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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi mamas,

I am looking to wean my 5 year old. I am still nursing her 7 mos old sister though, and kinda not sure how to go about weaning one and nursing the other. Anyone do this? How did you explain it? How do you actually *do* it? My big kid is not going to be thrilled.
But I feel like it's time.

Any stories/suggestions/ideas would be very helpful.

And like, when you nurse this long, shouldn't the little buggers wean themselves? I didn't think it would be this hard.
 

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Originally Posted by thismama View Post
And like, when you nurse this long, shouldn't the little buggers wean themselves? I didn't think it would be this hard.
I don't have any useful suggestions, but yes, I agree, dadgummit! My 5 year old did actually wean herself, but I think with an older sister rather than a younger one, that makes a difference. Is she showing any signs of slowing down at all?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah, not so much with the slowing down. She nurses morning and night, and often asks also during the night and up to 3ish times/day. It's kinda crazy. I'm thinking to eliminate all night nursing (we cosleep and often I dont even really notice), and day nursing, and stick with morning and bedtime only for a bit as she is most attached to those times.

Maybe? And then how to cut out those ones too?
 

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I'd talk about it a LOT and drop one nursing at a time.

Would you be willing to keep one nursing a day if she seems to still need it?

Mine's never gonna wean either..
I feel your pain.

-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well it's kinda like, when's it gonna end, yk? I totally thought she would have self weaned by or around now. At this point I cant ever see her weaning voluntarily, and I've heard the 'oh a year changes everything' ever since she was like 2 and that has not been the case. Also heard 'she wont graduate high school nursing' and I'm not so convinced at this point.
It's like, I feel it's developmentally time for her to move on, yk?

eta - She is a bit of an odd kid, has some OCD/anxiety issues (no actual reason for anxiety in her life tho), and the therapist we have seen has said to help her learn to tolerate tension. She does not want to move on from baby things I notice, or control her desires for things, if that makes sense. Cosleeping and nursing are still full on around here, and she would eat sugar all day long if I let her, way more than most kids. She is skinny as a noodle and super picky about food apart from sugar. She's just a bit... odd... hard to translate it on a message board really but I'm feeling like it's time to be done the nursing, time to give her a little push in that department. Coz I seriously don't see her ever weaning on her own at this point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
On and on I go... the thing is, the sisters have some really adorable nursing rituals, like handholding etc. It's gonna suck to wean my big girl on that front. I want to frame it well for her, like baby sis is still nursing coz she is small, you are big, when she is big she will wean too. That kind of thing...
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I get it. I go back and forth. One day I'm ready for her to be DONE... the next she obviously still needs it...

-Angela
LOL! Yeah. She is still really into it, mine. I'm ready to be done, although I will miss it. I feel it's time, but really I wish it was her decision, at this time. Not her decision in 3 years.
 

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I don't exactly remember when my 7yo weaned because we did it so gradually. I am thinking it was around 4 or 5. I honestly didn't think it would ever happen. Of course, last year when she was 6, she got sick and I couldn't think of anything else to help her so I let her nurse and it did the trick.

One of the things I did was ask her to wait until her sister was done nursing. It was kind of difficult to have a 1 yo and a 4 yo on my lap at the same time so I made the older one wait until the little one was finished.

We also talked about it A LOT and I followed her cues. There were days where she could go all day without it and on those days, I just wouldn't offer or I would put her off by asking her if she could wait until I was done doing other stuff. Then, there were other days where I knew she couldn't cope without it. On those days, she got it as often as she wanted. When her sister got big enough for the two of them to play together, neither of them nursed as much because they were too busy playing together. I found distractions to be a good thing.
 

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Does she really eat a lot of sugar? I would say get her off the sugar and onto more filling, nutritious foods (proteins, good fats, veggies) before weaning. She may still be nursing to get all the good nutrition she doesn't get by eating sugar and being picky about other foods.

Super pickiness in food is often linked to wheat and/or dairy sensitivities. Does she always gravitate towards wheat foods? These sensitivities can also sometimes exacerbate behavioral problems like OCD, ADHD, etc.

Or if you absolutely can't stand to go on nursing, then maybe do a food makeover along with the weaning?

I weaned my 4 yr-old after his 18 mth-old sister weaned herself. I just couldn't see continuing to nurse him after she had stopped. Luckily, it all coincided with my getting a pretty severe cold and my milk just wasn't coming in as well. So I told him I was too sick to nurse, and then I told him the illness had dried up my milk (which it sort of had, though I helped it along by not nursing...)

So I guess I just sort of had a perfect weaning storm. I'm sorry I don't have better advice for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
No she doesn't eat a lot of sugar. I'm just saying she would if she could, yk? Like certain things she never has enough of. Sugar is one, nursing is another. I don't think it's nutrition related coz she didn't quit nursing when I had no milk when I was pg. I mentioned it more to point out her personality, her daddy says she is an addict and will probably be shooting up at 15.


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he couldn't cope without it. On those days, she got it as often as she wanted. When her sister got big enough for the two of them to play together, neither of them nursed as much because they were too busy playing together.
Aww!! What age was the lil sis, do you remember, when that happened? Mine love each other so much, I can't wait til they can play together. They already do kinda but my babe is still wee.

Weaning is hard.
 

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Originally Posted by thismama View Post
Aww!! What age was the lil sis, do you remember, when that happened? Mine love each other so much, I can't wait til they can play together. They already do kinda but my babe is still wee.
I think it was when lil sis started walking, which was around one. I know by 18 months the two of them were playing quite well together. I can't remember specifically but I know they had both pretty much stopped by the time #3 came along when oldest was almost 6 and #2 was almost 3. My second DD was never as interested in nursing as her big sister. My oldest was an addict and I didn't think she would EVER stop. She was the kind of baby that would nurse every half hour and hated being separated from her mommy drinks. When #3 was born and my milk came in full force, my oldest wanted to try to nurse again. She had forgotten so I ended up expressing milk for her to drink in a cup. I suspect that when my milk comes in full force again with #4 I will have to express some milk for them.

There is hope. They do wean eventually.
 

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So saying she is a bit odd makes me wonder what kind of therapy you are in? OT has helped us so so so much with life in general and nursing. Maybe something to look into if you aren't doing it already.
 
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