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We are lucky in that ds1 has never really hit or pushed or been physical with ds2, and is generally very loving and helpful. But whenever ds2 takes a toy that ds1 is playing with, or upsets his train track, or something like that, ds1 screams at him. Now, dh and I do yell on occasion, I will admit, but it is certainly not like this. We have talked, and talked and talked about this. We have talked about other ways to handle his frustration - coming to us, asking for help, asking nicely for the toy back from ds1, etc.<br><br>
Finally I lost my cool and told him that if he kept yellling at ds1 I was going to take the toy away. I know this was a mistake, but I was at a total loss. Then of course ds1 yelled at ds2 again, I tried to talk to him, but dh was on my case to follow through, so I took the train away. I knew it was not the right thing to do, but I felt stuck. Anyway, we are now an hour into total brat mode (which is unlike ds1), just power struggle after power struggle.<br><br>
So, what do I do about ds1 yelling at ds2? I can't stand it anymore.
 

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When my oldest ds nearly 4 screams at ds 16 months I model how he should speak to his little brother. Ialso remind him that his brother may not understand not to take apart his plaything. Before the situation starts I say this may happen do you want to play where your brother can not reach the objet.<br>
Susan
 

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He's using his words instead of hitting, and that should be seen as positive.<br><br>
When my dd yells at her sister, I tell her, "I am the Mommy, not you. If she's doing something that bothers you or is not the right thing to do, come and tell me and I'll help her. Your job is to play with her and be her friend, not tell her the right things to do."<br><br>
Doesn't always work, but I can tell she's starting to internalize it a little bit.
 
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