How to proceed with separation anxiety?

485 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by 3timesamama, Apr 16, 2006

FlyingPigs

Discussion Starter · Apr 14, 2006

My DS, who is 18 months is having his first real bout of separation anxiety. He has always been a rather independent kid, so this is taking a while to get used to. We are almost always together, so it hasn't slowed us down too much except in one area. I like to go the Y to workout about 4 days a week and DS used to go to the childminding area. He seemed to not mind it so much in the past. Now however, he cries and clings if I try to drop him off there and even gets whiney and clingy if I suggest that we might go the Y later. I am only gone for about an hour, but lately when I come back, he has been crying and they have even had to page me to come get him once. So, for the past 2 weeks, I haven't taken him there at all, but I really miss my workouts. They are an essential part of my mental health, KWIM?
Some of my friends say I should just keep going as usual and not make a big deal of what he is going through, but I am not so sure.
Anyone have any advice on how to handle this?

Thanks,
Carrie

Oops, I just realized that I posted this in the wrong thread....so sorry!

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lilylove

· #2 · Apr 15, 2006

moved to Toddlers

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lisap

· #3 · Apr 15, 2006

DD has had a few bouts with seperation anxiety and I find that I have to help her through it and not ignore it. I reassure her and let her know that she is safe and sometimes she will go off on her own and sometimes she is so scared she panics if I'm not in her line of sight. She is 2 1/2 now and still feels anxiety when I leave her, but is comfortable wth someone she knows. Good luck to you!

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4evermom

· #4 · Apr 15, 2006

My ds started his separation anxiety at 4 months, so I had to figure out ways to incorporate him into my exercise, which really just amounts to really long walks (I'd jog if I were a jogger). It wasn't until 18 months that I could leave him with anyone for an hour. He's almost 5 now (and is happy to stay home with dh), but walking is my preference anyway and he still enjoys the ride. I always found that I could get a really good workout by playing very actively with ds. It doesn't have the same meditative quality that a solo workout has, but it gets the heartbeat up.

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starlein26

· #5 · Apr 16, 2006

I would take what he is trying to communicate with you seriously. I know it's easier said than done, but he doesn't want to be apart from you right now. Ds went through a phase like this around this age. It was really hard. I couldn't even leave the room to pee or he would cry. But, he did move through that. I was patient and loving and he outgrew it within a few months. Could you put him in the stroller to go on walks/runs with you outside? Good luck!

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LynnS6

· #6 · Apr 16, 2006

I think it's important to take this seriously - it's a relatively short phase, but it's not fun for him to be left for an hour where he's clearly unhappy.

Can you reschedule your workouts to do it when a family member can watch him? Trade with a friend? Rework them so that you're including him (jogging stroller comes to mind)?

Lynn

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3timesamama

· #7 · Apr 16, 2006

I understand how you feel. I cancelled my gym membership with my 3rd baby because I have a treadmill, but without the gym I just can't lose this last 10 pounds and I just don't feel like myself!

With my 2nd son I used to take him to the gym daycare and he was just like your son, cried to the point that they had to page me sometimes. So what I started doing was I would stay there in the kids area and watch him play until he was having enough fun that he was ok with me leaving. Sometimes it would take like 30 minutes, but at least I could work out without worrying about him.

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