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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What do you do??

I mean I'm never alone - I always have Arienne...

It just isn't quite the same KWIM? I'm at the point where I cry almost every night.... It's ridiculous. I don't know if I'm crying just because I'm lonely, or if its cos I miss my X DP... Well, I miss who he USED to be. I think it's both


I just don't know what to do anymore. Or how to deal with it without it consuming me. I feel like a shell of a person. I exist for my child and thats it, I sort of aimlessly float the rest of the time.

I'm too tired to do anything. I'm even too tired to get up and go to bed right now, and it's 12:15am and I'm exhausted because I've only got 4.5 hours sleep the night before.... DD is asleep on me and it's too much effort to get up, turn everything off, go get ready for bed and get in... It's ridiculous. I find everything hard. I just don't know what to do anymore.
:

No-one knows anything is wrong, because generally when I'm round people I'm happy - At least on the outside. And even if I'm not I can hide it well enough.

I'm sorry this is a pathetic post I'm just stuck and I don't know what to do.
 

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First of all


Next, it sounds like you are grieving the loss of your former life, which is completely normal. The holiday season can be especially difficult as usually there are so many memories connected to the season (no matter what you celebrate) If you're not careful, these feelings can escalate into a full blown depression, which sounds like where you might be headed (if not already there)

I strongly suggest that you seek counseling, just to talk things through. This is not abnormal. If you allow yourself to grieve, then the feelings will have somewhere to flow.

Depression is like a stagnant pool. It festers until there is movement, so move through those emotions, move your body (even if you have to force yourself), move a pen (journal, write 'unsent' letters~burn them)

You don't have to stay in the place you are in right now, it does get better. I just think you need to take some kind of action so you don't fall deeper into the abyss of depression.
 

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hi
I get that lonely depressed feeling too.

I don't know if it's the divorce, the fact that this will be the first holiday since my Mom died or just everything.

Fortunatley, I feel happier since I served X.
He is now paying more in child support than he ever did before and has DD every other week-end.
He has never changed a diaper or really spent much time with her so that is great-
it's just a shame that a court had to order it.

The yelling,arguing is gone from DD's world and we are at more peace.

But yes there are still the lonely nights.

Think of the reasons you and X split and hopefully that will help.

to you.

And your baby is beautiful and I love those boys- their handsome!

Sandra Mom to Stephanie8/5/2004
:
catLillith
: Newly single Mom
 

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I feel lonely most of the time. I wasn't married to ds's father and we broke up when I was newly pregnant. So, I've been single from the beginning.
It's really difficult to deal with. I miss feeling loved (by another adult). I miss companionship. I miss being held.
 

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I want to chime in and say that it does get better. I have been 'alone' for over 2 years now (the age of my DD) and I was pretty much alone during her pregnancy too. She was not planned (but MUCH LOVED) and I knew I wouldn't be with her Dad. I get used to get lonely, sometimes I still do but it's very few and far between. I don't know how old your DC is but maybe you could make special traditions for the two of you and that could curb your lonliness. It's really not so bad
 

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I could have written your post today. I think I dealt better with lonliness before I met my stbx. I love my son and it's not that HE makes things worse but having to deal with lonliness AND try to be a good parent and take good care of him by myself all the time makes everything 100x more difficult. The mama guilt on top of my own feelings can be unbearable some days.

I feel for you mama. Some days it really is THAT bad.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thankyou all so much for your replies and
s to you other lonely mamas out there. As BelovedK suggested - I have depression, I've had it for almost 11 years - Right from when I was still a child. I was on medication (Paxil) up until I was pregnant and I decided to stop due to the possible side effects on bub - It was really hard, but somehow I managed. I have a lady who comes round to see me once a week to see how I'm doing. And I see a psychiatrist once a month. Which is all very well but I have the habit of bottling up things and pretending I'm OK when I'm really not.... So they both think I'm coping fantasticly.... I am to the point of looking after Arienne, she's the one thing I can do right. It's just everything else I'm having problems coping with. I don't know how to say I'm not...

Quote:

Originally Posted by InstinctiveMama
I love my son and it's not that HE makes things worse but having to deal with lonliness AND try to be a good parent and take good care of him by myself all the time makes everything 100x more difficult. The mama guilt on top of my own feelings can be unbearable some days.

I feel for you mama. Some days it really is THAT bad.
That's EXACTLY how I feel. Thanks Mama for wording it a little better.

And thanks catlady7160 for what you said about Arienne and my boys
 

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to you. The grieving process is normal and it is actually pretty cleansing because sometimes, you get to see what you are missing is actually the ideal of the relationship (not necessarily how it actually was). Just be gentle with yourself and we'll always be here for support.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Hey - Thanks to everyone for your replies, I haven't been on for a while cos my latop broke
I'm hoping things will get better - Eventually anyways. Last night was horrible - I cried then she cried. I was that upset and I don't even know why I rang my best friend at her hotel in America where shes on holiday!!
 
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