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When you did tell weather it was early or later in your pregnancy, how were the reactions from the people irl who knew about your loss?<br><br>
Were they super excited? Or cautious? How did those reactions make you feel? Did the super happy ones make you feel like you should be totally happy too and forget about your loss?<br><br>
If you have other dc, were the happy reactions any different then your previous pregnancies?<br><br>
I know this probably sounds crazy, but I tend to read between the lines when it comes to topics of this delicate nature. I am very undecided about how and when to tell people about our current pregnancy. Mostly b/c I am afraid of the reactions and how they will make me feel.
 

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It's been hard for me to tell people because some of the reactions have been less than enthusiastic. Like, "Are you sure?" (you want to go through this again) (at your age) (after what you've been through?) etc. etc. It's been kind of annoying, actually. I am thrilled and I wish other people could just be happy for me! It's made me afraid to tell people, even the ones who I thought would be supportive. And forget about the other ones -- my brothers don't know yet, mostly because one of my SILs has been a real pill about my losses.
 

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I got some more "cautious but happy" responses than I did with the first, which was ok with me because I found overly happy "oh everything will be fine this time" responses to be too overwhelming they just reminded me that I couldn't be sure that everything would be fine. I told everyone much later the with my first PAL than with my first child, but this time I sort of picked somewhere in the middle.
 

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Well so far I have only told DH, and he is very cautious. Kinda like it isn't real till we are past the 8 weeks where we lost one in Feb. I am okay with that i think. I am being reserved till then to. We are not telling family or friends till at least 8 weeks. Last time we didn't tell anyone till it was over because I had a bad feeling about that pregnancy the whole time. This time I have a feeling things are going to be great, I just can't bring my self to tempt fate and tell people yet.
 

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I am not currently pregnant again, (don't know if we will TTC again we have 4 living children) but I am curious about this. We didn't tell people about our loss at 18 weeks. Noone knew I was pregnant when we found out at our amnio that our baby wouldn't survive pregnancy, so I was thinking <b>if</b> we did get pregnant again, I think people would say the regular "don't you know what causes that" not knowing that we've had a loss.
 

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I've only told my dad and my sister (besides dh). They are both thrilled but know that we are scared and they are too. I told my sister that I was only telling them this week and dh's family next week but wasn't planning to tell the world. She encouraged me to tell people. I told my dad that and he said to do whatever I was comfortable with.
 

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I've had 3 miscarriages (twins at 8 weeks, a boy at 5 mo., and one at 7 weeks) and I have found that telling friends and family, although hard, gives me a huge support system. I tell them all as soon as I find out I'm expecting because I know that I will need their love and prayers no matter what the outcome. I find people to be cautiously happy for me when I tell them. There are people who have hurtful comments but I feel embarrased for them.<br><br>
I've become a different person over the last 2 1/2 years and sometimes I feel like I don't know myself at all anymore. I feel lost in all of this trying and praying and hoping and then losing it all only to barely build myself back up and do it all again. I can't help but wonder if I will ever have a healthy baby again.<br><br>
married for 8 yrs, mother of one perfect little pumpkin Grace Sophia, 4 yrs
 

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I just told dh the other day that I'm not going to tell a single soul, not even my mother, if I get pregnant again until I can't deny it ( showing too much). I've had two second trimester losses ( 20 weeks and 17 weeks) so there really isn't a time when I'll feel like we're "in the clear". I think I would be worried the entire pregnancy...which is coincidentally the biggest reason why I am NOT pregnant right now. But I know that overwhelmingly most people think we should NOT have anymore children, and that we should be happy and content with the two children we do have. It's hard not to hear the judgement in their voices when you tell someone you are expecting. I think when you are full and swollen with child it's harder for people to be as judgemental. It's a visual thing. Good luck!
 

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We have told way too many people the last two times (this is my fourth pregnancy but our only living child so far is the one growing in my womb). With our first pregnancy, we didn't tell anyone until 12 weeks. I miscarried at 12 weeks 4 days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
After that, with our next two pregnancies, we started telling people shortly after the BFP... asking them to pray and letting them know we were only cautiously optimistic. The reactions were toned down accordingly... no outbursts of congratulations but more, "Oh honey... we will keep you in our prayers." Looking back, I wonder if they were taking their cue from me... I honestly didn't expect those pregnancies to make it (they both ended up having chromosomal problems so I wonder if my body "knew" somehow).<br><br>
This time, I had a good feeling about it from the get-go... so when we've told people this time, the reactions were much more enthusiastic. My dad actually whooped! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It's amazing how positive our family and close friends have been about this pregnancy, even knowing our history. It actually makes me feel wonderful that everyone is so happy for us!!
 

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The people in real life who know about Amy Dawn have been very happy and excited for us which has been great.<br><br>
I have been nervous to tell people that don't know though because a) I don't want to have the possibility of having to tell them bad news later and b) I don't want them to assume that I'm feeling great because of their naivete.<br><br>
Mostly I haven't told people... they've found out from someone else or from dd.
 

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We really haven't told many people this time. I lost Bryce in July and I'm *still* telling people that I've lost him. So, we've decided to keep this a secret as long as we can. It's getting around slowly.<br><br>
My sister told my mom this time for me. I knew her reaction wouldn't be nice even though she saw firsthand how horrible it affected me to lose Bryce. Moms reaction was "I wish she would have waited. Theres nothing we can do about it now." It made me angry!! I know she didn't mean it to sound that bad, but after losing 4 babies herself you'd think she'd be a little more sensitive.
 
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