hpv and the evil ob

1745 Views 44 Replies 23 Participants Last post by mealymama, Jul 4, 2004

herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · Jul 1, 2004

Hey y'all. I'm new here--just registered last night. I have 2 dd's (10 and 7), and I've had 1 stillbirth and 3 m/c's. I'm 18 weeks pg (edd 11/27) and didn't go see an ob until just the other day. He was awful. He never introduced himself (I had never been there before), he was very rough with the exam (I've never had a pap hurt before!), didn't tell me what he was doing while he was doing it. He did an u/s, but he didn't even bother to try to see the sex of the baby after I asked him (I guess he thought I didn't know what I was looking at--genitals are NOT found on the head!), and he didn't even give me any pictures of my baby. However, what bothered me the most was that he said I would have to have a c-section because I have HPV. Actually, the nurse told me that also before the doctor even saw me. I did some reading, and found out that c-section is not indicated when the mom has HPV unless it is an extreme case and growths are blocking the birth canal (which is not the case with me). He wanted to schedule laser surgery, but told me it wouldn't make a difference--that I would still have to have a section. I started bawling in the exam room--he handed me a roll of paper towels, and did not have much to say after that. I'm going to go to a new ob, but now I'm scared to death. I felt completely humiliated. When he had me slide down so he could do the pap, all he said was "it's a mess down here". I don't want to go through that again. I feel disgusted with myself. I wanted to have this birth with less intervention than my others. I don't know what to do.

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Caroline248

· #2 · Jul 1, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by herewegoagain
When he had me slide down so he could do the pap, all he said was "it's a mess down here". I don't want to go through that again. I feel disgusted with myself. I wanted to have this birth with less intervention than my others. I don't know what to do.

Oh my..I have no advice, I am just so sorry he had the balls to say that to you. How hurtful and mean. I think it goes without saying you need a new dr....

Caroline

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herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · #3 · Jul 1, 2004

Thank you Caroline. Wanna know something really funny? The doctor that I went to was not the one I had planned to go to. I don't have a gyn here because I haven't been living here long, and a friend recommended one to me. I was in a hurry the other day when I looked up the address. I looked it up online, and must have clicked the one below it (there was one letter difference in the names).

Pregnancy brain at work again! I am going to call the one I originally intended to go to and see if I can just go in and meet the Dr. I just want to get my test results (from the half-gallon of blood they took--lol) before I do the switch. Thanks again.

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3 little birds

· #4 · Jul 1, 2004

How unprofessional! (and cruel)

I would stay away from him after you get your test results.

Hope you have a good experience with your new practitioner!

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DalaiMama

· #5 · Jul 1, 2004

ughhh, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That doctor sounds like a complete waste of a medical degree, and what he told you was absolutely untrue. There is no reason why you should have to have a c-sec unless you do happen to have HUGE growths, which I have heard to be very rare. I definitely agree that another care provider is in order, and I'd keep looking until you find someone who will let you have the birth you want.

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Stephanie29

· #6 · Jul 1, 2004

What a creep, I think you need to write a letter of complaint to the clinic where he works. that is terrible that he treated you that way. find yourself another dr, and forget that ass! I really do think you need to complain tho about his awful bedside manner!
HUGS!

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PgSAL/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...niesPregnancy/
http://www.geocities.com/hopefully_trying_again

Artisan

· #7 · Jul 1, 2004

That is just ridiculous that you should be treated that way. I'm so sorry.

Mom2baldie

· #8 · Jul 1, 2004

Oh, Im so sorry that happened to you.

You know what, I have HPV also (HSIL) and have never been told I need to have a cesarean! I am planning a midwife assisted homebirth in Sept. in fact.

There is some research out indicating that when the baby passes through the cervix it can actually "scrape" (for lack of a better word) some of the precancerous cells away and make you heal faster!

There is a lot of info on www.pubmed.com about laser surgery, or LEEP or cone biopsies during pregnancy that might help you feel better about your situation. Ceseareans should not be resorted to unless the growths are so big that the baby cant pass through. Thats idiotic!

Since my HPV is pretty severe now, I will be going to a naturopath as soon as I give birth to begin taking the cervical vitamin suppositories and hopefully this will help me instead of having to have surgery on my cervix. A women named Tori Hudson began this treatment several years ago and has had great success with it. Unfortunately its hard to find a Dr. who has the correct treatment protocal. I am traveling 4 hours to this naturopath!

I hope you are able to find some info that will help you and most importantly, change Drs! This guy is truly a JERK!!

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plantmommy

· #9 · Jul 1, 2004

WTF?! What an insensitive pig of a Dr.!!!

:

I'd definitely complain, in writing.

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Mamma2Addison

· #10 · Jul 1, 2004

That is awful! Sounds like to horrible OB I saw at the beginning of this pregnancy. I sat it out for a few more visits before switching and giving the old practice a piece of my mind.

Hope you find someone you gel with. I can't believe anyone would be so rude!

Lucysmama

· #11 · Jul 1, 2004

to Mothering!!!

I am so sorry you had to be faced with such a pompous jerk!!!! I would LOVE to give him a talking-to right now! (I am feeling very hormonally-charged!)

I hope you can find someone kinder and gentler.

Just remember, you don't have to consent to anything. You can tell them NO to a pelvic exam, the ultrasounds, the cesarean. It's YOUR care, you are the boss!

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herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · #12 · Jul 1, 2004

Thank you so much! I love y'all already.

I have thought about complaining, but I have no idea to whom I should direct the complaint. It's a private practice. My mother suggested telling my insurance company. I doubt they could care less, but I will be calling to inform them that I am changing doctors and I will tell them the reason. I hate to think of other women having to go through what I did with that Dr., so if anyone knows what I can do, please let me know.

Mom2baldie: I'm so sorry that you have it too. I was diagnosed a few years ago when I had an abnormal pap, and had a colposcopy and cryosurgery. I haven't kept up with the paps

. I will get results next week for the one I had the other day, and I hope this one's ok. When I was first diagnosed, they said I had dysplasia and that it wasn't pre-cancerous (yet). I really hope this one doesn't show any new problems--if it does, I will probably wait until after birth for any treatment. The evil ob prescribed Aldara, but I haven't filled the presciption yet. I have read conflicting reports on its safety during pregnancy, so I may wait and see what the new ob says. Congratulations and good luck with the HB! I considered it, but there are no midwives here, and I am afraid because of my history.

Y'all have made me feel so much better.

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herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jul 1, 2004

Lucysmama: Can I PM you his name and number??

: I didn't particularly "want" the pelvic, but I know I needed it because of the HPV. I did want the ultrasound for reassurance--I have been really stressed out about this pregnancy, and it was an immense comfort to see that the baby is in there, alive and well. I did tell him that I did not want a c-section. He responded by saying that he would "let" me try but he "wouldn't be responsible".

I wonder if that means I can give him the smack upside the head that he deserves as long as I say I'm not responsible first?

:

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girlfactory

· #14 · Jul 1, 2004

How fast can you run? Get the hell away from that doc!! Is there someone else in his office that you can start seeing?
In a situation where the doctor is being inappropriate in any way, you should go here:
http://www.ago.state.co.us/FAQPAGE/doracmpt.htm

It gives a list of who you contact to complain about a specific type of Dr. It looks like the office is in Denver, since the a/c is 303: Medical Doctors 303-894-7690

Please, don't go back to that quack!! Can you imagine this person delivering your child? OY!!

Lucysmama

· #15 · Jul 1, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by herewegoagain
I wonder if that means I can give him the smack upside the head that he deserves as long as I say I'm not responsible first?

:

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Jane

· #16 · Jul 1, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by herewegoagain
all he said was "it's a mess down here"

No woman's genetalia is "a mess" unless she's been sitting in pie~!

I cannot believe the unprofessionalism of a man who would say such a thing.

herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · #17 · Jul 1, 2004

Thank you moonbabygirl! I will definitely check out that site. And I am only going back to get my test results and tell him what I think about the way he treated me. He will not lay another hand on me. As soon as we walked out of the office I told dh "I hate him and there is no way in hell he's going to deliver our baby and ruin my birth experience". This will more than likely be the last pregnancy for me (although dh and I aren't in complete agreement about that yet), and I'm not going to let anyone ruin it for me.

I already can't believe how much I let him hurt me. I wish I had stood up for myself then and there. Especially the "mess" comment. DH has been so sweet and understanding about it--I cried on his shoulder for an hour before I went in for the exam, and then even more afterward. The way the Dr. treated me is the exact reason I've been avoiding medical care for it. God, I hope the next ob isn't like that.

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herewegoagain

Discussion Starter · #18 · Jul 1, 2004

Quote:

No woman's genetalia is "a mess" unless she's been sitting in pie~!

Laughing through the tears now. Thank you.

Marysmama

· #19 · Jul 1, 2004

First of all welcome to Mothering.

I agree with everyone else that you should see a different ob. And I think your idea of just going to meet the next doc is a good one.

It's easier to talk to a doctor when your not naked with your legs in stirrups. You'll feel more in control and able to speak up. Bring a pad of paper with your questions as well. Remember, you have plenty of time to find the right person. You deserve to find the right birth attendant for you and your baby.

I feel so bad for your experience. The ob I see is a woman and so soft spoken and nice. She's very much like a midwife. I wish you could see someone like her.

Good Luck

mum2tori

· #20 · Jul 1, 2004

I wouldn't even go back for the test results, I'd have them sent to your new doctor. And if the original office balks and wants to know why, tell them you are filing a complaint about the manner in which you were treated and will not be stepping foot back into that office. The results are yours, no matter the office they are done in.

Definitely file a complaint. Doctors like that give the entire profession a bad name. NOT all OBs are like that. And there SHOULDN'T be any that are!!

Contact your insurance company (they do want to know if the doctors they are dealing with are competant which he doesn't sound like he is). Contact the medical board in your state, they should be made aware of his conduct. Do a google search for filing a complaint in your state. Most states have a website for info concerning what you need to do.

I am shocked by his total disregard for common courtesy, decorum and talk about total lack of bedside manner. He should be in a research lab (if even there!!), not around patients!

I'm a staunch supporter of OBs but I've always had excellent ones and gotten great care. My current OB was my original OB when I was a teenager and he is also my moms. Which is nice because he understands our family history personally. I've only gone to other OBs because I lived out of state. (I drive 45+ minuts to see him now).

I'm sorry you were treated that way. It is not acceptable at all!!

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