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How to fix my problem

416 views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  peacepie 
#1 ·
Ok, as with most of the country, we are having money problems. I am a SAHM and going back to work is pretty much out of the question (for both dh and I). Dh works his 40 and goes to the gym (weight loss program for the military, he is enlisting in another month or so). He is so very worried about being broke. It is affecting the way he treats me. I try to be understanding about the position that he is in and I have taken to cleaning my mom's and grandmother's house for an extra 100 a week. I worry about the bills and such, but I don't dwell on those things. I am an optimist by nature and I know that it will all work out. How can I ease the tension on him? He is so worried, constantly thinking about it. I have tried to explain to him that most of America lives from paycheck to paycheck. It is really hurting me to watch him suffer like this. I don't know how to pull him out of this funk. Yes, I already know that we won't get rich in the military, we are basically going in so that he can gain skill and get out of this tiny little town that we live in. If I went back to work I would be working to pay other people to raise our child (our view, meaning no offense to someone with children in daycare) and the gas to get to the city. I have great office skills, but haven't worked in over a year... I just want him laughing and happy again. How can I do that?
 
#2 ·
Can you do part time office work? or work from home? that might relieve some of his anxiety.

Like alot of men who are the sole breadwinners, they can become overwhelmed and frightened that there isnt enough to go around. Its true that so many people live paycheck to paycheck, but obviously this is weighing heavy on his mind. have you both sat down and looked at your bills? i only ask this because he might think things are worse then they really are, if he leaves that job up to you (as my husband does with me, only he never gets stressed, because he says i stress enough for both of us!). Can he get a parttime job on the weekends to bring in a litlle extra cash?

Good luck.

Lisa
 
#3 ·
hello!
i can relate...
i just try to remind my dh that we have everything we really need; and try to go with out even more.
i know that that doesnt balance the check book! but money comes and goes and as long as you have each other and your family and your health....
ah well i know you know what i'm saying, how do we make them see?
reassure him what a great job he's doing and how happy you are. i know his stress is based in reality but maybe he also worries about the things he cannot provide you with..... things that probably don't matter to you anyway!
and you have a plan for the future so this is all temporary anyway. tell him how much faith you have in him and his ability to provide for his family;;;
ok maybe i should do a little more of that with my dh!
good for you for finding ways to help out. there are so many stay at home ways to make money really. not that i've tried any!
take care & good luck!

nancy
 
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