Mothering Forum banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,827 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am struggling to set up a support network. I am not sure how to. I think people are weirded out by my mood swings-one week I am happy and high functioning, and the next week I can hardly get off the couch or feed myself. I dont usually tell people this-but I have griped/bragged about cleaning.<br><br>
So here is my experience-ppl seem to have a good time with me, and we have playdates or whatever, but if I dont call them, they arent going to call me either. No one ever takes the time to call me and see how I am doing, chat, set up a playdate, etc. I am so discouraged. This has been the case with friends since as long as I can remember. ??? I am really not mean or alienating or anything. I have taken a good look at myself but I have to stop blaming myself.<br><br>
It seems like my church requires a membership before they will support you. I am not going to join because we have some different ideas spiritually, and I just keep up with going every now and then to network. I dont have the energy to go to church 5 days a week, like most of the other members do. I can hardly feed myself!!!<br><br>
I have gotten so seriously depressed so fast in the last 2 days and I just get more depressed thinking about how it seems like no one cares.<br><br>
My dh is trying to give me space, and I cant talk to him anyways because the kids are ALWAYS there. by the time we are done fighting with ds 4 to go to bed at night, its 10:00 and I can hardly keep my eyes open.<br><br>
How do you set up a network of support if you dont have any friends and seem to lack the ability to make them?<br><br>
I havent called any of my friends in 2 weeks because I have been so busy/overwhelmed/depressed, and guesss what-they havent called me either. (There are probably about 10 of them that could have)<br><br>
Jenny
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,277 Posts
I think the lack of social interaction is a huge part of depression for moms. I don't have too much advice except maybe you should get a regular thing going with some friends. Also- I have gotten paranoid in the past that someone didn't "like" me only to realilze later that they were shy and couldn't make the step to call.((((hugs)))
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
411 Posts
Is there a NAMI group in your area? I think that would be a good way to develop a network of people who understand what you're going through.<br><br>
I know we participated in a NAMI walk in our area and it seemed that many of the people involved were in fact a very close network.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
140 Posts
For me I had to "fake it till you make it" to get a network of friends going. I tried to nail people down into a regular weekly playgroup and offered to host the first one. After that we met at other people's houses or in parks. It sucked in the beginning and not all the mamas and I truly connect with each other but it worked. I have made two really great friends, 2 really good friends and 2 plain friends. If you can find it in yourself during a more active period it might be worth it to just pretend you are the really organized mommy and try to bring some mamas together. In the end if it works all the credit goes to you for starting it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I don't know if that helps but I wanted to say it. I also want to say that I have been in your position and you are not the only one. I hope you can start to get the support you need. Good luck.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top