<p>first step is to get him pooping outside of the diaper. is the poop fairly regular, like you know you can expect it within an hour or two of the same time every day? let him go naked during that time. winter months are great for this -- if you are lucky enough to be home a lot with nothing urgent to do. now, he's apparently attached to pooping in a diaper/pull up. you can tell him that he can certainly poop in it, just not wearing it. you will open the pull up and put it on top of the potty seat (hopefully you have one of those little kid potties) or the toilet seat insert, or even just lay it open on the floor and he can squat over it. if you can just get him to do this, he will have made a huge stride toward toilet training. because once he sees for himself that he can do that, he will on his own progress to going on the toilet. if it were me, i would give him a couple of days notice that this change is going to come. as in, you have a couple more days to keep pooping in your diaper/pull up like you are used to, but on saturday (or whenever you decide), we are going to start making a change that i think you are eventually going to like. here's what we are going to do. it will be fun!! (tell him.)</p>
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<p>just my opinion, but making them clean up their own underwear sounds punitive to me. the kid is going to resent you for it, and resist more. you want to build up their confidence and self esteem instead. as in, how proud and impressed you are at his peeing in the toilet and standing up even, WOW!! you are so accomplished, i bet you could actually poop in the toilet too.</p>
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<p>and for those whose kid poops in their underwear on a regular basis... stop putting them in underwear when you expect a poop!! the very best is if they can go naked or at least bottomless. give them a place to do it, even if it's not the toilet. lay out an open diaper on the floor and let them use that. way better for both of you than using underpants that way!</p>
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<p>keep things positive. don't get mad, or frustrated. and don't give up.</p>