My husband is in the National Guard and has been gone for a year and a half, before that he was hardly around anyways, but now he wants to be a family and pull his weight (or so he says) and I don't know how to let him do that. I have always done everything with our daughter, our house, and until he got deployed with work. He has read parenting books that I give him to read and when he does parent he is good at it but he hasn't done it for an extended period of time and views it more as a job he can just quit when he wants to. How much should I let him do and how do I get him to actually stick with it and connect with his daughter (almost 3)? Not letting him connect is not an option because even lousy parents get visitation in Idaho unless they have hurt the child and he has never hurt her and if he doesn't work and I leave him I want to be sure he can at least be a parent when he has visitation. Besides that I want him to have a real chance to be a man, being in Iraq has hopefully changed him for the better.