Mothering Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,032 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 3 week old but am curious about all ages of babies and all methods of enforcing a bedtime or nighttime routine. Obviously we're a little young to be doing any kind of schedule here (and I'm not looking for sleep training advice, really) but she seems to have a natural one: bedtime between 9-10pm, a few night feedings, then up between 5-6am.<br>
We encourage her bedtime by changing her, swaddling her, nursing her, and then rocking and shhhhhing her until she falls asleep. Then we put her in the cosleeper and hope it takes - last night this took about 2.5 hours but sometimes it's only about 30 minutes.<br>
Both DH and I are pretty crummy sleepers with long histories of insomnia, but sleep and good rest is really important to me, so I'm hoping we can do all we can to make bedtime a pleasant, consistent experience. I wonder if anyone has advice for me on how to help this little one fall asleep now and throughout her life? Good nighttime habits and routines are probably key, and we do that by having the white noise machine, a calm and low lit bedroom environment, etc., but she will only fall asleep when nursing and even then I see her struggle against letting go and going into a deep sleep.<br>
Again, she is only a few weeks old, I"m just kind of thinking ahead. Maybe all newborns have trouble falling asleep, this is my first so I'm clueless! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Most nights we are able to be really patient but when I am exhausted and my back is giving out and ALL I want is to fall to sleep but she won't let me put her down... it's hard.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,617 Posts
nothing unusual here. we just always have a mini-routine. sleepsack, swaddle, nurse, bedtime prayer and done. also the key for us was at nighttime all wake-ups were "down-to-business" style. i would nurse her but no talking, no smiling, no cooing....basically at night there was no "making friends." i really think that b/c of this we've never had an issue with going back to sleep at night. she's never thought to start playing at 3am, yk? it was tough too at that age where she started really smiling and cooing and she would look up at me and do something just super cute and i'd have to try so so hard not to laugh.<br><br>
i really think it works. the couple times my dh has gotten up with her i've sat by and let him do his thing and he would always talk to her and fail miserably.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,617 Posts
oh and that "routine" thing...it's a long-term payoff type thing. it's not like putting her to bed at 3 weeks was easy. man, i remember it being tough and i was forced to co-sleep for a while. but it gets easier and she knows that pajamas means bedtime.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,001 Posts
Until DD was older, bedtime was by-any-means-necessary. We tried instituting a "routine" of bath, book, nurse, bed very early, but it was more trouble than it was worth at that point. Her timing wasn't settled enough to guarentee that she'd be tired enough to sleep at the end of it.<br><br>
So we waited until she found her own rhythm, then slowly put in pieces of what our final routine ended up being. At first it was just nursing to sleep. Then it was bath -> nurse -> sleep. Then bath -> book -> nurse -> sleep. I'd say that routine wasn't fully in place until she was 1 or so, but it's hard-wired now (at 3).<br><br>
With new DS (at 6 weeks) we're still in by-any-means-necessary. Our witching-hour calming tricks (walks outside, lots of nursing attempts) slowly turn into bedtime signals (lowering the lights, turning down [or off] the TV, rocking in the chair). When he falls asleep, he goes to bed. Once his timing is more consistent, we'll start putting pieces of his bedtime routine into place just before we know he's likely to fall asleep. Then, ideally, everything will start to reinforce itself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,103 Posts
Our little guy is 9.5 weeks old and our 'routine' has been this lately. Feeding, quick warm bath, jammies, swaddle and he's passed out. This usually happens around 6:30/7. He's normally sound asleep by 8 and then we him in his crib. He's STTN once but his normal feeding schedule is midnight or 1am and then again at 5am.<br><br>
Schedules aren't really noticed moreso until they are around 3 months old.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,064 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ann_of_loxley</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15390906"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">we just all go to bed together. ds who is 4 goes to bed with us or before if he is tired.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
177 Posts
FWIW, I think a big part of sleep success when they're small is about the baby, not the parenting. Some babies are easy to put down, others are more difficult. Do whatever routine makes you feel good but don't beat yourself up and make yourself crazy if it doesn't seem to be working. More than one person has told me they thought their parenting was the reason for X trait of their baby (baby sleeping well, baby eating well, etc...), until they had a second baby.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
177 Posts
I realized I didn't answer the question. Sorry, didn't mean to be annoying. We swaddled in the beginning and still nurse to sleep.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
155 Posts
We have the same routine for bedtime as naps. We turn on the white noise and nurse and rock (in the big comfy rocking chair <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) at three weeks he slept next to our bed in a basinet, but starting around 5 or 6 weeks I gave up putting him down and he slept (on) with me in bed. Now we still co-sleep but he sleeps next to me, not on me anymore. I don't think we had a consistent 'night time' until about 6 months, but it still varries (between 7:30 and 9 pm). We all just go with the flow....<br>
Oh, and at 3 weeks our routine was: nurse and rock, then walk until the 'limp limb', then swaddle, then put down... 2 hours later, repeat....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
130 Posts
When our son was that age, he would normally nurse to sleep in the living room, then sleep on my or my husband's chest (while we watched TV, etc.) until we all went to bed. Now, at 9.5 months (he is our first, so I can't talk about "long-term" success/effects yet), we watch his cues, and when he is clearly getting tired, usually his dad changes his diaper and puts him in PJs, then I lay down with him in our bed and nurse him to sleep. Depending on what time it is, I may leave him asleep there and get back up for a while, or we all just go to bed. We have been lucky that he usually goes back to sleep fairly quickly when he wakes up at night (after nursing or a snuggle). He often wakes up before we are ready to get up, so I keep some books and toys nearby that he can play with in bed with us while we get a little more rest (not quite sleep). His "bedtime" usually depends on whether he had one or two naps that day and what time/how long they were. We don't do a daily bath because we don't want to dry out his (already sensitive) skin, and he thinks bath time is playtime (no calming effect there) anyway.<br><br>
I should add that he has definitely had periods where he fights sleep (though this has gotten better), and trying to mold his behavior to when we think he should go to bed would not go well at all (hence, watching his cues).<br><br>
There have been periods where he needed to be walked around in the sling or mei tai in the evenings and would cry if I tried to lay him down (even if I was right there with him offering to nurse). I agree with the poster who said a lot depends on the baby's personality.<br><br>
Good luck and enjoy your baby!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,032 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Icehockey18</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15392265"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh, and at 3 weeks our routine was: nurse and rock, then walk until the 'limp limb', then swaddle, then put down... 2 hours later, repeat....</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Ugh, this is where we are now, and it's not really working anymore... I think she's already rejecting being swaddled <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
285 Posts
I'm on my second. We have been co-sleeping since day 0. It didn't work out with my first for a ton of reasons. But in retrospect, I wish I had tried harder.<br><br>
With the cosleeping now, he has developed his own routine all by his baby-self. He clusterfeeds, then gets fussy at the breast between 7 and 8. Once he starts popping off both sides repeatedly, I put him on my shoulder and shush him until he stops fussing or quiets down. If he falls asleep, then we go to sleep together. He will wake up within minutes if I am not around, so I have to go to sleep when he does.<br><br>
I think I read an article somewhere about how mom and baby synchronize their sleep schedule and enter lighter stages of sleep so they can respond to each other's arousals. I believe it, I see it every night.<br><br>
So in short, we have no routine, I just follow his lead. Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,674 Posts
I pretty much let the baby lead as well. Ds 1 always went to sleep when we did, we co-slept. But often he'd nurse on the couch and fall asleep and I'd hold him until we went to bed.<br><br>
This baby (ds 2) has his own sleep plan, usually starting at about 6:30 (a little later now with it staying light later). He gets fussy and needs to nurse, he needs it quiet and dark, and for the first couple of months he would generally cry a bit to sleep most nights. Starting at about 4 months he recognized being taken upstairs, changed into jammies and dry diaper, and either rocked in the chair upstairs in a dark room, or taken to bed (where I would lie down and nurse him). Whenever dh would start this process (jammies and diaper) and then bring him BACK downstairs, ds would have a FIT! I kept telling dh that ds knew where he was and was ready for bed.<br><br>
We didn't do a very specific routine of jammies, toothbrushing, books, nursing, etc until ds 1 was around a year. He got pretty hooked on his routine by 1.5 or 2 and called us on it if we tried to cut it short after being out late.
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top