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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone. I have been encountering a few close friends and family that are questioning how it is possible for a child to self-wean. I know that it's possible because I know people have done it, but I don't really know how to explain how it happens. One friend compared self-weaning to giving up M&M's on one's own, saying "why would I ever want to if I didn't have to". I kind of just responded by saying that I'm not sure how it happens, I just know it does.<br><br>
Secondly, these questions have made me doubt CLW-ing, at least as far as my daughter is concerned. She is just such an avid, frequent nurser that it just doesn't seem feasible that she'd self-wean. I mean I am committed to letting it happen, I'm just feeling that it's an impossibility (at times).<br><br>
Anyway, just wondered if others encountered this type of questioning or self-doubt and how you handle/respond to it.<br><br>
Thanks,<br>
Nicole<br>
Mom to Madi (9-29-03)
 

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I can tell you... my dd was a nurse aholic... she nursed every hour, on the hour until about 18, 19 months... then it went to 3-4 times a day... by 2 she was down to first thing in the morning and naptime... not even at bedtime anymore... and at not even 2 1/2, she's not nursed in almost a week <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and declines when I offer.<br><br>
They WILL wean when they are ready... sometimes they are ready before mama is.
 

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I don't know the best answer to other's doubts, I didn't know how to answer it myself, not having ever experienced it before. But now I think I will be able to say confidently, I don't have to wean my children, they know how to do it themselves perfectly well!<br><br>
My ds was a nearly constant nurser the first six months and did not go more than two hours without nursing during the day until past one year... tons of nursing in the second year too, and I thought he'd never slow down. I think it was around his second birthday that he finally dropped to about 5x a day... within a few months after that he quickly dropped a few more sessions and by the time he was approaching 3 he mainly nursed at bedtime, with a quick afternoon session here and there. So far he's held that one last feeding and asks for a quick nip during the day frequently (although it usually only lasts a moment or two). Now that he's decided it is fun to sleep in his own room instead of mine, he's skipping that last bedtime nursing. The nursling I once feared would never willingly choose to give up any nursing sessions at all, hasn't even realized that for the last two nights he did not nurse at bedtime!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
It's just so nice for me to hear stories about CLW. It keeps me going. DD will be 2 1/2 in a couple of weeks and she still nurses at least 3x in the night and several times a day depending on weather we are home or not. If we are home it's quite often and if we're out then she's busy and not thinking about it.<br><br>
Any one else have as old a child as me who was as frequent a nurser who self-weaned? (or at least slowed down). I just have moments where I just feel nursed out, if that makes any sense and somehow I feel the need to know there is an end in sight. I guess I've just been making myself crazy trying to decide if I want to attempt nightweaning. I've been thinking about it for probably 6 months at least. I keep feeling like I need to do it or she'll NEVER stop, but I can't get myself to do it. I wouldn't even attempt it if I wasn't sure I could follow it through, therefore, I haven't attempted.<br><br>
Anyway, thanks for listening. Any thoughts would be appreciated.<br><br>
Thanks,<br>
Nicole<br>
Mom to Madi (9-29-03)
 

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I usually ask the person grilling me how many children they've successfully nursed until at least age two, as the WHO recommends, and they leave me alone. My daughter will be 3 in June. Her nursing pattern this year has been erratic- frequent to nonexisting, depending on molars coming in, fevers threatening and the like. When she needed it, she upped the nursing. I have actively kept her nursling during dry spells, because I am due with # 2 in May and will need her help to avoid mastitis then, ha. Everyone just assumes she's weaned, but I tell anyone she's not.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nicklepic</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's just so nice for me to hear stories about CLW. It keeps me going. DD will be 2 1/2 in a couple of weeks and she still nurses at least 3x in the night and several times a day depending on weather we are home or not. If we are home it's quite often and if we're out then she's busy and not thinking about it.<br><br>
Any one else have as old a child as me who was as frequent a nurser who self-weaned? (or at least slowed down). I just have moments where I just feel nursed out, if that makes any sense and somehow I feel the need to know there is an end in sight. I guess I've just been making myself crazy trying to decide if I want to attempt nightweaning. I've been thinking about it for probably 6 months at least. I keep feeling like I need to do it or she'll NEVER stop, but I can't get myself to do it. I wouldn't even attempt it if I wasn't sure I could follow it through, therefore, I haven't attempted.</div>
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I didn't truly CLW with DD. When she was 25 months we partially nightweaned her to one 4-5 hour break (so she woudl nurse at 9pm, 11pm, then not til 3-4am, then again as much as she wanted). She went down from there. We had several limits in place when DS was born. SO, not true CLW. But, she was allowed to nurse, even during the night, until she stopped. She decided she was done at 50 months (though she tried several times in the next 18 months).<br><br>
DS nursed MUCH more than that at 2.5 (every 1-2 hours at night, then during the day too). Now, at 4.5 he is down to 1-4 X most days (generally to bed, once during the night, at wake up and then sometimes once during the day--- I would say usually 2-3times). I can see the progress quite clearly when I look at trends over seasons or years!
 

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Ds was an avid nursing toddler! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> He weaned a little past 5.75 years, but after turning 5, he would often go weeks at a time between nursings.
 

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I remember thinking she'd never slow down and she'd never stop.<br>
But then she did.<br><br>
The book How Weaning Happens is good.<br><br>
"I can see the progress quite clearly when I look at trends over seasons or years!"<br><br>
exactly!!!!
 

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My 3 yr. old still nurses frequently, day and night- nearly as often as my EBF 3 mo. old. I know he will self-wean, because what teenager wants to nurse?! But I don't think it'll be anytime soon. The only people I know IRL who have nursed long-term, mama-led weaned their kids at 5. Some other friends have had less dedicated nursers "self-wean" at 1 or 2.<br>
Would YOU want to nurse, if your mom offered? I don't think so.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nicklepic</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">One friend compared self-weaning to giving up M&M's on one's own, saying "why would I ever want to if I didn't have to".</div>
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At least she has the right attitude about how great bm is. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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my DD is about the same age as yours- 12/03/03 and she is also an avid nurser.<br><br>
Here are some responses that i have given...<br><br>
"When you quite smoking, then you can talk to me about her "Jug Juice" addiction...<br><br>
"Never wean? That's silly, that's like saying that if we let a kid wear diapers, they will never want to use the toilet!"<br><br>
That's like saying that if we let a child sleep in a crib, they will never want to sleep in a regular bed...<br><br>
That's like saying that if we let a child ride in a sling/swing/stroller, or carry them, they will never want to walk....<br><br><br>
My point is that kids all do things at different times and my view on AP is that it is about what is best for teh child at that moment.<br><br>
Also, as I often had to say about DD when she was first nursing and would comfort nurse for HOURS on end... It's not all about the MILK! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Good luck!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">"Never wean? that's like saying that if we let a kid wear diapers, they will never want to use the toilet!"<br><br>
That's like saying that if we let a child sleep in a crib, they will never want to sleep in a regular bed...<br><br>
That's like saying that if we let a child ride in a sling/swing/stroller, or carry them, they will never want to walk....</td>
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Exactly.<br><br>
In my experience, what happens is that they find they need to ask less and less often, eventually going for days between "needs".<br><br>
DD has gone from declaring that she was going to nurse until she turned 8 to recently telling me "I guess I need it less." DS wasn't verbal about nursing at all, other than when asking, but over time he nursed less and less until one day it'd been so long he'd forgotten how. He didn't find that moment as funny as I did.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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The M&M analogy is really silly.<br><br>
Nursing is a bilogical process, which changes as the child grows. For example, babies start out by crawling, then walking, then running... it's a natural progression. Nobody usually stops to ask 'How does that happen' - it's an integral part of growing and maturing. Same with nursing. As the child's physiology changes, they slowly lose the need and desire to nurse, and turn to other food sources instead. They also often lose the ability to suckle/ form a correct latch when they are biologically and physiologically ready to wean according to their own unique time-table.
 

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Do M and M's provide<br>
calcium,<br>
vitamins,<br>
immune system protection,<br>
ideal growth of the human brain/bones/immune system,<br>
protein,<br>
heart-healthy and brain-building "good fats"?<br><br>
Nursing your child does.
 

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It must be this THREAD that's freezing! LOL!
 

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Ok, the way self weaning works is this:<br><br>
when you fill a need, it goes away. See? If you are hungry (need to eat) then you eat (fill the need) then you are full (no more need to eat, well, till next time you are hungry). Ok, let me try this. If you outgrow your clothes (need new clothes) then you go buy some bigger ones (fill the need) then you are done (no more need of new clothes).<br><br>
Trust me, ds1 selfweaned just before one year. DD is almost three and had you asked me even two months ago, I just couldnt see how such a boobie addicted kid would ever wean, but she already turns it down often, asks for it less and even occasionally goes to sleep on her own without it.<br><br>
Just like when you hold your clingy babe in arms until eventually, that child become MORE independant rather than less because you filled that need when he/she had it, therefore giving that child security and letting them venture out. Eventually, he/she doesnt need to be held 24/7 only because you gave that to him/her when it was needed. Yes?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Girl Named Sandoz</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Nursing is a bilogical process, which changes as the child grows. For example, babies start out by crawling, then walking, then running... it's a natural progression. Nobody usually stops to ask 'How does that happen' - it's an integral part of growing and maturing. .</div>
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i love this, thank you. i've been totally overthinking things and this helps.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 
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