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DD is 28 months (and well over 30 lb) and I'm 6 months pregnant with SPD. My chiro has advised me to really try to avoid picking DD up/ carrying her. I know on the days when I do end up lifting her too much I really suffer for it, painwise.<br><br>
The problem of course is that DD is 2. I was doing okay accepting that, and accepting that I would have to physically intervene in order to keep her safe and set limits. But since almost all of that involves literally picking her up and removing her from a situation, or 'helping' her to do what I need her to do - I'm kind of at a loss now.<br><br>
For example, we often have bedtime battles. She's tired/overtired and doesn't want to co-operate. After trying all the GD tricks I know, like making it into a game, reasoning with her, warning her that we're running out of time to read all the books she wants to read, etc. well I used to just simply say "If you can't work with mama, mama will have to help you to do what I'm asking." And then physically lift her up to get her into her PJs or bring her to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I've never been a huge fan of doing this, but I feel that I need to have set limits in place, so that she knows where she stands.<br><br>
But now, of course, she's running roughshod all over me, because she knows it hurts me to have to pick her up/physically restrain her, and I feel like I'm not being at all consistent and basically being a wishy-washy permissive parent - sadly begging her to do what I ask, while not actually *doing* anything to help her to stop.<br><br>
It's not just a bedtime thing either - it's all day long. She's two, and she's very active and bright - but she has a tendency to bolt. I've taken to using the pushchair again for walks/shopping as I just can't run after her and pick her up when she runs away from me in the shop. At home, she'll make a mess and I'll ask her to come wash her hands - she'll run away and start smearing yogurt all over everything in the house. She'll try climbing on the counters. (We can't baby-proof terribly well because we're in a rented house, which is also quite old).<br><br>
I pick my battles, but even then I find myself up against 20-30 scenarios a day where the easiest/simplest thing to do would be to simply physically pick her up and move her or redirect her to something else. And I just can't do it anymore. Help!!
 

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Oh Mama! I couldn't read and not reply, though I don't have any great advice. I had pretty bad SPD when pregnant, and I just cannot imagine dealing with that while chasing around a toddler. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s<br><br>
Do you have anyone you could ask for help? Dp? A friend? Family? I guess the good part is that the SPD will get better soon so you just have to hang in there for a couple more months.<br><br>
Have you tried some kind of bribery? I know bribing is not the best method of discipline, but a couple months of a little bribing could make your life a little easier. Like explain to her that Mommy can't pick her up or help her do things (which it seems like she already knows) and that since she is going to be a big sister she gets to start doing more things on her own and helping Mommy. Maybe say: "Okay, if you can brush your teeth before the timer goes off you get a sticker!" Or something? I don't know. She sounds like she is trying to assert her independence and maybe you could play off of that by talking about how big sisters brush their teeth without a fuss, etc? You could even do a treat if she gets a certain number of stickers.<br><br>
Really, this is probably a hard time for her too since you aren't able to give her the guidance she is used to and she probably deserves a sticker.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Maybe...<br><br>
Tooth brushing happens 'wherever' in the house. Bring a cup of water to rinse and a vessel to spit in. The pyjamas go on in the kitchen, in the floor, if that's where you happen to corral her.<br><br>
Maybe eat the messy foods in a confined area? I don't mean stick her in the hall closet to eat her yogurt<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> but if you can pen her in to one area of the house, then clean up is easier.<br><br>
You guys normal habits and routine is maybe going to have to get creative for both your sanity.<br><br>
I know these are just a few of your examples but maybe you can extrapolate it to other issues you're having and at least minimise the lifting?<br><br>
Edited for PC'ness.
 

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I don't really have much advice for you (other than maybe working towards a more solid routine for everyday things), I wanted to comment on the SPD.<br><br>
I had it SO BADLY with this pregnancy that walking was literally almost impossible (I would often have to hang on to walls just to get from the couch to the kitchen table). My daughter is almost 20 months and 25 lbs, and VERY high needs.<br><br>
Chiropractic care has GREATLY helped me with the pain, almost to the point where some days I almost feel normal! I highly suggest this for you, especially once you get closer to the end of your pregnancy (during the "beached whale" phase).
 

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Try making bedtime earlier to avoid the overtired phase and hopefully she can settle down quicker. I second the other person on chiro care if you haven't tried it already. Could you at least toddler proof say 2 rooms where she could play freely?
 

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My DD Just turned 2 and i think they're twins. Either that or this is typical 2-year-old behavior. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> She wears me out. LOL. I'm 20 weeks with #2 and am starting SPD, so I can totally relate (had it with DD, the only thing I think that's a consolation at this point is I know it goes away after birth!).<br><br>
Does she understand language well? The reason I'm asking is my mom (grandma) was here last week and Madi was being particularly difficult. Grandma talked to Madi about cooperation. She was crying when she didn't get her way about little things (underwear, socks, going on a walk, etc). My mom said something like "Madi, you need to cooperate with mommy. Cooperation means working together to make something happen. When you don't cooperate, it makes mommy (and grandma and daddy) upset." When she's NOT cooperating, we talk about what that means a little bit and the situation improves.<br><br>
Also. . .remember than any question like "Do you want to (blank)?" Can (and usually will!) be answered with a "no". So, switch it around to "DD, we're going to ___". Say "I want/need you to brush your teeth". Don't ask, that's the most important thing I've learned in my professional experience with kiddos. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Give choices, have her pick 3 books to read and then tell her after that, the lights go out and we go to bed. Also, the more you talk ahead about what you're going to do next, the better. So, for instance saying we're going to play right now and then we're going to take a bath. In the bath, say we're going to take the bath and then go read a book. You will be able to choose from 3.<br><br>
My DD knows that if she's not behaving and I start counting 1-2-3, if she does not do as she's told I will help her do it (such as getting in a car, buckling a safety belt, putting on a diaper). I don't use restraint, but it helps her understand that I really mean what I'm asking, and it gets her attention.<br><br>
Hope that helps a little, LMK if you have questions!
 
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