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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I'm in an awkward situation...<br><br>
I'm due in March and my roommate/friend was going to throw me a baby shower. The problem is, she just miscarried and she hasn't mentioned the shower since. I don't want to push it with her because of the sensitivity issue, but I reeeeally need a shower thrown for me.<br><br>
I hate to sound greedy, because that isn't my intent, but DH and I have very little money and were really depending on a shower to provide a lot of the neccessities. We just moved to WA in October and our friends assume my roommate is throwing it. Plus, she is the only semi-crunchy friend I have here and I was relieved that she was going to throw the shower because I assumed she would make sure my crunchy desires were known. What should I do? Would it be tacky to advirtise to my friends that no one is throwing me a shower?<br><br>
Kristi
 

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I knew that nobody would throw my baby shower just because my friends are all very busy and kinda self centered. So I asked my mom to do it when I was 6 months pregnant and still didnt have any offers. Could you have family do it? I dont think it hurts to ask at all. Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>*Aimee*</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7240531"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I knew that nobody would throw my baby shower just because my friends are all very busy and kinda self centered. So I asked my mom to do it when I was 6 months pregnant and still didnt have any offers. Could you have family do it? I dont think it hurts to ask at all. Good luck!</div>
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I wish I could but I don't have any family in the state. I'm really bummed about this.<br><br>
Kristi
 

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What a bummer! It's hard to live in a state with no relatives in it -- ask me how I know! I've probably got some hand-me-down stuff for you if you want to drive down to Duvall one day. When did you say you were due? Do you know the gender yet?<br><br>
Nealy<br>
Tandem-nursing mama to Thales (posterior c/s, 12/9/02) and Lydia (VBAC 2/26/06)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~~Mama2B~~</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7236788"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We just moved to WA in October and our friends assume my roommate is throwing it. Plus, she is the only semi-crunchy friend I have here and I was relieved that she was going to throw the shower because I assumed she would make sure my crunchy desires were known. What should I do? Would it be tacky to advirtise to my friends that no one is throwing me a shower?<br><br>
Kristi</div>
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could you mention in a kind off passing way to your other friends how bummed out you are that you wont be getting a shower (you might have to make sure your roomate isnt going to throw one before going this route)? when they ask why, you can say that your roomate isnt going to be able to do it after all, and say how worried you are that you wont be ready/prepared for baby. maybe one of them will step up and throw you one? if that doesnt work...i dont know baby shower etiquette, and this is probably bad <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: but could your husband say that he is throwing one for you?? of course you would probably have to do all the planning, but he could write the invites, and just say to people that he wanted to do this for you since nobody else was able to? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> i hope it works out for you mama
 

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I personally would not ask my friends to do that for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> But that's just me. When we moved to WA we did not have a baby shower for our babe. We don't have any family in this state either. We just knew that's how it was going to be moving here not knowing anyone. I was bummed...heck we didn't even have anyone to help watch our kids when he arrived <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It's hard to not be near family...I can feel you on that one for sure. After that we joined a co op preschool and made great friends and found ourselves finally fitting into our community. Then when my girl came along and I had NO girl clothes whatsoever..the mamas from our co op threw me a surprise shower! I was very shocked and so happy...to finally have people who cared enough to do something so amazing for me and my baby. I guess what I'm saying is..it may not happen this time around..but eventually you may find a support group that would do something like that, w/out having to ask. I know it's hard to not have that for your babe..and it would help you out very much..but at this point, it may not happen. Since you're due next month..I imagine it could be hard to plan accordingly.<br><br>
I feel like I've seen this posted somewhere before...or am I crazy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Like on the local yahoo groups around here...freecycle maybe, or craigslist? If not..maybe you could post wanted ads to them for baby items for free or near low cost. The NW is a wonderful, giving community and there are tons people who will help you with things.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> I may have some things too...depending on what you need. (and after I find these things and locate them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> as we are in the process of moving). My local yahoo moms group got together after dd was born and made me meals too! I had like 11 meals in the freezer after she arrived..and a giftcard from them. Maybe you can search yahoo and join a local mamas group...you might find great support from others there. Actually...that moms group has a "garage sale" group where they list their kid items for sale..plus they are always getting rid of baby stuff (and could help w/ cost..or do low cost, etc)<br><br>
Let me know and I can give you links to all these groups,etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rowan-zilla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7242757"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">could you mention in a kind off passing way to your other friends how bummed out you are that you wont be getting a shower (you might have to make sure your roomate isnt going to throw one before going this route)? when they ask why, you can say that your roomate isnt going to be able to do it after all, and say how worried you are that you wont be ready/prepared for baby. maybe one of them will step up and throw you one? if that doesnt work...i dont know baby shower etiquette, and this is probably bad <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: but could your husband say that he is throwing one for you?? of course you would probably have to do all the planning, but he could write the invites, and just say to people that he wanted to do this for you since nobody else was able to? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> i hope it works out for you mama</div>
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Hey..that's an idea! Never thought of that! I imagine you'd have to hurry since you're due soon. And typically you want a shower a few weeks before <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/baby.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="baby"> arrives to know what else to buy. You can also buy carriers cheap on CL..or TBW. Another place you can check is <a href="http://www.motherhoodmarket.com/index.php" target="_blank">Motherhood Market</a>. It was started by a Seattle area mom and is full of stuff now! It's like ebay..but for kid items..but w/ no fee to list and it can stay on until it sells! I haven't really looked for things there..so i'm not sure of prices <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Hey I might be the werid one but I say throw one for yourself. I personally dont believe in baby showers and wouldnt let any of my friends or my sister throw one for me when I was pregnant the first time because I dont believe in asking others to buy things for me because I got pregnant, but that backfired cause instead of getting it all ahead of time, they all just brought gifts for me and the baby when he arrived. So.... I say just throw one for yourself. I dont think its tacky. And you need things, we really didnt. This time around Im haveing a Mother Blessing and Im really looking forward to that.<br><br>
Where at in washington are you? I have some baby stuff, and an extra portable baby swing. I would be happy to give those things to you. Please pm your addresse and what you need. I would love to help another mama in need.<br><br>
Hugs,<br><br>
I hope it works out for you.<br><br>
Angie
 

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You know, I was in a similar situation. My close friend was supposed to throw a shower for me but she had a lot of drama in her life with work, online classes and being a single mom, etc etc. She said she didn't have time to prepare since she always does homework on Sat's.<br><br>
I was so bummed and was going to just throw one myself when I found out that DH called our neighbor, which we were friends with but not exactly super close and she totally offered to throw one for me. Then a fellow member in his networking group offered to throw one for me from the group. It was so sweet of him <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I also think that it would not be tacky to announce that there may not be a shower or that you'll be throwing it yourself. They are your friends and I'm sure they want to help celebrate. PM me. I'm not great at decorations or things like that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> but I'd be willing to help out and drop "crunchy" hints. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks so much for the suggestions! I think I'll start dropping massive hints and see if someone else will step up. If not, maybe I will just throw one for myself. These are good ideas.<br><br>
I'm not wanting one to be greedy, but in all honesty we have nothing for the baby at this point. We were once we have the essentials we can certainly afford bigger clothes, etc. But things like slings, carseats, the mini co-sleeper bed we want, cloth diapers, etc.are pricey when you have to buy them all at once. Anyways, I'm not due until the end of March, so I have a little time. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I'll let everyone know what happens.<br><br>
BTW Would it be really tacky to evite MDC mamas in the area? I'm not trying to suck gifts out of people I don't really know but I would love to meet other crunchy moms and I haven't really had a chance to do so. Maybe if I did an evite but stated that no one has to bring a gift? IDK...<br><br>
Krisit
 

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What is the mini co=sleeper you are looking at? I might have something similar I am no longer using.<br><br>
And add to that, I stopped using it when DS was only two months old and he just sleeps in bed with me, as he did on and off before I stopped using it. So co-sleepers aren't really a necessity.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>aniT</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7250919"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What is the mini co=sleeper you are looking at? I might have something similar I am no longer using.<br><br>
And add to that, I stopped using it when DS was only two months old and he just sleeps in bed with me, as he did on and off before I stopped using it. So co-sleepers aren't really a necessity.</div>
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I agree. We wanted one when we had our third..but people who had them kept saying the same thing: save your money! Plus the mini has weight restrictions (more strict than the regular) and we were glad we didn't get it b/c ds was huge (10.3 lbs) and got bigger..and heavier..fast (and would have gone past the limit real quick!) He just slept w/ me..and still does...along w/ dd now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cldistefano</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7250955"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I agree. We wanted one when we had our third..but people who had them kept saying the same thing: save your money! Plus the mini has weight restrictions (more strict than the regular) and we were glad we didn't get it b/c ds was huge (10.3 lbs) and got bigger..and heavier..fast (and would have gone past the limit real quick!) He just slept w/ me..and still does...along w/ dd now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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So the mini co-sleeper is a brand? Silly me, I thought it was a small co-sleeper. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I have a snuggle nest. It said to stop using it when the child was so long... I forget.. I stopped using it during the cold snap a month or so ago. He was always so cold but not when he was sleeping next to me. Everyone sleeps better now.<br><br>
With DD I never used anything. She sleep in bed with us the day she came home from the hospital. The snuggle nest was just to make DH feel more comfortable. He has given up now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cldistefano</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7250955"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I agree. We wanted one when we had our third..but people who had them kept saying the same thing: save your money! Plus the mini has weight restrictions (more strict than the regular) and we were glad we didn't get it b/c ds was huge (10.3 lbs) and got bigger..and heavier..fast (and would have gone past the limit real quick!) He just slept w/ me..and still does...along w/ dd now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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DH is nervous about having the baby in bed with us and I kinda am too. Both of us are heavy sleepers and it's a small bed. Plus we both have back problems and sleep with a foam pad. I want to have a co-sleeper or some sort of sidecar so we don't have to worry about it. Also, DH and I have different schedules sometimes and I want him to be able to take a nap alone with the baby without worry.<br><br>
And I think the mini-co-sleeper is good for 25 pounds or so which would take the baby through the delicate first months.<br><br>
Kristi
 

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Well...we've never used one..so don't take my word for it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Just telling you what we researched..and since you wanted to save money..or spend less..i thought I would share what we knew <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
A mama on the Seattle NINO group just posted this (do you belong to it?) I can get you her info to email her, etc if you're interested..just let me know:<br><br>
"Hi all,<br><br>
I've got a full-sized blue Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper I need to sell. We<br>
used it with our first child but have since moved and now don't have<br>
room for it. It's in great shape.....I' d like to sell it for $80 or<br>
best offer.<br><br>
Let me know if you are interested!"
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
SOmeone offered to throw me a shower. I'm sooooo relived! Thanks so much for all the info! I'll post an invite in the SEA tribal area. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Kristi
 

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that's great news for you, mama! I'm really happy for you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Whoo hoo! Glad it's worked out for you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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