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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In the last week, Luke (2yo) has started biting. He bites when he's upset or angry, but also when he gets excited. For example, he & Adam (his 4 yo brother) will be playing a chasing game, and they'll fall over together and tickle/wrestle. Luke will be so excited that he'll lean over and bite poor Adam! Hard! Adam has two bite marks on his chest from Luke.
When it happens, I usually separate the two, give Adam a hug and tell him, "I'm sorry, I know that hurt. Let me help Luke not to do that anymore." Then I take Luke on my lap and firmly tell him, "Biting hurts Adam. Teeth are for food, not people!" I try to calm Luke so he's not tempted to do it again (at least, not immediately), redirect him to some independent play, and then calm Adam, because he's usually upset & crying.
Anyone have input about how to help the both of them? I need to help Luke stop biting, and in the meantime, comfort Adam when it happens (he's usually the target.)
 

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My son used to bite. He started at 9 month and we finally got him to stop around two.

It took a lot of work. He would bite when frustrated, or angry, or tired, or grumpy... You name it, he bit for it :LOL I was a WOHM then and we found a wonderful AP DCP who helped us out in being consistent in a nice AP way. We all had to really stay on top of him and watch him closely. He always ALWAYS bit when meeting new kids or in a different situation so we always warned people and parents. So we would try to intervene before it happened and then talked to him and calmed him down. If we didn't get there in time and he bit we would remove him from the situation, calm him down, talk to him and try to come up with a better way to express his anger. Half the time he didn't understand what we were saying because he was so young but it was good practice


We also taught him to bite himself when he got older. We told him if he got frustrated and wanted to bite something he could bite his arm or a special toy. Our DCP did this too. There were a couple of days where you could see bite marks on his arm! He only did this a few times and I think he realized it hurt, at which point he stopped biting.
 

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you are handling it very well. it is a stage, and will pass too.

i am not sure i would teach my children bite themselves. there was a time when dd would hit herself (happened on only several occasions, a year or so ago) and i would tell her 'not hurting Ada'. i do not want her to hurt herself or others.
 

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I have a two-year-old who does affectionate biting, on-and-off for many, many months now. A typical biting scenario is similar to what you described--roughhousing with Daddy, then a chomp out of Daddy's shoulder. He'll also just walk up to us and bite with a playful look in his eye, as a way to engage us in playing.

What is currently working for us is asking for a kiss instead. I can see him coming a mile off with a bite on his mind, and I'll get down and ask for a smooch. If he does get a bite in, I'll remind him that it hurts and then ask for a kiss, and make a big deal out of how much nicer the kiss is.

He's also learned how to ask for "tickle," so he doesn't need to bite us to start a rough-and-tumble session.

We also read the book Teeth are not for biting (can't remember the author), and it is one of his favorites right now. It is gentle and non-punitive, too.

While biting does hurt me and his daddy, it must be doubly hard for you to have to tend to both kids. Can you get into the wrestling to keep a better eye on the younger one? Sounds like you're doing a great job!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hmmm... the kissing idea might work. Then again, I may lose a lip when he chomps instead of puckers! :LOL I'll try & see how it works.

As for joining in the wrestling, I'm a little hesitant. Being 5 1/2 months pregnant, I'm wary of being kicked. We'll see...
 

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Ah, I missed that you have a new little one on the way--yes, be careful while wrestling!

The kisses don't have to be on your face. In fact, I usually request a kiss on my leg or knee, which is where he usually aims to bite.

Good luck. Biting really, really hurts, and when I get bitten a lot of patience flies right out the window.
 
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