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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I finally broke down and told her about my ppd (i was not on meds at that point-- I am now, zoloft, and so glad i am) and that I thought I needed some help with meds. (at that point I had tried natural remedies that worked great for a short period-- 1 month-- and then I crashed again). she proceeded to tell me that "Vanessa, we all get depressed" and that meds aren't the only answer. For me, they were. I was in a very bad place and had put off meds for SIX MONTHS. I wish I had taken them sooner b/c I was literally just barely surviving day by day.

"Uuuummm, **&%$ you!" is what I wanted to say

I don't remember what I said but all I could think was "you can open your big mouth when you've hated your baby and wanted to push the stroller into oncoming traffic or throw him against the wall to stop him from crying or wanted to kill yourself b/c you just knew your baby would be better off without this crazy "mother" or wanted to smother him with a pillow to stop all the madness.

My DP was PISSED that she said all that to me and I haven;t spoken to her since.

So, what I want is to educate her about ppd and tell her that YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND PPD UNTIL YOU HAVE BEEN CLINICALLY DEPRESSED (we're not talking "bummed out" or "blue") and that I haven't spoken to her in months because i was really hurt.

I'm looking for advice on how to approach her-- b/c I am afraid that my emotions will take over she won't truly understand how hurtful her comments/opinions are.

Should I give her stats on ppd? resources? how do I convey what a serious and debilitating illness this is?

Thanks for listening, gotta run, baby is cryign at my feet.....

--Vanessa

I haven't spoken to her since we had this conversation.
 

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Honestly, I don't know if you can change someone who has already made her mind up. It is obvious she hurt you deeply. Maybe just tell her that what she said about PPD really hurt you and you need some time apart.

She does not sound supportive but truly, nobody can understand depression (PPD or otherwise) unless they've REALLY been there...and I don't think she has. ((HUGS))
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
thanks. yea she hasn't been there. for sure.

i know what you mean about changing someone's mind, but maybe I can just aim to educate. I mean, perhaps she just doesn't have the information or education. Maybe if only she knew a little (and realized how little she does know), then she wouldn't have such black or white opinions on the subject

who knows, but thanks for the reply
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by vanessab23 View Post
I don't remember what I said but all I could think was "you can open your big mouth when you've hated your baby and wanted to push the stroller into oncoming traffic or throw him against the wall to stop him from crying or wanted to kill yourself b/c you just knew your baby would be better off without this crazy "mother" or wanted to smother him with a pillow to stop all the madness.
Add "and I don't think I can be friends with you until you've actually read about ppd, let my dp know if you want some resources."
 

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I would just tell her what you were thinking at the time. I don't think reading about PPD or learning statistics about it make much of a difference.

My old boyfriend suffers from horrid depression. His family sort of knows, but occasionally it just comes out, like when his mother was trying to make plans with his daughter's mother and couldn't understand why he was not happy about it and he just yelled that every single day he wants to kill himself.

I think if you just say what you were feeling that would have a huge impact on her. It certainly had one on me.
 
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