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This all may be a bit disjointed and a tad of a ramble(<b>please don't tell me that mine is the longest birth story ever posted</b> :LOL ) as I tend to be when posting, but its been 19 months of me adding to it bit by bit.<br>
When I feel the urge to edit and add new things or correct mistakes I will although I am sure that I will never remember it all..as there were so many details. Also I a never claimed to be a writer and after a few years out of school what writing skills I had have long since disappeared.<br><br>
I will start on the weekend before the birth...I had had my 41 week NST on Friday March 19th 2004 (the night before we had gone for very spicy Indian food hoping that would get things going) where they had predicted my giant 9 lbs 8 oz's baby and recommended c-section right away but assumed I would refuse because I was a client of the Midwives, this was all said in a very negative tone. They tried scaring me by telling me that the Birth House might not even accept me for the birth because I was having such a large baby(not true at all).<br>
They told me the large size was because I had GD but we wouldn't know for sure as I had never taken the test(to this I say look at the size of the Father and that might explain the size of the baby...Eric is not a little guy and was at birth 9 and half lbs)<br>
They also said there was a big risk of SD with a baby this size..I have since learned that position of the baby has more to do this then size.<br>
We asked how sure they were about the weight and they said that they are never off by more then a half a lb...another lie..that other hospital staff told me later they could be off by up to two lbs. Our friend Nancy was there with us(she had driven me and Eric had meet us three) and her last baby was around 10 lbs and she had SD but a very unexpected and fast delivery...the baby later had to have sugery to correct the problem and although she did not have GD during that pregnancy(she did during her first) her DH believes she did and later said that he wished she had been retested for it so they could have prevented it(!?!) not sure how that all worked out in his head but it was more negative energy that I did not need. In tears Nancy and I went to see Peggy my back-up midwife (Eric went back to work) where she reassured me that yes the baby was large but it was do-able but to keep in the back of my mind that I may have to be transferred during labor if things do not move along well and in a timely manner.<br><br>
At that point I was 1-2 Cm and I believe 50% effaced<br>
She stripped my membranes and gave me some blue cohash granules to take through out the night and next day. I believe I also started EPO at that time inserting a few each evening.This did nothing except I lost my mucus plug...Saturday afternoon my main midwife Valerie calls me and recommends an acupuncturist who comes to my home that evening and does two treatments...it has worked with some women whose babies are ready but can take up to 24 hours.<br><br>
The next morning I wake and still nothing...keep in mind that during everything I was walking and doing stairs like a mad women in order to have his head drop down. He was still pretty high. Not sure when I was told this but they said if my water breaks to lay down as his head was so high they feared that it might drop on the cord if my water broke.<br>
Sunday afternoon still nothing so I meet up with my midwife at the Birth House who checks to see he has moved down further so she strips my membranes again and gives me some more blue cohash as well as some other treatments to help me relax etc. Also as a last resort Castor oil to be taken very early the next day if still nothing had happened.<br>
She also told me that she will have to call the hospital in the morning to set up an induction for either Tuesday or Wednesday.<br><br>
Early Monday morning arrives(Eric set the alarm for me to get up early to take the Castor Oil and decides to stay home from work)<br>
I drink the entire bottle mixed in orange juice and it was not so bad really..not as bad as even one says and after the Castor oil kicks in I have maybe three contractions.<br>
I remember sitting on a ottoman in the living room looking outside while these three contractions happen.<br>
Midwife and I are in contact all day, my induction is set for Wednesday the 24th and I think great I still have time to go into labor on my own.<br>
Meanwhile I am having sex, warm baths everything I can think or have ever read of to help start labor<br>
But Monday night I sat up half the night on our sofa crying. I am just so discouraged and begging our son to start labour soon before we have to have an induction..<br><br>
Tuesday morning at 6am I get up to go pee and great news my water broke. Yeah... I wake Eric and tell him, we are very excited as I stand in the bathroom gushing all over the floor.<br>
I wait for a bit to call my midwife as it is clear and I want the contractions to start. She says to come in later and we will check to see if what is going on<br>
. Some minor ones do start and we go the Birth House later to see what is happening..still the same no further dilation...so we go home to wait it out(stopping at the bank first to get cash for the acupuncturist that Valerie told us to call again to help contractions along...I had a thin panty liner on and I am sure everyone in line behind me at the bank thought I had peed myself. The fluid was leaking so much.. but we knew it was okay as Valerie told us that it replaces itself every 3 hours.<br><br>
We also pick up a poutinue on the way home( yummy comfort food)...if labor has not started before midnight about 18 hours after my water had broke, we must go back to the Birth House to have an antibiotic started to avoid infection.<br>
I start to have stronger contractions and I do lots of walking both inside and outside the apartment to keep them coming...by the afternoon we decided to take a nap, and when I woke up an hour later they had stopped.<br>
I was in contact with my midwifes who encouraged me to try another session with the aquapuntist...she came and did a session in the evening and the contractions started again<br>
. Every 5 minutes 1-2 minutes long for at least two hours, we are very excited. I sing through them.<br>
While on the phone with Valerie we start to plan out what type of drug I can take now that that the time is nearing to have to take some.<br>
I am even calling the drug store at 11pm to see what I had taken for my UTI early on in pregnancy to see if that can help Valerie figure out what antibiotic she can safely give me.<br>
I have bad reactions to many drugs so it was a big concern for all of us.<br>
We pack up our things for the birth because we know one way or another that we will be having a baby soon and head to the Birth House with my hot water bottle and towels on my car seat. By the time midnight rolls around we are at the Birth House and the contractions have stopped again.<br>
At this point I have to have an antibiotic for sure and now we have a large problem of not knowing which is fine for me to take.. There is no one else to consult as it it is so late. When Valerie checks me I am still the same.<br>
I now have three deadlines to meet the 18 hour one of getting an antibiotic, the the fact that I have to be at the hospital for 6am for the induction as well as the fact that at 6:AM my water will have been broken 24 hours and I need to be in active labor by then in order to stay at the Birth House.<br>
We even call my parents at this late hour to see if she know the name of any drugs which I have taken that have given me no reaction.<br>
After much discussion Eric and I made the painful choice to go to the hospital to start the antibiotic and assume that by 6am I would not have gone into active labor naturally.<br><br>
I cried although I tried to stop myself otherwise I would have never stopped I try to lighten the mood by saying oh I wanted to give birth on these pretty sheets. Our midwife drives us the short distance to the hospital and helps us get settled. By the time the hospital figures out what drug I hopefully will not have a reaction to and starts the induction it is 3am.<br>
I tell myself to write down the name of the drug but forgot do to do that...when we later request the medical records its not even written on it. I only remember that it starts with a C and my Midwife assumes what is is and writes it down in our records but we can't be sure that was the drug they gave me . Eric and I are tired, scared and felt very out of place. Both of us were very uncomfortable with the whole situation. We asked if we can leave the next day as long as the baby and I are fine, they agree.<br>
Eric and I talk about the costs of a private room for after the birth as our insurance only covers semi-private but realize that we can not afford it(an extra 100.00 or so per night) and if I am only there a night it will be fine.<br>
They ask about pain relief and as I was having a NBC but now am being induced so am undecided at that point and say I will let them know and they ask about formula or BF and I tell them we are BF.Our midwife goes about getting a chair for Eric as the chair that is provided in the room he can not even fit in.<br>
At that point for some odd reason we send our midwife home..I felt bad because she had been up for days as well and already had another patient transfer that day.<br>
In hindsight this was not a good idea...we really needed someone there to tell us what to do and help us deal with the pain<br>
Around 3am they started the antibiotic and the Oxytocin(we have arrived thinking that they would wait till morning to start the Pit to give me a chance to rest but this was not the case), they increased the dosage every 15 minutes... I was hooked up to fetal monitors and contraction monitors as well as the IV for the Pit and drugs and something to hydrate me I assume. They messed up putting in the IV the first time and had to switch to my other wrist.<br>
I hated to be trapped while dealing with the contractions as it was not something I had planned for and every time I wanted to go to the washroom I had to be unhooked which really pissed the nurses off. As they were so concerned because my water had already broken and I should not be walking around...to this I say blah I had been walking around almost 24 hours with my water broken and no harm had come of it.<br>
This also made it impossible to deal with the pain by moving about...I could not even move about on the so-called bed I was on as the stupid monitors slipped off every time. I was trapped on both sides unable to move without twisting things up. I understand why they had them there but it still did not make it any easier to deal with.From about 3am to AM I really do not remember much as the pain was horrific...I continued to sing songs through the contractions(which I had started to do the night before whenever I had a contraction which came every minute or two. The odd thing it was when I would look at the monitor and I was having a big contraction it would be at its lowest numbers like 19 or so and then when it was a small contraction it would be at 40 something. I know later in labour it would get up even higher but by that point I had stopped looking. I still do not understand how it works<br><br>
Around 6am or so I asked them to check me as I prayed that I was at 3 CM so I could have the epidural.In hindsight this might have made a difference in the delivery either for the better or for the worse. I knew going in there that 80% of women who are induced take the epi and now I know why!!!<br>
My reasoning was that I had had no sleep for almost 48 hours and was really freaking out with the stress level and knew that the pushing would be even harder then the labour and wanted to be rested and prepared. Plus I was really pissed that I was not allowed to labour in any other way but on my back, which was extrremly awkward and uncomfortable<br>
Happily I was 3cm and requested the epi, Eric called one of his best friends Nancy who we had asked to be at the birth to tell her she could come now, thankfully she was already on her way. I had asked her to be there for Eric and was really glad in the end that she was there for him, plus she took video for us, it was as tasteful as a birth video can be.<br><br>
She arrived around 7am just as I was getting the epi which scared me big time with its dire warnings, but feeling wise it was not as bad as I expected. From that point on I was pretty happy and I am sure a little loopy. as drugs tend to make me<br>
I called friends and family to let them know what was going on. Was introduced to so many doctors, nurses etc which continued through out the entire hospital stay. A little freaky for someone who wanted only 5 or so people at the birth.<br>
I remember one nurse commenting in my painted blue toe nails and said we must be having a boy..true but I love the color blue so they would have been painted blue no matter what. I also remember Eric took a shower at some point during the morning.<br>
We asked about having Eric cut the cord, that I did not wanted an episitomy etc which all the nurses said depended on the doctor who delivered which could have been one of about five at this point. I spoke with one of my midwifes by phone who offered to come but I was feeling great so I declined.<br>
I was checked at 11am and was 9.5cm and was told that it would be a couple more hours until I felt like pushing. So I sent Eric and Nancy to lunch and told them to bring me back something for after the birth because I was starving. I had a good time taking to my friends and updating them on what was happening by phone. I also called my parents and gave my Father the update, Mom had taken the cat to the vet and would not be home till later.<br>
Now here is where things start to get a bit foggy and am not really sure about the order of things or all the times. But I do know that my back up midwife Peggy arrived to see how I was doing and Eric and Nancy got back from lunch. Eric had also called his parents to let them know that they could start the drive to the hospital...40 minutes or more if traffic. They were to wait until the birth and then we would have them in to see the baby.<br>
I was so thirsty during this time and was told that I was allowed popsicles and ice chips Eric bought me a a $4.00!! Popsicle, it was the best damn thing I ever had.<br>
Honestly I was mad that the hospital did not allow eating during labour as I had plans to do so at the Birth House if I felt like it.<br><br>
I think when Peggy arrived is when I started to get the urge to push but I was having this horrible knot of pain in my lower back which drove me nuts so I was unable to concentrate to push, so thankfully Peggy at this point started to tell the staff what I needed etc, they topped off my epi so I could start to push. This was around PM or so.<br>
I also lost my Popsicle which I remember telling Eric I can not wait till this is over so I can have another one!!!<br>
I was also craving veggie sushi and something called Munchy Mushrooms from a local smoked meat restuarant..yummy mushrooms fried in a batter. Silly things that one dwells on.<br>
I am relieved that someone had the brains to wait until I had the urge to push rather then go by how many CM's etc I was...otherwise I am sure it would have ended up much worse.<br><br>
The phone also keep ringing off the hook while I pushing and Eric had to answer it...every call was for someone else with a name that rhymed with mine. Once even his replacement called on his cell phone about work!!!!!<br>
Pushing was the hardest thing I have ever done, it encompassed my whole being. Not only was it physical but mental and emtionial parts if me.<br>
It also felt great to work with the contractions, almost a relief to the pain. After about two and a half hours of pushing I was unable to get his head down past what they call the bony ridge.It sucked having people screaming at me and counting to ten...I also did not appreciate people sticking their fingers in my butt telling me where to push, that really hurt..although I had the epi I could feel perfectly well...had they turned it down? I don't know. Perhaps I shold have told them that I could fell perfectly well at this point this but when you are in teh moment it just does not happen.<br>
I also wonder if the Pit was every turned down or off...I don't think so, perhaps after labour was established we could have turned it down or off and I could have continued without it.<br>
I also wonder because I know some people who labored at this hospital and had a low dose of Epidural and was allowed to walk and move about with the monitors this would have made a big difference in how I handled labour.<br><br>
Eric, Nancy and Peggy were all doing a great job helping me out, but I was starting to get tired and was so hot and sweaty I could smell myself.<br>
I also had such a thirst and I was just a chruching away at the stupid ice chips...I wanted cold water and lots of it. The room was very hot and I had them open the window to let in cold air.At about this point I remember asking Peggy if they would let me get upright because I was sure if I could squat it would be painful but I could get his head down, she asked but of course because of the epi I was not allowed.<br>
This is where I should have insisted...my body was screaming for me to be in this position to push. I heard the rumblings of c-section talk and Eric later said that when they brought that up I started pushing even harder. C-section was my worst nightmare...I would have lost that birth with midwives but all future births as at that time Midwives were not allowed to follow VBAC's(that has since changed on a case by case basis) Besides the pain I had had my appendix removed the previous year and the three tiny cuts took me weeks to recover from I could not imagine doing it with a newborn.<br>
Eventually they offered me a vacuum as a last resort before a c-section which I accepted but in my head I thought of it being external not internal. Why I don't know. It was something I had not looked into previous to the birth. From this point on all I remember is the pain and me screaming. Although Eric said that he never heard me scream so perhaps that was all in my head<br>
This without all doubt was the most pain I have ever felt in my whole life having this vacuum inserted. The vacuum worked in 3 or 4 pushes to bring his head down. The nursed pushing on my stomach and feeling his head come out. I remember thinking this is what the Ring of Fire feels like.<br>
I also remember Peggy leaning over me and yelling turn the head several times to the Doctor as he seemed to be confused as to what to do. I am not sure when the episitomy happened but I felt the cut and remember that at this point Eric started to freak(Nancy had to help him he was feeling very bad for me as he know that I did not want one) I tend to think that the Doctor cut and then turned the head after Peggy told him to and then Hunter slipped out...no need for the episotomy at all....he was just too quick to cut..The cord was clipped by the doctor and Hunter was plopped on my chest.<br>
I really just remember hovering around him with my hands scared to touch him and then he was taken away. I couldn't see that well as I had removed my glasses and the overhead mirror on the ceiling so one could see their baby as they are pushing was not the greatest.<br>
Later after watching the video I saw my midwife start to clear his nose and mouth he was not breathing or not breathing well I later found out.<br>
He was born at 453pm on March 24th 2004 weighing 8 lbs 10 oz and 21 and a half inches in length. He was taken away rather quickly and it said in the medical report a bag and mask was used on him because his tone was not good and he was grunting. A nurse started to scream to turn something down..not sure for what though<br>
. I was given a shot in the thigh for the bleeding.<br>
Eric and Nancy went with Hunter to be looked after in the nursery I clearly remember instructing Eric to go with Hunter...I was extremly calm feeling inside and outside most likely shock at all that had happened kept me calm.<br>
Peggy stayed with me to explain what was going on. Peggy also went back and forth between the nursery and my IL's were able to see Hunter. My MIL freaked out because she thought that there was something wrong with him.<br>
It took them about an hour to sew me up as I had a 4th degree tear, the epistomy turned into a tear. Students had started to sew and then realized that it was too much for them and called in someone else. I also found this very very painful and they gave me something more in my epi IV to help with the pain.<br><br>
The phone rang and it was my Mother, my Father was napping and had not told her that I had called and she was concerned asked if I had had the epi and I broke down in tears and said I had the baby...the Doctor grabbed the phone out of my hand and told her that there was something wrong with the baby and hung up...this I did not find out for days...it was hours before I called her back and I am sure she was going out of her mind with worry.<br>
Later Nancy took a picture of Hunter and brought it to me so I could see what he looked like. He looked like a tiny version of Eric. I remember commenting on the fact that he had hair and it was brown which shocked me. We had expected a bald or blonde baby...he lost all his hair when he was about 4 months and when it grew back he was blonde.<br><br>
When I was finally taken to my room the Doctor walked with us and said that I would have ice packs and sitz baths to help with the tear and swelling(none of which I recieved for my entire stay) I remember looking at my body and seeing blood and pen marks all over it. When we left the delivery room there was blood all over the floor.<br><br>
Once I was in my room a nurse who was screaming at us came to settle us in( I can only assume she was deaf but it freaked me out I thought something was wrong with my hearing and even asked Eric if he heard how loud she was)<br>
She flipped me over and stripped me right in front of my IL'S how humiltiating and pulled on a pad and pair of panties. My IL's left the room and I was insistate to the nurse that I had had a BM but when we checked I hadn't. I guess the swelling made it feel like that.<br>
She also said it too bad you missed supper and left the room. Thank God Eric had brought back a Veggie Subway sub...while his parents drove him to the Birth House to pick up our car I ate and called my Mother and Grandmother is tell them we had had a boy and other details.<br>
When Eric got back we asked to see Hunter and was told it was not needed...at that point I started to cry and said please I have never seen my son. They said I needed a wheelchair and that someone would have to help me in and out and to call when we got back to our room for help.<br>
I went to see him around 8 30pm that night but do not remember if I touched him or not. Eric says I did. I could see he was alert and ready to eat but he was attached to IVs so I did not have him taken out so I could try to feed him. A mistake on my part not to push the matter.<br>
Nurses told me that he could come back to my room but it was too much of a hassle with the IV's etc and so not to bother.He also had already been given a Paci which horrified me..when questioned the nurse said this would not interfere with BF(which is another lie)and I meekly accepted it(she told me would you rather have him cry) although I knew better..we had them put a sign on his bed to let the staff know he was to be BF and not bottlefed and to call me when he was ready to eat.<br>
Eric called for a nurse when we got back to our room but was told that I should be able to get out by myself but Eric insisted and when a nurse came to help me I asked if I could go to the washroom before getting into bed as I knew it would be hell to do it alone. They helped me in the washroom but while sitting on the toilet I passed out and was taken back to my bed on the way there I thought damnit I never got to pee now what am I going to do.<br>
Eric went home as semi-private rooms have no where for a partner to sleep.I later found out he sat in the car and cried when he left. Lucky me my roommate was feeling great and her and her husband stayed up all night chatting and laughing so I never got a bit of sleep that night.<br>
Around midnight they called my room and said Hunter was ready to nurse...so I waited and waited and waited for someone to come get me finally they called and asked where I was..I said I can't get out of bed or walk by myself so they sent someone to get me...when I got there I asked a nurse to take a picture of us together but had no luck nursing(no one was there to help)..I tried for over 3 hours but finally went to start pumping I was able to get a few oz which they said they would give him by cup.<br>
Morning comes and I call friend's,family members, and co-workers while I wait...Eric and my midwife arrive about the same time when I am in the nursery to get Hunter(This was the preemie nursery and there were so many tiny tiny babies there the one next to Hunter was being worked on it was very scary to see I could not look for fear the baby was dying)<br>
We go to a room attached to the nursery so I can try and nurse....Eric holds his son for the first time, we have a very nice picture.<br>
This room is where the Mother's of the preemies nurse or pump. I am not allowed to bring him back to my room until I can nurse well but I have little success. But I do get to bring him back with me.<br>
My midwife tells us we should have Hunter's head examined by an osteopath after we leave the hospital so his skull can be fixed from the vacuum. Everyone notices that he has a pointed skull bbut new Mother that I am don't notice it all all.<br>
I am at some point during the afternoon I am able to take a shower...but it is hard...there is no fixtures so one can put bottles/towels etc in the shower so we haul the food cart in for me to place my things there. I could barely stand up let alone bend while in a shower have to pick up things off the floor. A very silly lay out if you ask me. But I enjoyed the shower it felt so nice to be clean again.<br>
I had spoken with some friends on the phone and invited them for a visit as I thought I was up for it...Eric went with Hunter while the nurse gave him a bath..although they kept insisting that no one needed to go with him.<br>
My roommate also decided to pretty herself up and broke a glass perfume bottle in the bathroom and did not even tell anyone..it was up to Eric to call someone to have them clean up, the whole room stank and was extremely hot and stuffy (note to self do not wear cloth slippers to a hospital ever, also pack bag as though one is going to a fashion show)I had planned for a Birth House birth and short stay outside the public eye and was ill prepared for a public hospital stay...I looked like crap the entire time, it seemed that everyone there had time to do their make-up and hair and was wearing perfectly matched clothes...man I felt like crap.<br>
Our friends arrived for a short visit and brought a lovely gift.<br><br>
Food wise I was still having problems although I had requested Veggie meals I was given eggs, fish etc for meals. I even keep asking for tea but was given coffee instead. Eric had to bring me food and snacks when I sent him out to Wilmart for more pads and phone cards.<br>
I was having big problems nursing and no one seemed to want to help me, our midwives were great but they could not be there the entire time.<br>
The next few days are a blur but I will try and write it down as clear as I can remember and in the right order. Although this has nothing to do with the actual birth it played a big part in how I felt when I left the hospital and my recovery.<br>
Night Two in the hospital is spent with me..it is without a doubt the most frightening experience to be left alone with a hungry newborn and unable to nurse. It was a horrible night which I hope I never repeat.<br>
We had been keeping him in the bed warmer and so every time he cried I would struggle to get out of bed(I had planned on co-sleeping at home but am not sure why I did not think of this at the hospital duh).<br>
I swear one time it took me over 15 minutes to get to him and he was right beside me...the pain of the tear was horrible and I had so much trouble getting out by myself as I think my tail bone had been moved out of place and every single muscle in my body was screaming from the pain..the bed was too high off the ground for my small frame I had to jump down and I couldn't believe that a hospital bed had been designed so badly in addition every time I moved the bed into a upright position to try and nurse it was extremely hard to do so and squeaked like crazy so I felt like I was distrubing my roommate.<br>
At one point my roommate told me to take him to the nursery where they could look after him as he spent the entire time screaming he was so hungry ...I burst into tears and left the room with him where I tried to find a quiet corner to try and nurse....I was standing in front of the nurses station crying my eyes out and the staff just sat and stared at me...looking back I should have called someone to come rescue me from the hell I was in but it was the middle of the night and I did not want to disturb anyone ..all I wanted to do was leave that wretched place. I happy to say that while trying to nurse that evening in one of their rocking chairs I bleed all over the damn thing...good I hope I ruined it.<br>
I know I was using one of their fancy pumps at some point during the stay as we were pumping and cup feeding most of the time although he did get some formula in there somewhere as I just seemed never have enough time to pump as much as he needed. Will ask Eric at what point that took place. and edit it in later.<br>
Next day they determine that he has jaundice(something to do with his blood type and mine)although they have not tested his type as apparently it can change!!?!! not too sure about that one. I personally think it was jaundice caused by him not nursing enough.<br>
They take him to the well baby nursery for his heel test all the while saying there is no need of me going but I insist and pay for it by almost passing out in the room. I feel so bad for Hunter having his heel pricked like that. Once nurse commented on my bathrobe..it was old one that had a beer logo on it as I had not wanted to bring my good white one...she said I must need a beer right about now.<br>
I observe a new baby brought in from C-sections and at one point a woman came in and started to pick up Hunter...she thought it was her baby..I almost decked her the instinct was so strong. I can not believe that she was not able to tell her baby apart from mine...once I saw Hunter's face it was like I had always known it.<br>
Eric arrived at some point after Hunter is put under Billie lights and wearing a little yellow bikini bottom and eye patches..he is kept there in the nursery during the day and I am called to nurse him when he is hungry.<br>
I remember trying to get in and out of the chair and a nurse told me to get used to it as she had to live with it for 5 months(first visit to the osteopath took care of that problem)<br>
The Doctor who had delivered Hunter at this point arrives by chance and asks some questions and determines that I should have had a blood test to check my iron levels the day after delivery but no one did one(maybe he noticed that I was deathly green in the face)someone came to do one but because it is Jewish hospital and oberves the Sabbath they said it might be a while before they got the test results back and I was not allowed the leave the hospital until we had the results of the test and Hunter was doing better with the jaudice. So after hoping againist hope that we would leave on the 26TH we were there another night(I had a iron level in the 70's and Hunter was still jaudice)...my back-up midwife came at some point and explained it all to us as well as fought to have Hunter in the room with us. She of course also helped me try and get a proper latch.<br>
The hospital said that I needed script for some iron pills and should start eating iron rich foods..interesting considering that I was barely being fed there let alone iron rich foods. The script also took over a day to be filled...apprently the Doctor on the floor was too busy to write it out.<br>
During the afternoon/evening my roommate was released from the hospital but until then her entire family hung out in our room waiting for someone to bring the carseat which had been forgotten...the hospital staff kept coming in asking when they were leaving when they fnally did she left wearing high heels and a wig with full make-up,really odd.<br>
They finally delivered my supper with a cup of tea..thank god but I had forgotten that tea makes me have a bowel movement and after a three days of not having one WOW...the pain was unbareable...Eric had to hold my hand through it all. More tramatic for him then the birth..that continued the pattern of the next few weeks while my cut/tear healed. Not something I hope to do again with the next birth.<br><br>
I got a new roommate during the night, she had a C-section and had a horrible cold and spent the entire night coughing and crying..I felt bad for her espically considering that in the morning it was found that her morphine drip had not been working so she was without pain meds...poor her.<br>
Eric and I had also had a nurse help us with nursing during the evening and when she finished her day Eric made her promise that she would get someone to help me dring the night..She did, the nurse even came in to introduce herself and said as soon as Hunter was hungry to page her at the front desk.<br>
When he finally ready I page am told that she is on break and she would come as soon as she is done......5 hours later someone comes to help me, by that time by Hunter and I had been crying all night.<br>
Someone did help me at that point and even told me to take him into bed with me even though he was still supposed to be under the billie lights...she showed me how to nurse laying down and I got the first hours of sleep in days...<br>
Breakfast arrives with Eric as well as another nurse who takes more blood from me not sure for what this time.<br>
Certianly not my iron which had just tested the day before and I had had no iron tablets as of yet and besides it takes weeks for it to climb again....this is explained to us by our midwife who arrives in the afternoon with a bottle of Floradix and to help with breastfeeding.<br>
Later in day we speak to another nurse who insists that my iron levels be higher before I am allowed to leave the hospital as there is a risk that I may pass out there hmm not like I haven't already at the hospital with no one to help me ...Eric argues that it takes weeks and we still have yet to recieve the script for the tablets and as for eating iron rich foods she is not even being fed anything she eats of course she is weak...and that we would do much better at home where I could be fed and looked after properly.<br>
She calls the Doctor who say that if Hunter's levels are better we can go home...our midwife at this point takes charge insisting that we be released that evening and she would even continue to test Hunter once we are home and send in the results to make sure he is doing better.<br>
This works and now we just have to wait for the results of his test...which takes hours and hours. Eric's parents arrive with food for me...yummy. My midwife stays and works with me more on breastfeeding my poor FIL kept having to leave the room, my MIL brags to the family next door that our midwifes are amazing and helpful. LOL Eric has finally had enough when a fish/pasta supper arrives for me and has it sent back insisting they bring me a veggie meal...the same plate is brought back and he sends it back again...finally someone in charge of the kitchen comes back with a veggie meal and says the kitchen serves kosher meals so it is diffcult when there are special requests. At some point during the day our room becomes infected with ladybugs and not the cute little red ones but the larger mustard colored ones that stink..they are attracted to Hunter's Billie lights and we spend most if the day fending the bugs off hi,<br>
We wait and wait and wait finally at 10pm the nurse comes and says we are allowed to leave on the condition that we see the Doctor who delivered him within two weeks for another blood test and the midwives keep checking his levels.<br><br>
Sidenote<br>
I get the Doctors info from them which is wrong and I spend a day during the following week trying to find his number and when I do call to make the appt. the receptionist refuses to make an appt. as I live outside their area. I leave a message for him and am never called back so never saw him again. Needless to say we do not go in for a blood test for someone who I can not get an appt. with.<br><br>
Eric rounds up a wheelchair as even if I had been able to walk my feet had gotton so large I could not fit them in my sneakers...we leave and it is all very surreal as who leaves the hospital at night..I guess I watch too much TV as its nothing like what they protray.<br>
We drive to the local drug store to have all my scripts filled..painkillers, stool softeners,iron tablets on and on.<br>
It is an unusally warm night for the end of March and is a Saturday night in downtown Montreal so everyone is out and about partying and having fun...it just seems so odd that everytime I turn around there is my newborn son in the backseat of the car. I was only 25 but felt soooo old in comparison to those out having fun.<br>
We get home and I call my Mother to tell her and our IL's had brought dessert so we ate that..although I think I spent most of that time trying to nurse and opening a bringing home baby gift that my cousin Donovan had sent it was a cute night shirt and I changed Hunter into ot for bed..too bad his belly botton bleed on it but I plan on using it for the first night with next babe as well.I am not sure of the details of that night...mostly it was spent nursing and changing diapers(Eric's job) I can't recall changing a single diaper in those early days.<br>
Sunday in tears in the bathroom I have Eric call our friends to come over so they(she can help me figure out how to BF yet again) She had little boy in Januray so was still in the thros of newly nursing..plus it was her second.<br>
Our midwife arrives at some time during the Monday..I think afternoon as the hospital had already called wondering where his blood test were. She weighed him and did the normal exam he obliged by peeing on her and even got some in his own mouth. She examained me as well and had Eric and I look at my epistomy as we were both fearful to look.<br>
My Mother was set to arrive on Tuesday as Eric was going back to work Wednesday(It was never a planned visit as Eric and my Mother do not get along but after the birth he realized how much help I needed once we got home and suggested my Mother come help(she stayed for 3 weeks and it was a godsend for me although they got along he said he still felt stressed with her there..oh well )<br><br>
While waiting for them both to arrive from the airport Valerie called and told me that Hunter's levels were still high and they may want him to be bvrought back in for Billie light treatment....this was an unbearbale thought for me for us to have to retuen to the hospital and I was sobbing when my Mother arrived. Shortly after Valerie arrived as she heard how discouraged I was on the phone and assured me that Hunter could stay home.....I am not sure how she worked that out but was very grateful. We later go for our first walk out and about with Hunter and then my Mother helps Eric and I give him his first bath.<br>
Thisis where I will end it as I can not recall anymore if that day or any of the following for quite some time.
 

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whew! I made it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I really appreciated all the details. That hospital sounded just awful. I'm sorry you had to stay there so long. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Wow. I don't evenknow what to say except to at the least wish you an absolutely better birth experience this time around! I have more to say, I'm just floored at the treatment you got at that hospital. {{{hugs}}}<br><br>
Namaste, Tara<br>
mama to Doodle (7), Butterfly (2), and Rythm (Due at home 1/06)
 

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Oh sweetie! I want to hug you and do something for you! You should consider staying at home this time around. I hope that you are healed, and realize that for every baby, there is a different birth. His birth taught you things that you might not even realize yet.<br><br>
I am so sorry that you were abused and neglected during the birth of your son. Make sure to have a doula there for the next baby. She will stay with you through it all.<br><br>
Sarah
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I am looking forward to the birth of our second child as I know it will be nothing like the first.. I mean it can only get better from there, right?.<br><br>
Our midwives and Doula's assure me that it Will be different even if I have the misfortune to end up at a hospital again(although it is doubtful that that will happen as their transfer rate is below 5% and that set of circumstances are unlikely to happen again) and I believe it will be. I even have a few more days to go post dates as they changed the law concerning this to extend a few more days.<br>
My wishes have been made know to our midwives concerning an emg. or non-emgen. transfer and it won't be to that hospital lol<br>
I really wish we could have a homebirth as it was just made legal in our province a few months back but as luck would have it we also just moved out of the catchment area.<br>
I have no worries though as the Birth House experience is something just as nice(and they have nicer sheets lol) and all our friends that have given birth there love it.<br>
Sometimes I am in shock and amazement that all that happened to us...I mean almost everything that could have gone wrong or unexpected did. We just slipped through the cracks everywhere. I am thankful that out of all of that mess my son and I survived and are OK.<br>
Many people insist that it was because I wanted a peaceful Birth House birth with only midwifes in attendance that it was so much more worse then it really was(it makes me feel whiny and self centered a bit as I guess some people are not as excited about the whole birth process as I am) ...but I really can't agree with that because even if one were to plan a hospital birth I don't quite think one would expect that kind of treatment.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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No, what happened to you was neglect pure and simple. You wonder if you got up and walked out of the hospital if anyone would have noticed. I don't understand why you couldn't have your baby for so long. Was there something wrong with him at birth, or did they take him for the heck of it.
 

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Wow, mama, you've been through so much!!<br><br>
I hope you have a beautiful, healing birth. It sounds like you're going with a doula this time around, is there anything else that you've decided to change (I think Bradley classes might help your husband be more empowered)?<br><br>
I too had a hospital birth transfer for my first, and a successful homebirth of a 9lb baby for my second (and I'm 5'2") at 42 weeks (induced w/ castor oil). The next birth can be so healing...hope it's beautiful, easy, and that you can come back and share it! We learn so much through experience...even I have a list of things I'd change if I have another child someday!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
What happened is even though he was not a SD case..they assumed that he would be so delivered him as such(did I leave some details out..must have, sorry there were about 8 medical staff in the room for his birth I don't think that is normal)<br><br>
They started maneuvers to prevent that(I guess) by pushing on my stomach even before his head was out(was told by my midwife that this is not the way to do it, the head should be out first) combined with the trauma of a vacuum delivery and then when his head came out he had not turned yet the proper way for his shoulders to turn and for him to slid out so the Doctor was pulling on him yes pulling.<br>
I distinctly remember my midwife at that point screaming at him to turn the head turn the head...as turning the head would mean the shoulders would follow, instead he cut and then turned the head...in the video you can clearly see the medical staff ignoring him while he is on my belly and my midwife is grabbing a pump to clean his nose/mouth.<br>
This is a big thing as midwives are not allowed to practice in hospitals..well the rules are a bit odd. Births followed by midwives when my son was born were only allowed in Birth Houses...like home birth in many ways, no drugs, interventions etc.<br>
If you require a hospital transfer the care is handed over to a Doctor and your midwife is support only.<br>
Now home births are allowed, as well as births in a hospital but if you decide to give birth in the hospital and are not a transfer case, no medical staff are involved in your care, its like renting a hotel room. If you choose the epi lets say your midwife is no longer your caregiver.<br><br><br>
In this case no one was paying attention to DS and it appeared that his tone was bad and he was grunting so they whisked him off to the NICU where he was Bag and Masked, Iv's for ? and given sugar water to hydrate as well as a big fat pacifier stuck in his mouth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
I am sure that I recall a nurse telling me when I did get to see him that its possible for him to be taken to my room but was too much trouble for them.<br>
At that point we were too tired and confused to fight it.<br><br>
To answer another question yes this time around in addition to my midwives we have two Doula's(once I have enough money to pay the deposit)in the Birth House setting they may or may not be redundant but will be with me at my home if I need them in early labour(if I still lived in the catchment area my midwives would come as well but alas I am not) as well as an advocate in case of hospital transfer again.<br>
I am not sure but I think that the midwives had to be careful not to step on any toes once I got to the hospital and therefore could not advocate as much they should have.<br>
Also this time around we are using the same Birth House but have two different midwives as both had babies last year so are on leave.<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DoulaSarah</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No, what happened to you was neglect pure and simple. You wonder if you got up and walked out of the hospital if anyone would have noticed. I don't understand why you couldn't have your baby for so long. Was there something wrong with him at birth, or did they take him for the heck of it.</div>
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