[AveryLauren's_mama]

We desperately need some help here. My dd (26 months) is extremely attached to her nuk. She only has it for naps and bedtime. We recently took her to the dentist and he said that she has an overbite that is probably caused from the nuk. He strongly suggested stopping the nuk as soon as we can because her teeth could go back to normal, as long as we don't wait too long. After the appt., we talked about it with her and put all of her nuks in a bag (she used to sleep with 4 in her bed... we're down to just 1 now.) We talked about taking the bag of nuks to the dentist/toy store/wherever and that she could get something else to sleep with. She even got to pick out a stuffed puppy at the toy store. So, we've been talking about getting rid of the nuk for several months. We talk about how she is a big girl now and that big girls don't need nuks. We go through all of her "big girl" friends and cousin (that she looks up to) and how they don't have nuks.

Yesterday, she told me she didn't need her nuk any more. She said it again today, but of course, as soon as nap time came, she started begging/crying for her nuk. Then tonight, I tried to clip the tip off the nuk. Well, that was a nightmare!!! She was SOOO upset that her nuk was "broken". She wouldn't even stay in her bed. I thought if we could maybe get through one rough night (or a few), she would adjust and maybe forget about it (with lots of distraction on my part). I finally gave her another non-"broken" one and she was ecstatic. She closed her eyes and went straight to sleep.

I don't know what else to do, except wait awhile and try again. I just don't see an end in sight. I'm afraid she will NEVER give up the nuk!

Kim

 

[Robinna]

I'm no help, just sympathy. DS is 20 mos and the nuks are his loveys. I have no idea what to do, and it took so long for him to learn to sleep that I'm terrified to mess with it. Look forward to other responses to this...
xo robin

 

[Nurturing Mama]

We went through something similar, so I thought I would share my experience. My son had a really bad overbite that was caused by using his binky. It wasn't just an overbite, there was probably 1/2 inch of vertical space between his top front teeth and his bottom front teeth. He could stick his whole tongue through it. We took him to the dentist for that very reason and we were told the same thing that you were, that it was caused by the pacifier, and it most likely go back to normal if he gave up the binky.

We explained to him that his binky wasn't healthy for his teeth anymore, and that we wanted him to try to stop using it so that his teeth could stay healthy and strong. He looked like he understood (he was a little older than your daughter...he was 32 months at the time), and we were fortunate in that he didn't ask for it again, but we had 1-2 weeks of really difficult nights. I ended up letting him fall asleep to the tv because it provided a distraction, and I let him have as many sippy cups of milk as he wanted at bedtime because that is also a comfort to him (he was no longer nursing at that point).

Does your daughter have any other sort of comfort that she can use as a crutch, like nursing or sippy cups? How did the stuffed puppy work out?

Have you considered allowing her to fall asleep with her pacifier and then taking it after she's good and asleep? I thought I might resort to that if I couldn't get my son to stop using his pacifier. If she doesn't need it to STAY asleep, then that would greatly reduce the amount of time it is in her mouth.

Can you think of anything that would distract her until she finally learns to fall asleep without the pacifier? I read about a million books that first week, and then resorted to TV when I was too tired to keep reading. What about riding in the car?

I've heard of people doing the Build A Bear things in the mall and putting the binky inside of it, so the child can keep their binky close by when they sleep, but it's safe inside the bear.

I'm just throwing out ideas. I know it is really hard because I was there only four months ago.

One last thing...my son's vertical gap is completely closed in just four months without the pacifier, and there is only a slight horizontal overbite. I was amazed at how fast it went back!

Good luck!

Carrie

 

[writermommy]

My oldest dd was a "binky baby" until she was four years old. By two and a half, it was reserved for sleeping and long car trips. On her fourth birthday, she had agreed to give it up. Well, she cried for a long time and we gave it to her. She really needed it and I couldn't go through with the screaming. She did have a slight overbite, nothing serious. I'm not even sure the binky is the culprit because my two brothers and I have overbites too and I never sucked my thumb or a pacifier. So, it could be genetic.

when she was ready, we did the new toy thing and it worked fine. When I tried it before she was ready to give it up, it didn't work. She lost her baby teeth last year and her new ones aren't showing signs of the overbite now. No real advice for you, just perspective from someone who's been there and made it through. I figure orthodontists are probably cheaper than therapy for the memories of Mommy letting her scream without binky on her fourth birthday :LOL

 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

This may not be much help for the OP since her child is only 2, but in case anyone with an older child sees this, I'll share what we did.

DD was a paci girl from the start, by age 2 or so, we were down to nap and night only, which was totally fine with me. But right after she turned 3, we visited her cousins for 2 weeks (who were 2 1/2 and 3 1/3 at the time). The cousins had their binkies in their mouths 24/7.

This made dd want hers of course, so we allowed it some, figuring we'd get her back to sleeping times only once we got home. Well, she never went back -- we couldn't get her to give it up during the day.

When she was almost 4, we were riding with another family to an event. The little boy in the family had just turned 4, and had given up his paci on his 4th birthday. (He had a speech impediment, so it was necessary.) He saw dd sucking on her pacifier and told her (on his own initiative) that she would have to "throw it out the window" when she turned 4. :LOL His mom told me that they had dreaded his reaction, since he was so attached to it, but he never even asked for it! Later I told dd that it was true -- when you turn 4, it's time to give up your pacifier. We counted down the last 5 days advent-calender style -- she would remove a piece of paper from the door, leaving X days until her birthday. When her birthday finally arrived, she came into the kitchen, removed the last piece of paper, took her paci out of her mouth and handed it to me! She never sucked one again. A week or so after her birthday, she was tired or sad about something, and began to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she wished she had her pacifier. But she didn't ask me to get it for her. I just comforted her and she got past it. Soon she never gave it a thought.

 

[AveryLauren's_mama]

Hi ladies-
Thanks for your replies! The other thing I wanted to add is that she also has a 3 month old brother, which makes me feel like this is a bad time to take away something she is so attached to and that provides her with so much comfort. When I'm in the shower, she plays in her room and often just snuggles in bed relaxing with her nuk.

Nurturingmama, I wanted to reply to your questions....

Does your daughter have any other sort of comfort that she can use as a crutch, like nursing or sippy cups? How did the stuffed puppy work out?

She sleeps with Pooh Bear, a Teddy Bear, and Marley (the stuffed puppy we bought). I tuck them all in with her at night and she really enjoys snuggling with them at night. But, they don't provide the comfort that her nuk provides. She weaned from nursing a few months ago on her own (I was pregnant and my milk supply dropped considerably). When we bought Marley (we were listening to her Reggae for Kids CD the day we bought it, thus the name), we explained that she would snuggle with him at night instead of using her nuk. She was O.K. with the idea until it was bedtime.

Have you considered allowing her to fall asleep with her pacifier and then taking it after she's good and asleep? I thought I might resort to that if I couldn't get my son to stop using his pacifier. If she doesn't need it to STAY asleep, then that would greatly reduce the amount of time it is in her mouth.

That's a good thought. I notice that it does fall out sometimes and she does sleep without it. But, I also hear her in the middle of the night when she wakes up and can't find it. "Where'd my nuk go???" Occasionally, my dh has to go in and help her find it.

Can you think of anything that would distract her until she finally learns to fall asleep without the pacifier? I read about a million books that first week, and then resorted to TV when I was too tired to keep reading. What about riding in the car?

Last night, I tried to read her lots of books. She was yawning and tired, but as soon as I was done, she'd cry for her nuk. I'm hesitant to do the TV thing because we resorted to that for many months to get her to sleep. It took us a long time to get to where we are (books, tuck her in, kisses/hugs, sleep on own). She is SOOOO good about going to sleep on her own now, which is important since I have a young baby to take care of. (We used to lay with her until she fell asleep.) She's only fallen asleep a couple of times (both times in the car) without her nuk. But, it was on long trips (over 45 min.) and she fell asleep right before we got home. I do feel like I need something to distract her from it, so she can realize she CAN fall asleep without it. I don't think she thinks it's even remotely possible to fall asleep without her beloved nuk!!

I've heard of people doing the Build A Bear things in the mall and putting the binky inside of it, so the child can keep their binky close by when they sleep, but it's safe inside the bear.

I think this would traumatize my dd!!!

I think she's too young to grasp that concept and would want to tear open the bear to get it out!!

One last thing...my son's vertical gap is completely closed in just four months without the pacifier, and there is only a slight horizontal overbite. I was amazed at how fast it went back!

WOW!! That really makes me want to wean her of it even more. I had an overbite and needed a lot of orthodontic work. I want to spare her of that if possible. But, I also totally realize that her overbite may be genetic!

I guess I'm wondering from those with experience.... should I wait until my dd seems more ready to give it up? My dd is a very resilient, independent, smart, and confident young girl. I feel like if I could just come up with the right solution, she may go for it. But, nothing I've tried has worked so far. Taking it away before she's ready or willing just doesn't seem gentle or respectful to me. But, will it EVER be easy to take it away??? It sounds like some of you with older kids had an easier time than I am having. Maybe she's too young!!

Kim

 

[Nurturing Mama]

Quote:

Maybe she's too young!!

You may be right about that. I was blown away at how my son never asked for his again, and I think he was ready. It sounds like your daughter may still need it, especially with your baby being only three months old, and requiring a ton of your time, not to mention that it is a huge adjustment for your daughter.

If it were me, I would probably try to limit the pacifier use by taking it away after she falls asleep, unless of course you have to get up all night to keep finding it for her.

While the overbite is a concern, it probably isn't a great idea to try to get her to give up the pacifier if you don't think she is ready. I know when the dentist told me to take it away from my son, I thought, "yeah, right", and I was willing to let him keep using it if he wasn't ready to give it up. It just happened that he was.

I guess my point is that if the gentle weaning methods aren't working, maybe you could try again in a couple of months, after she has matured a little more, and adjusted to the baby a little more.

Good luck!

Carrie

 

[amybw]

sorry no advice, just a

Amy

 

[Greensleeves]

Another paci girl here, the same age. We also limit to sleep times only. I've been thinking of weaning off the paci too, but dd is nowhere near ready right now.

For your girl, the first thing I thought of when you mentioned the new babe is that it might be bad timing to do it now. She has had a lot of changes, 3 months is not a lot of time to adjust. It also seems like it would be too stressful for you right now, I know exactly what you mean about having worked so hard to get where you are with her sleep. What if you wait 3 more months or so, when things settle in a little more for your family? I honestly don't think 3 more months will make a big difference as far as the teeth go. I know when you hear something like that from a doc/dentist it can panic you a little, but you have to decide what is right for your girl.

I'm thinking that in a couple of months, the baby will be older, the weather will be warmer......what if then you scheduled a week or two of all day physical activities for your girl, where she would be really tired every day and fall asleep more easily. You could also make sure there is only one paci available at the beginning of this, and if it gets lost don't look for it. Then you can honestly say, "I'm sorry, honey, I don't know where it is" and give lots of love and sympathy about it. (Yup I have been on many the "Great Paci Hunt" so I know how easily they get lost.) In a calmer moment you could tell her a story about how the paci fairy came for the pacis to take them back to the forest, or some other fancy story. This helped my dd give up something else but she is crazy about fairies and such so your mileage may vary.

I am planning to try this myself in a couple months, maybe we should let each other know how it goes.

 

[TiredX2]

I would hesitate to wean from the pacifier at that age (given that she does not suck her thumb or nurse).

Most 26 month olds still NEED to suck. I would be hesitant to forcefully wean from the pacifer and find that she instead turns to her thumb or finger.

Additionally, many dentists think that the window for no permanent damage is MUCH higher than 26 months. Yes, it is pulling her teeth out of position *now* but she could probably go on using the pacifier for a while longer and cause no further *permanent* damage. Some dentists say closer to the 4-5 range and some even say as long as they still have baby teeth it is not "really" an issue.

 

[Greensleeves]

Tiredx2,
That is good to know! Like the OP I was concerned about it eventually having an effect on her teeth. Maybe I will have to do more research about the issue. My little one does still have a high sucking need, and does not get it met by nursing unfortunately. It would be a relief not to have to take it away from her.

She does have a lisp though, which is adorable but I wonder if it is due to paci use.

 

[carrietorgc]

just wanted to chime in - my dd is 24 mo and has a definite need to suck - she weaned in march when my milk dried up

and I firmly believe that she is just too young to not need SOME comfort from sucking.

 

[Greensleeves]

Carrietorgc,
Does your dd use a paci? Couldn't tell from your post, just curious.

 

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I think the dentist is probably over reacting. I've seen lots of research/commentary that seems to go both ways -- bad for teeth vs. no impact on teeth. My basic conclusion is that if it were really clearly bad, the research would show that. Since it obviously doesn't, dentists are just as likely to follow the same (perhaps bad) advise as non-dentists. Sort of like peds. giving really awful breastfeeding advise because they don't actually know, they've just heard the same stories the rest of us have.

My DS was addicted to his pacifier. We did limit it to naps and nighttime from early on, which is sounds like you also do. They weren't allowed at preschool either, by school rule. Beyond that, we let him alone on the topic. One day, right around age 4, he said "I don't need these anymore" and threw them in the trash. Never cried for them, never asked about them, never indicted in any way that he missed them. It was so easy I almost fell over. For me, that vindicated all the times I had to argue with my mother or others about allowing him to use it for so long. FWIW, his teeth are perfect. On the other hand, DD, who never liked pacifiers at all, always shows signs of teeth issues at 2 YO.