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A new neighbor in our area is going to be a team captain for the Relay For Life in June in our small town. She is a breast cancer survivor.<br><br>
She called me the other day to ask us to attend a meeting about the race this past weekend. As dh was to be recovering from kidney stone blasting, I told her we couldn't attend. She gave her sympathies to dh and said she'd drop the information by our house this week.<br><br>
For a variety of reasons, we do not wish to be involved with this event. I applaud her desire to support a charity of her choice. But, I don't like being pressured by friends/family/neighbors to support/buy/donate to activities/charities. Dh & I prefer to keep the charities to which we donate personal. We don't go asking people to support our choices (I don't call and ask that <span style="text-decoration:underline;">they</span> donate to Nature Conservancy, for example!).<br><br>
Sigh, it's bad enough when we get hit with the school fundraisers and the little kids asking for money (again, we homeschool and don't solicit funding from anyone for ds's activities). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Dh said to tell her we'll be gone on vacation during the timing of the local race and to offer her a donation instead. But, we do not donate to the American Cancer Society. I don't want to give money to a charity we don't support, just to keep things happy with a neighbor.<br><br>
To say we don't support the ACS/Relay For Life makes us look like bad people that don't care about cancer and its victims & survivors. Trust me, we DO have feelings about cancer. My darling mil died from aggressive lung cancer, my fil beat prostate cancer and my bil is a Hodgkins survivor. We have many friends that have survived it (and, sadly, a few that haven't). We choose to support cancer victims with direct help to them (financial, physical and emotional), rather than a large organization, and have done this many times.<br><br>
Any suggestions as to kindly tell her we're not willing to be involved??
 

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Oh, I can feel for you. It's so not popular, but I feel the same way as you. Well, I don't know the details of your feelings but medical charities are, shall we say, not my priority. But that makes us look pretty unfeeling, eh?<br><br>
I think I would just tell her you are kind of stretched thin right now, but offer her sincere well wishes for her efforts. I'd just repeat that you are stretched thin, as needed - that covers your time, money and mental space.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ChristyMarie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367032"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Oh I'm sorry but all of our charity dollars are already spoken for this year. I wish you luck in the race!"</div>
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ITA. I use a similar phrasing all the time.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>grahamsmom98</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367011"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We have many friends that have survived it (and, sadly, a few that haven't). We choose to support cancer victims with direct help to them (financial, physical and emotional), rather than a large organization, and have done this many times.</div>
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Say that. Maybe "many friends and family." And you could add something like, "I hope the relay goes really well."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>christymarie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367032"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"oh i'm sorry but all of our charity dollars are already spoken for this year. I wish you luck in the race!"</div>
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ita!
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ChristyMarie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367032"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Oh I'm sorry but all of our charity dollars are already spoken for this year. I wish you luck in the race!"</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
actually, if asked, i would just say, "no, thank you!" and if asked why not, i would say the thing about our charity dollars being spoken for. there's nothing wrong with just saying no, as long as you're polite about it.<br><br>
christina
 

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I have a similar issue with my BIL - he's really into the marathons and other running/cycling events for cancer, and they send the sponsorship requests out all the time as well as talk about it a lot. I think it's GREAT that he's in such excellent shape and puts so much into training for these events, but for philosophical reasons, DH and I do not monetarily support those organizations. We haven't actually said anything directly, we just ignore the e-mail requests and try to be verbally supportive when the subject comes up about his accomplishments - not the actual fund raising events.<br><br>
It's so difficult because it seems as though society in general thinks that if you don't support (specifically) cancer organizations, you are selfish or uncaring.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ChristyMarie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367032"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Oh I'm sorry but all of our charity dollars are already spoken for this year. I wish you luck in the race!"</div>
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This what I always say.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Tizzy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367173"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><b>It's so difficult because it seems as though society in general thinks that if you don't support (specifically) cancer organizations, you are selfish or uncaring.</b></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> And every single store I go to asks for money (or so it seems). I remember buying $100 of silly toys at Toys R Us and getting a funny look when I declined to give money to Autism Speaks (a charity I dont support <i>at all</i>). They were totally judging me!!!!!!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lafemmedesfemmes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367107"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
actually, if asked, i would just say, "no, thank you!" and if asked why not, i would say the thing about our charity dollars being spoken for. there's nothing wrong with just saying no, as long as you're polite about it.<br><br>
christina</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lafemmedesfemmes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15367107"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
actually, if asked, i would just say, "no, thank you!" and if asked why not, i would say the thing about our charity dollars being spoken for. there's nothing wrong with just saying no, as long as you're polite about it.<br><br>
christina</div>
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I agree with this.
 
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