[RainbowsMum]

What do you do??

I mean I'm never alone - I always have Arienne...

It just isn't quite the same KWIM? I'm at the point where I cry almost every night.... It's ridiculous. I don't know if I'm crying just because I'm lonely, or if its cos I miss my X DP... Well, I miss who he USED to be. I think it's both

I just don't know what to do anymore. Or how to deal with it without it consuming me. I feel like a shell of a person. I exist for my child and thats it, I sort of aimlessly float the rest of the time.

I'm too tired to do anything. I'm even too tired to get up and go to bed right now, and it's 12:15am and I'm exhausted because I've only got 4.5 hours sleep the night before.... DD is asleep on me and it's too much effort to get up, turn everything off, go get ready for bed and get in... It's ridiculous. I find everything hard. I just don't know what to do anymore.

:

No-one knows anything is wrong, because generally when I'm round people I'm happy - At least on the outside. And even if I'm not I can hide it well enough.

I'm sorry this is a pathetic post I'm just stuck and I don't know what to do.

 

[RainbowsMum]

Thankyou all so much for your replies and

s to you other lonely mamas out there. As BelovedK suggested - I have depression, I've had it for almost 11 years - Right from when I was still a child. I was on medication (Paxil) up until I was pregnant and I decided to stop due to the possible side effects on bub - It was really hard, but somehow I managed. I have a lady who comes round to see me once a week to see how I'm doing. And I see a psychiatrist once a month. Which is all very well but I have the habit of bottling up things and pretending I'm OK when I'm really not.... So they both think I'm coping fantasticly.... I am to the point of looking after Arienne, she's the one thing I can do right. It's just everything else I'm having problems coping with. I don't know how to say I'm not...

Quote:

Originally Posted by InstinctiveMama I love my son and it's not that HE makes things worse but having to deal with lonliness AND try to be a good parent and take good care of him by myself all the time makes everything 100x more difficult. The mama guilt on top of my own feelings can be unbearable some days. I feel for you mama. Some days it really is THAT bad.

That's EXACTLY how I feel. Thanks Mama for wording it a little better.

And thanks catlady7160 for what you said about Arienne and my boys

 

[RainbowsMum]

Hey - Thanks to everyone for your replies, I haven't been on for a while cos my latop broke

I'm hoping things will get better - Eventually anyways. Last night was horrible - I cried then she cried. I was that upset and I don't even know why I rang my best friend at her hotel in America where shes on holiday!!