[penstamon]

We're not quite there yet, but I am beginning to wonder what the next step is. My DH is coming around and understands my wish to hb and agrees with the switch. I discussed this with my OB a few days ago and happily she agreed that hb's are safe in 999/1000 births (estimated), of course there are emergency situations that arise. She was very sweet about understanding my reasons of not wanting to go to the hospital but she will not offer me shadow/backup care if I leave. I really wanted to keep her as my doc (and my LO's). She explained that since our hospital is so small and that she or her two backup OB's (both very good dr's) would be entirely in charge of our birth and that she could ensure that interventions would be minimal, if at all. She has agreed to everything I asked and will sign a birth plan stating that. I can meet with the backups and ensure they are on board too.

My issue now is: if I do switch, do I just throw away the relationship with this great OB/dr.? We live in a rural area and the chances of finding another clinic of like mind are slim to none. If I do leave her, is there some way I can convince her to keep me as a patient? I would feel much less certain about the switch if she wasn't so awesome about everything...

 

[dogmom327]

Not willing to be the back up for the birth isn't surprising because it may be a legal/liability issue for her but is she saying if you choose to do this she won't be willing to treat you or your family in the future?

 

[Beauchamp]

For the birth, she's saying she will not be able to provide care. That doesn't mean she can't see you post-birth for regular GYN visits. I'd clarify this with her.

I left my OB and her office was VERY rude about it and gave me an extremely hard time (about using a MW at all, I had not even mentioned HB) and when I questioned them, even they said she could still see me for paps, etc, later. I don't think they can legally turn you away forever just because you had a HB.

 

[nashvillemidwife]

Actually, they can legally discharge her from the practice for any reason they want as long as they continue to provide emergency care for 30 days. Providers have rights too.

But to answer the OP's question, it does not sound to me like your doctor is unreasonable. She has said she can't be backup for your birth, it doesn't sound like she's indicated that she can't continue to be your doctor outside of this scenario. Just ask her!

 

[penstamon]

Yes, I should have had her clarify before I left the appt. She had me agree to tour the hospital's birth center before I made a decision so it was kind of left at that. Does it make sense that I would be "allowed" to return to her for a u/s she wants me to have at 30w if I left her? What about blood tests that my midwife does not do?

I guess I really need to ask the midwives these questions, but I am sooo torn right now. I feel like both options are good and it is hard to discern which is the best. I think a lot of this stems from comfort/laziness with the status quo and a small fear of the unknown.

 

[Overthemoon]

I would ask her if she will see you later down the line as a regular gyn patient after you have the baby. It sounded like she just meant she can't offer you shadow care.
I am solely using a MW but I did see a perinatologist as there was testing I wanted to have done. I saw them 2 times. They asked if I wanted to come back each month with them or if I felt good going solely with my MW, so they gave me the option of having them as a back up if I wanted them.

For regular Gyn care I will be going to a local Gyn here in town as I don't want to have to drive to the city for regular check ups.

 

[Climbergirl]

Why does she even need to know? Not the best thing. What if you "accidently" homebirthed?

If you like her and want her to do shadow care, just go along for the ride for as long as possible....

 

[tracymom1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Climbergirl Why does she even need to know? Not the best thing. What if you "accidently" homebirthed? If you like her and want her to do shadow care, just go along for the ride for as long as possible....

This is kind of what I am doing. I am shadowing care with a hospital-based midwife group and will do so until delivery time. It gives me peace of mind because of my complicated pg history. They know I am thinking about a home birth but have no idea that it is my primary plan.

I am a nurse and worked for an Ob/gyn group and we had several patients home birth without our knowledge. Usually we would get a phone call a few days to a week after the birth letting us know about what happened. It was really no big deal. We never terminated any relationships because of it and always provided whatever postpartum services we could. If for whatever reason you would need emergency care during labor, just go to the hospital. There are always doctors on call who will take care of you. Talk to your doctor - I bet she is willing to continue your care for all but the home birth. Good luck and give us an update!

 

[penstamon]

I like this idea, mamas! We don't meet with the midwives for another week or two so I am staying with my OB at least until a decision is made. That's brilliant that she doesn't have to know that I planned the hb all along!

It is comforting to hear that there is only a slim chance she will boot me as a patient if I do leave for the birth.

The thought of hb is becoming so appealing...

 

[laralee16]

Just dont tell her. The medical community lies to us all the time, we can lie to them once in a while

 

[BethandLC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laralee16 Just dont tell her. The medical community lies to us all the time, we can lie to them once in a while

My sentiments exactly!
We are maintaining shadow care and planning a hb off the record.