This whole thing is embarassing to me, and I might get wordy in an attempt to explain.
I'm a clean "good girl" and the fact that this happened to me depresses me. I know I'm over-reacting slightly, but I'm hormonal and I've been going through a lot lately. I feel like a big pathetic sissy, but it's just a lot to handle all at once while my emotions are out of control.
So, I have HPV. I had regular, ol' annoying warts as a kid. I have a lot of hang-ups about it still. I still refuse to wear shorts that show my knees (where I had them) even though the things are long-gone.
Now that I'm pregnant, I have vaginal ones. It's bad enough to have your vagina suddenly be so... ugly... or to have to deal with something you thought you had long since overcome, but now my doctor has me freaking out.
Here's how it went down- My general practitioner is the one that diagnosed me. She looked like she'd seen a ghost- she's only been in this profession for a year and a half and this was her first case. On top of that, she doesn't have many pregnant patiants.
We both agreed to see what my midwife had to say about persciptions and the baby in all this mess. She also said she would be calling the midwife for advice.
My midwife has been in the business 28 years. We are not chummy at all, but she does her job, and she agrees with my birth plan. I WISH we were chummy, but the only time she's friendly is in person. On the phone I feel like she's annoyed. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that I'm just being hormonal.
She scoffed at the situation, said to get the cream that the Gen. Dr. was going to perscribe, and not to worry. She looked at my "situation" but didn't do a pelvic. She said I have nothing to worry about, she's seen this before.
2 days pass, the Gen. Dr. calls me- her and the midwife haven't talked. She asks what Midwife had to say. I told her, she seems uneasy, but says she'll call in the scrip. This is a little odd that she hadn't talked to my Midwife- this Dr. is on top of things. It's a big reason I go to her despite her inexperiance.
She calls me a few hours later and says she's worried about laibility, and the baby, and has talked to a friend who is an OB/GYN and they both think I should see her. Also, the OB is willing to take me on as a patiant.
I haven't seen the OB/GYN yet, but I have her number and said I'd make the appointment. I figure I'll see what she has to say.
In the meantime I'm freaking out! Medical websites are full of bug-a-boo about bleeding and babies with warts on their eyes, genitals, and even throats. The word C-Section is being tossed around by my Gen. doctor.
I don't know how to feel- I don't want to do something stupid in regards to the baby, but I want to do a natural child birth. My Mother had 2 C-sections and doesn't understand why I'm so freaked. And EVERYBODY keeps telling me to do what is best for my baby as if I would actually subject her (its a girl) to such a thing! If I knew c-section was the only option, then I'd deal... but I don't.
Ok... I'm sorry this is SOOOO long. I just feel REALLY alone right now. For all his support, my DH doesn't get it, my mother doesn't get it...
All I want to know is- is this as scary as the Gen. Dr. is making it out to be? Should I trust the OB/GYN not to try and bully me into a C-section?