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It sounds simple but its not. Having multiple issues with my daughter that seemed to have built up from last year and now they are full tilt. Her attitude, her dress, she has even skipped school one day and it hasn't even been a month since she started this year. I have punished her and continue to but she doesnt not want to talk about anything. I don't want this to be a me against her I want us to work this out together but I cant force her to open up to me.

Any suggestions appreciated.

Lisa
 

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I agree that you can't force the talking to happen. My only suggestion is to spend more time together, keep her occupied, do stuff together. So increase your proximity to her and maybe the talking will happen, or at least she might start feeling better about things.
 

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With my daughters, I found that a weekend trip road trip out of town to somewhere fun helped get the talking going. There's all that time in the car, and the anticipation of new places and things to do helped as an ice breaker to talking.
 

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Look for times where eye contact isn't necessary. It's way less intimidating and much easier for stuff to just spill out. Prime opportunities: while driving somewhere (hence a road trip being an awesome idea), hand-washing dishes together, canning/processing bulk food in the kitchen, that sort of thing. Kind of like the teen's version of the toddler's "parallel play," :lol.

Miranda
 

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I think that taking an interest in things she is interested in helps. Even if that is which videos on you tube she thinks are funny, or music that doesn't quite seem like music to you.


It's hard, but sometimes, when things at there worse, it helps to let go of what the problems seem to be, and just focus on our relationship with our teen.
 
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I agree with Miranda - "parallel play" requiring no eye contact is key. Somehow my daughter and I got in the habit of evening walks, and now it's often the only time we connect in a day. I just let her talk about what she wants to, and try to actively listen and ask interested questions.
 
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