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My problem is this: My 5yo DS will NOT get up and get ready in the mornings until I am flat out screaming at him to do so. This morning, I vowed that I would make this morning pleasant for our household, so I started out gently trying to wake him up. I was saying things like, "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey" and "Up and at 'em sweetie" etc. for literally 10 solid minutes. He would squirm around, open his eyes, then just lay there. So, after 10 minutes of this, I resorted to my usual morning tactics -- screaming/yelling at him to get up. Keep in mind that I WOH, so I am trying to get myself and my 1yo DD ready in the midst of all of this.<br><br>
It is horrible to start every single day feeling stressed out and guilty because my son's day is starting out bad, too. We are both either crying or nearly crying every day when we're walking out the door. I need help! Any suggestions are welcome.
 

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can you go into his bedroom 30-45 minutes before he needs to wake up and turn on a light or some music or something to help him transition?<br><br>
I am an extremly hard sleeper (sounds like he is too) and it is a lot more gentle and effective if I can be lulled out of sleep by outside stimuli like lights and sounds. So if you steadily escallate the stimuli in the room, he will be able to transition from hard sleep to being awake a lot easier, just basically give him more time without losing "waking up" progress.<br><br>
You could even get a clock radio alarm and set it to play music (some fairly inexpensive ones will even play CDs when the alarm goes off) at a reasonable volume (not trying to blast him out of bed).<br><br>
Basically set things up so that you can go into his room several times before he actually has to get up and every time you go into his room talk to him, but don't expect a response and leave the room more stimulating than it was...<br><br>
Turning on lights, opening windows, turning on radio, leaving the door open, putting food across the room from him, etc etc.<br><br>
heh for a while the only way I could get out of bed in the morning was to set the bread machine on a timer to start cooking an hour before I had to wake up... the fragrent bread would lull me downstairs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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My 1 yo just crawls all over my nearly 4 yo, hits her on the head, pulls her hair, throws toys at her until she gets up. It doesn't seem to bother her waking up this way. She always wakes up with a smile and likes to play with the baby.<br><br>
my dd has her own bed/bedroom but always comes and sleeps in a sleeping bag beside my bed in the morning.<br><br>
Can you send the baby in?
 

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what does your ds like to do? my dds love to have books read to them so we wake up a little extra early and read stories. sometimes if they're not awake i turn on the lights and just start reading in a VERY LOUD voice and usually by a page or two they'll wake up. if you do TV or videos you could plop him in front of the tv for 15 minutes or so instead of yelling at him. if he likes to play trains maybe you could start his train going for him. if he likes music maybe you could turn up the jams for him. you get the idea...
 

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yep... HOW??? I would like to know too!<br><br>
EVERY FREAKIN' MORNING is a fight w/ my 3 1/2 year old. If I don't hand feed him like a baby bird he will not eat anything... and I CANNOT send him to school without eating as I would get anxiety and guilt all day! So, there's 20 minutes out of my getting ready/out the door routine. I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I HAVE to do my little 20 minute yoga/exercise routine or I will be in pain all day. I have to do that w/ him ON ME (physically hjaning from me) ... and that's not relaxing or helpful. When I get in the shower he gets out ALL his toys.<br><br>
okay, I"m getting mad just thinking about it...
 

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My first thought is he getting enough sleep?? is he just really tired? Other wise I agree w/ the PP about finding something he likes and giving him a reason for getting up.<br><br>
The only things that works for us is routine, routine, routine and some incentive. Of course getting into one took some work.<br><br>
I wake up at 5:30 to work out and my husband and son stay in bed. After working out I get coffee made and breakfast for everyone and head up for a shower. Son and husband get up and go down stairs.<br><br>
While I shower my son picks out his clothes for the day (we have this awesome dragon type things that hold 3 complete outfits and he chooses form that). Once he is dressed, but not before, he can watch TV and that is his incentive. He eats breakfast while he watches. Once the show is over I am down and it shoes, coats and out the door for school and work.<br><br>
This only works because it is the same every single school day. No exceptions. My son also has a lot of control which I think helps. He gets to choose his own clothes and what to watch. He also knows that the faster he gets up and dressed the more TV he can watch. If there is more than 1 transformers TIVO'd he is so fast so he can hopefully watch 2.<br><br>
I also don't get into power struggles over food. Nothing can set the AM off on the wrong foot more than a power struggle. I make a healthy breakfast and that is it. I don't force, cajole, encourage. If he doesn't want it he can have a yogurt or breakfast bar in the car. I also don't struggle w/ hats, coats etc. If he won't put them on no biggy-I just put them in his bag.<br><br>
It wasn't easy getting into a regular routine and we had to tweak it along the way but now 9 times out 10 our morning go smoothly.
 

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ohhh...subbing...ds and i have very hard mornings....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:
 

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My 6 yo. is like this too. Last year was worse.<br><br>
I try to wake him up an hour before we need to leave. I have a hard time waking up in the morning too, so I feel a high degree of empahty for him! I tell him that he can lay in bed for 5 minutes if he wants to, but he needs to show me that he is awake and hearing me. I bustle around cleaning up, open the shades, leave his door open -- let dog in there, etc. -- In other words, I don't tip-toe, and I let him wake up to the natural noises of household functioning. Eventually, he wakes up and staggers into the bathroom to pee. Or I drag him up and steer him in that direction. I choose his clothes, and I carry them downstairs, and then I let him lay down again -- usually downstairs on the sofa, with me, and we snuggle for another 5 minutes. I talk to him about various things to try to peak his interest in waking to the day. While his breakfast is cooking, I dress him. I know its a little crazy to still be dressing my first grader, but I'd rather have a pleasant morning! So I just do it. He wears 2 peice jammies, so I am careful to do one peice at a time, replacing it with clothes for the day, so that he doesn't have to be all naked and cold. By the time I'm done, he's usually ready to sit with his breakfast. At that point -- I wander off and do my own thing, and leave him for the remaining 20-30 minutes to pick at his food.<br><br>
Very important rule that helps us: No television or videos in the morning! If the Tv goes on, then our day goes to hell, because I can't pry him away from it.
 

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Ah, the sleep issue---I would really recommend checking out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Sleepless in America</span>. It has made a huge, huge difference in our happiness! It's all about how most American children are actually sleep-deprived, lists the "symptoms" and gentle, practical and workable solutions.<br><br>
I am SO not a morning person, and I never have been--and prob. never will be <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It's just how I'm wired. I take great care the night before to get everyone's clothes out and food together to minimize struggles. I even put out cereal bowls and spoons on the table <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I anticipate some resistance, and I try really hard not to take it personally....and I also try and sing songs to help move things along. Anything to lighten the mood and keep things positive (as my oldest inherited my nightowlishness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">)
 

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I like to have everything ready the night before - outfits (even mine), bags (mine too), lunches, etc.<br><br>
We do baths the night before too. So, in the am - it's breakfast and getting dressed.<br><br>
We let ds watch TV while he eats breakfast (like a pp mentioned). He eats better this way than any other (isn't getting up constantly to get this toy or show us x,y AND z.)<br><br>
As far as getting up, I agree. Turn on the light, then go in and turn on some music, then go back in and tell him his fav cartoon (or whatever) is on (provided you allow TV.)<br><br>
GL mama! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My DD was like this too, from day one. I used to just dress her in her sleep and she would eventually wake up in the car. This was a mistake I am afraid as she never did learn how to wake herself (now 17 same problem). So my advice may not hold much water but you said you tried new tactics for one day.. if he is used to the current standard operating procedure, maybe he needs a few days in a row to break old habits?
 
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