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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The situation:<br><br>
I live with my father, who is generous enough to support my sister (away at uni) and me. I do household chores and a lot of crafting. I'm being treated for a personality disorder, and while my meds are awesome, there are still days when I can't make myself get out of bed until mid-afternoon. My goal in life is to be a SAHM, and my DP (completely supportive) is working on his financial situation to make that happen. It'll be about three years before we're ready to be out on our own. I tried uni twice, and hated it. Traditional education is not for me, and I have no interest in or need for getting a degree. I've had various retail jobs, all of which ended because of my disorder.<br><br>
The annoyance:<br><br>
I met my now-former dentist two years ago, and within two minutes he was telling me that I was wrong to want a family at my age (23 at the time). He went on for about five minutes, telling me to get a degree, get a job, and worry about a family in ten or fifteen years. He's not the only one who has given me this lecture, and I'm getting really sick of smiling, nodding, and rolling my eyes afterwards. I realize that I'm in the minority; that most of my peers have degrees and jobs. I could have sworn that the women's lib movement gave us the right to *choose*, not the obligation to work.<br><br>
So... any thoughts on how to deal with people who tell me I'm wrong? Part of me thinks smiling and nodding is good because it prevents an argument, but another part of me wants to tell them to f'k off. What do y'all think?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sharlla</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Thank you for your concern, but it's my life and not really any of your business what I do with it."</div>
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agreed. short sweet & to the point
 

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You don't have to do things you don't want to do for 10 or 15 years before starting a family. That would be a sad and stupid way to live.<br><br>
I think the short response was good.
 

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"Thank you for your input, we're totally comfortable with our decisions, isn't it a lovely day outside?"<br><br>
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I guess you didn't hear me, isn't it a lovely day outside?"<br><br>
"I just can't get over how pretty it is today!"<br><br>
Most people aren't dense enough to take the hint after a third repetition of some *other* subject besides the one you're being harangued over.<br><br>
However, some do need a bit of a nudge. "I'm sorry, I thought I made it clear I was done discussing this. Can we discuss something else please?"<br><br>
And so forth and so on. I hate hate hate being caught in the lecture chair myself, so I'm working on ways to be assertive without being rude. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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i'm all about the smile and nod. i think when i do that they get my real message anyway <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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"How would you like it if someone looked down their noses at you for choosing a career when you could ____? Perhaps you could consider that before you offer unsolicited advice, which, by the way, is not needed at all. I'm a thinking woman and have not made this decision/plan for my life lightly."<br><br>
I get offended when people decide that they need to tell me what to do with my life! How RUDE!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Smile and nod has my vote too.</td>
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Mine, too. I tend not to be confrontational with many (save it for the few <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ). If you can master a disinterested look, that may help, too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks mamas. Looks like I'll stick with smiling and nodding, much as I'd like to borrow Tori's rant. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Stupid people, expecting me to *want* to be a drone like them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Good for you. I'm not that nice. I actually say "Thank you for the suggestion, but it's not what I want to do," or "That's not the life I want," or even "Thank, but I think what I'm doing or planning is right for me" and if they don't shut up, I say "It was nice seeing you again" and I walk away.
 
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