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I'm trying to decide if I'm over-reacting.<br><br>
My DS (3) has been going to preschool for almost a year. It's a local preschool that has been around for 30+ years and has a good reputation. We've been happy with it -- of course there are some things I would change, but as preschools go, this has seemed to be pretty good. DS likes it a lot.<br><br>
Yesterday, as I was leaving work to go pick up my son, someone from my office told me that they had seen him at an ice cream store (!) near the school with what looked like his teachers and a few other kids. I freaked. When I got to school, I questioned the teacher. She said she and the other teacher had taken the kids (I think 4 or 5 kids total) to get ice cream from a shop that is about 3 blocks away. I had no knowledge of this and obviously had not given permission. I told her this was not OK and that they were not to leave the school grounds again without my express approval. I also told her that we don't let him eat ice cream at home. I said that I knew they were trying to do something nice (my DS and the other kids will be moving up to the next room next month), but that this was not OK.<br><br>
I also stopped to talk to one of the three school directors (the only one in the office at the time, and the one I like the least.) She's not very friendly and said, "Oh I don't know. I'll talk to them" and then basically blew me off.<br><br>
I should add that the school is in between a residential neighborhood and a business district. The ice cream store is on a very busy street. You can get to the store via the residential streets by approaching it from the back, but the store itself fronts a busy street. The school's handbook says that on nice (weather) days, they sometimes take the kids on "nature walks" around the "neighborhood" but says that parents should look for notices on the bulletin board for when this will happen. If they walk in the opposite direction from the ice cream store, it is a fairly quiet, nice residental area. We were asked to sign a permission slip in advance for this, which I did sign, but which also indicates that parents would get advance notice before any "nature walk."<br><br>
I'm going to write a letter to the directors and teachers stating that DS in NOT to leave the school grounds without my advance express permission, ever, period. And the part about the busy street, the ice cream, etc. But would you consider leaving the school over this, if this were your child? I'm going to call around to some other schools today (we've probably missed the enrollment deadline for the good ones, but it can't hurt to ask.) At the same time, I don't want to yank DS from an otherwise good situation over one incident, albeit one that demonstrated VERY poor judgment.<br><br>
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
 

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I think it is really great that they do little field trips with the kids. MY DS (2.5 years) is in a fabulous daycare, and they leave the facility about once a week. They go to visit other school playgrounds, to the duck pond, petting zoo... One time a teacher, DS and another child even took a bus into town, and then the train one stop and back. Now, how fun is a train ride for a 2 year old! And yea, sometimes they go to other kids houses for birthdays. And he probably gets a bit of chocolate or ice cream, which I may or may not serve at home, but it is an occassion, and on occassion rules can be bent or broken.<br><br>
I would think a lot of the parents might see this as a positive experience, so if you have problemse with it for your DC, try not to be a wet blanket and ruin it for the other kids. Perhaps a better solution would be if they could inform you ahead of time, if they plan a trip, or to just excuse your child from said trips, but explain that it is not your intention to prevent other children from going.<br><br>
When we pick up DS at the end of the day, there is a little chalk board outside the room that says what the kids did. ie. "We enjoyed being outside in the playground toady. Kristoffer and Carla took a train ride from X to Y and back." We always ask DS "What did you do today?" But since he doesn't talk too much, this board gives us a little extra info. And if we need to know more, we can always ask one of the teachers.
 

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I have a feeling that if I lived in Denmark, I would be thrilled to have him taking bus and train rides too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Unfortunately, this is a typical American city with crime concerns, although this is actually not my biggest concern. The part that bothers me the most is traffic and the idea that they're trying to get a bunch of 3 year olds across streets.<br><br>
Actually, what really bothers me the most is the lack of advance notice of this. I like knowing where he is, all of the time. And I do think it's great that they want to get the kids out, but I just want to know about it. So maybe that's it -- that I just need to reinforce the "advance notice" part.<br><br>
I really do appreciate your perspective, though. Thanks.
 

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soonerorlater- I'm inclined to agree with Allison that field trips are fun for the kids. But I'm also completely appalled that they would take the kids off site without a written permission slip from a parent. It seems like they are inviting litigation by having the children away from their school without parental permission. I wouldn't take my kid out of the school but I would do what I could to ensure that I was informed prior to any field trips in the future. Since you already like the school and your dc is happy there, maybe this would be a good solution for the whole parent/teacher/school team.<br><br>
The ice cream is a whole other issue... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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just wanted to give you a hug<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">. I completely understand why you feel upset. I would be too if the people who I intrust my child to said one thing and did another. I don't want to get into all the "what ifs" but you have every right to know where your child is at all times. I would have a serious talk with them about the safety and security of my child if I was in your position.<br><br>
Good luck
 

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Um, some nature walk, LOL!<br><br>
I'm afraid I won't be much help, I chose a family daycare specifically so my son would get those kinds of experiences every day. We live in a major metropolitan area, our DCP takes the kids out every day, she has a small yard but when the weather's nice they cross many busy streets to get to the park. If it's not nice she'll take them to the grocery store, or post office, or whatever. Real life, you know? I like that he's getting out every day and learning more about the world he lives in.<br><br>
As far as the ice cream... we don't do a lot of sweets at home, and DH and DS are ovo-lacto vegetarian. My DCP doesn't provide meals, but occasionally on special days she will cook for the kids, often chicken, we let DS eat whatever she gives him. I think it would be awkward for him otherwise, and in this, as so many things, you really need to prioritize and pick your battles. DS eats very well at home, so I don't feel the very occasional meat or cake at DC is going to ruin him.<br><br>
But I can't tell you what's important to you, if this is a battle you choose to pick, that's your choice.<br><br><br>
**********<br><br>
ETA: I see you're concerned about the advance notice and stuff, guess I didn't really address that and I'm not sure how to. I trust my DCP's judgement enough that I don't feel she needs to clear everything with me ahead of time. I guess your situation is rather different.
 

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I wouldn't have been upset at all. Ds would have enjoyed something like a little trip to the ice cream store. We also live in the city.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry you felt wronged by the people you are supposed to trust the most.
 

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I would be upset, but not insane with rage. (To answer the question "How upset would I be?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) I expect that any time my child goes on a field trip, I will be notified first. Typically we get permission slips, but IMHO simple notification would be fine. That way if you have any concerns, safety or otherwise, you can communicate them to the teachers and staff before the trip.<br><br>
I agree that you should have received advance notification. That's probably what I would focus on in my communication with the school staff -- just saying that you were unpleasantly surprised to find out that your child was off the school grounds at a field trip you were unaware of, and that in the future you would just appreciate advance notice of any off-campus trips.
 

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my son's preschool takes them out on walks and walking trips all the time. I think it's wonderful that they get out this way. I don't consider a 3 year old a toddler either!
 

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I've worked in several preschool/child care situations, and in all cases, parents checked off a box giving us permission to go on short walks. As long as there is always more than one adult with the children when they are off the actual premises (a law in this state) I wouldn't have an issue with it. Getting to know your community--including local shops!--is an important preschool skill.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>StrawberryFields</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957736"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I wouldn't have been upset at all. Ds would have enjoyed something like a little trip to the ice cream store. We also live in the city.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry you felt wronged by the people you are supposed to trust the most.</div>
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ITA
 

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Since I want to raise my dd to be sugar free, I'd be pissed about the ice cream, but probably not the walk
 

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I would be pissed too. We don't eat dairy and i limit the sugar(certainly not during school geesh)... nature walks are one thing goint to the ice cream shop is another. NOW you ds is going to ask to be taken to the ice cream shop. this is what frustrates me. good luck- I don't know if I'd pull him out but I sure wouldn't let it slide.
 

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I would assume if a child had some sort of allergy or food restriction, the school would already know about it. Does the school know you don't allow ice cream?
 

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I would be upset. When my DS is at school, I expect him to be AT SCHOOL unless I sign a permission slip allowing them to take him elsewhere. They will probably say that the note you signed about the "short walks" covers this little excursion, though.
 

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I think you should tell the teacher that you are sorry you got so upset, you were having a bad day, and you appreciate her wanting some special time with your son.<br><br>
I think you should quietly go down to the office and drop a note in his file that says you do not want him eating ice cream (or sugar) without special parental permission, if that is important to you. You have a right.<br><br>
But if you do not want him crossing streets with his teachers, I would pull him from the school. The school program clearly includes walks in the neighborhood, which will involve street crossing. I think it will just not work for him to stay there unless you are fine with that.<br><br>
This is not Denmark, but I've never been concerned about my children being the victim of crime in Atlanta at an ice cream store in the middle of the day, and I've taught my 2 and 3 year olds enough that I would not fret either about them running off into the street.
 

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I don't think I'd have been upset, especially if you trust your DCPs. I worked at a child care center in college and I loved those children as much as I could w/o birthing them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I cried and cried when I left to do my internship. We rarely took them off of school grounds, but when we did we were hyper-vigilant about safety. Knowing that, if I trusted my DCP, I know that they'd be the same.<br><br>
My ds doesn't get sugary treats at home a lot, so I wouldn't take issue with one outing to get some ice cream. Sounds like it was just a nice treat before they had to change rooms. But I am sorry you feel upset about this.
 

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I don't think you are overreacting. I wouldn't want a 3 year old of mine going to the ice cream store with the daycare. Just for the danger factor, and the ice cream.
 
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