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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
To make a long story short ( if thats possible lol) My MIL has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It is so hard to deal with, and I dont know how to anymore, honestly.
To back up a little; MIL lost her job a year ago due to lay offs and subsequently had a nasty fall and broke a bone. We moved her across country to live near us ( she was living in our extra room but her unstable nature made it impossible to continue so we got her an apt a mile away. ) She is very, very needy, dependent, and overly emotional. Much more so than we can handle. We have our own issues to deal with too, yk? LOL
She still ( over a year later) has no car, no job, no money etc, and we have helped when we can but there's only so much we can do. Right now we have a standing "Help Mom Day" each week where we take her shopping and I do her laundry for her, we take her to Dr's appointments as needed in addition.
It is just not getting any better, in fact it is getting worse. Her medication was upped but she still is acting like an emotional child one minute and then a stubborn old lady the next. She has a problem saying NO to people that she thinks might "need or want" her ( her neighbors) and they have been taking advantage of her. ( She is in a state subsidized house b/c we can no longer pay her rent!!) Most recently one of her unsavory "friends" stole her credit card and used it. She calls us with these major problems constantly.

Sigh. I just dont know what to do. We are supposed to go over to her house for Christmas dinner and I try to stay positive and help her but OMG she is driving me insane. I just want to scream " Grow up!" at her but I know that wouldn't help at all, and it would be mean as well. I am just at my wits end with her. Dh and I are newlyweds for crying out loud. ( How she acted before our wedding: a horror novel in itself.)

The fact is, we are going to have to keep setting boundaries with her and keep helping her set her own, even though she wont follow through.. She has to start taking care of herself and not be so helpless but to tell her this sends her into a spiral.
Should we schedule a meeting with her therapist? Do we just try to stay out of it except when we can afford to? ( emotionally or otherwise) Do we tell her bluntly that it is too much for us to deal with or will she not be able to deal with that kind of news?

If you read this far you're a saint.
Any suggestions?
( BTW< Dh is an only child. MIL is divorced. There's no one else to help with this.)
 

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That all sounds so difficult. Big hugs to you.
:

I would set a meeting with her therapist and ask her to help you work out a plan on setting boundaries with MIL.

Christmas, for one thing. What are your other options? Do you really have to go to her house? What if she's invited to your house instead? (Or would that not be any better?)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hey, I just wanted to add that I hope I didn't offend anyone who is also BP. Sometimes when I think about it all, I forget that she actually has a medical reason to be acting this way, and it's not her fault.

Back to Christmas...That was my idea because she is always wanting us and the kids to spend time at her apt and do special family things with her. She wants to have the kids over by themselves, even to spend the night , but I wont let the kids over there without me or my DH. Period. So I tried to make it so that she had something fun to plan on her turf, on my terms in a way, but I am dreading it. Her neighbor and "friend" is a sex offender and generally a creepy person, who I know will invite herself to MIL's Christmas dinner, so I am wondering what the hell I was thinking.

It's only for the afternoon though, I will get through it. And we can leave when we are ready, at least. LOL

I think I'm going to make an app with the therapist this week so Dh and I can talk to him about what to do...
 
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