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I am a bad wife and mother...

678 views 12 replies 11 participants last post by  dachshundqueen 
#1 ·
Not really, but I'm kind of whiney right now. DH has a job interview tomorrow in Northeast Texas, and then today another engineer at his firm approached him about starting their own firm so they would be self employed. It's all too much for me to think about right now. All I feel like saying is "I need a vacation. I need to go stay some place nice without any responsibilities. I don't want to take care of my animals or my children. I don't want to make some major life changing decision. I want to go sit on the beach, eat chocolate and read trashy novels...." Why doesn't life stop for a moment when I get pregnant? At least at the end? DS is 1 today - a year ago at this time I was in labor.... How do these people who go off on a mountain somewhere to have a baby do it? How do they get away from life?
 
#2 ·
I dunno, whenever I hear about people packing up and whatever to sojourn or take a leave of absence from life, I always think, Wow the IRS is going to waiting on your door the minute you get back. (And then, "But I'd miss watching House and Grey's Anatomy!")

I feel you today. I have NO patience for my 3 kids today. NONE. Zero. I was going to let the older boys not nap (meaning the afternoon sucks but they go to bed very early) but they were so whiny I gave up on that idea and they're in bed now.

Dh is in LA for work, has been gone for 2 days, the house is a wreck, and the kids and I have been eating pizza and eggo waffles since he left, as I don't cook much. Oh wait, they also had Pb/j for lunch.

I'm leaving for a vacation with the kids only to visit my family, on Monday and I'm counting the seconds. Most of my family lives far away and haven't seen the kids in months-years and I've been promised I'll get a nap EVERY day.
 
#3 ·
I totally understand! DH has been looking at other job opportunities and all I can think is "PLEASE don't find anything until after this baby is born!!" We have wonderful insurance and I don't want to have to switch!!! I know it's selfish of me!
 
#4 ·
I sooo don't think you're a 'bad mom and wife' i'm getting to the point where i could support a system where they take all the pregnant women away to 'special facilites' not for society sake but for the mothers! spas, time, quiet, support, meals prepared for you, someone to clean the bathroom for you... sure, we could go visit our families if we wanted to....
 
#5 ·
I feel you! My DH owns 2 construction companies and just decided to buy a bagel and bbq joint on a whim last month and this month decided to buy a house to rent out and use as a workshop. We haven't actually had a paycheck in about 10 months and we were already paying 2 mortgages and I am at wits end!!!! I really try to be supportive, but I wish it could all just go away for a little bit. NO WAY could I go without my kids naps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#6 ·
Ugh. I could have written almost the same post today.
to you. We all need a break. The beach and trashy novel sound soooooo good right now.

I was talking to my friend today about how much harder motherhood is the way we do it; separated, alone. If we all lived in our little village now (or "teepees next door!" as she said it), raising our children together, I think it would be a different picture. A much less fatigued one, at the least.

sigh. Til my world changes to that, I'll be daydreaming about the beach with ya.
 
#7 ·
: bygones.

I am a bad mother. Seriously I want to walk out of my house today and never comeback. I don't even feel bad about this. The only thing keeping me here is my sense of responsibility. I don't want to rehash it, but my daughter had me balling my eyes out a few hours ago.

I'm done.
 
#8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Banana731 View Post
: bygones.

I am a bad mother. Seriously I want to walk out of my house today and never comeback. I don't even feel bad about this. The only thing keeping me here is my sense of responsibility. I don't want to rehash it, but my daughter had me balling my eyes out a few hours ago.

I'm done.

I with you! Maybe it is the three year old thing coming on around here. I don't know. I just know that for a few days now I have wanted nothing more than to have someone come in around 8 a.m., take care of dd, fix us both lunch, and not leave till dh gets home at night. It kinda scares me lately, because I don't really want to be a mom to the one I have, so what makes me think two will be a good idea?

I am all for the beach and a trashy novel. When do we leave?
 
#9 ·
I'm so glad I'm normal
My in laws came down last night to help me get ready for ds's birthday party. It's so nice to have help now and then. DH left for his interview last night, and I knew I wouldn't sleep alone in the house, so it was really great to have them stay with me. I just trying to ignore the whole "future" business and just do my thing.... We are just *so* pregnant right now, ya know?
 
#10 ·
ARghhhh, me too! My 20 month old ran around in circles this morning, her naked booty hopping around, and her toys every where, the floor soooo dirty, and another house guest here through the weekend....and I couldn't even lift a stinking finger. Beach? Novel? Please, take me there and have someone come here and watch DD and clean!...Thanks, that felt pretty good to write!
 
#11 ·
Can I come too??? We're expecting my parents for the weekend. They'll be here tomorrow evening and they are very... uncomfortable with dirt. My dad sees a fly in the house somewhere and he cant sit down and eat until its gone. My house is a disaster as my DD is apparently ready to potty train since she has FIVE TIMES today ripped off her diaper so that she could take a dump/pee on the carpet. Add that to the 2 kittens we rescued that apparently have forgotten how to use the litter box and the puppy that has no problem doing his business outside but saves some for inside... and slight a/c in only one room. I just want to run screaming.

Add do this that DH wants to move and find another job now which means we are going to be getting ready to move RIGHT after the baby is born (like... baby is due Oct 13th and he wants to start planning our move Nov 1st once his review is over and his company gets their "last shot" at giving him the raise he was promised. For some reason right before this all started I started my own online business too. Its just so much at once. My pelvic bones/area hurt SOOOO much all the time, getting up and down. I don't know what it is exactly but the ache/pain/ache stuff is really getting to me, since I have to get up and down for the kids so much.

I would give anything in the world to just go sit on the beach with a novel and my knitting somewhere and be able to sleep unaccosted. (I take 5 min cat naps throughout the day atm, and most of them end up w/ me being poked in the eye or my hair yanked or a toy brutally shoved under my nose...or better yet, the ear piercing not unhappy just want you to look at me scream that my 20 mo old has picked up)

We need a pregnant ladies retreat eh?
 
#12 ·
I'm in! I'm in!

I took my dogs' dog pillows out of their crates, and along with it, a zillion broken toys that the dogs were hoarding and although I washed their pillows, I haven't yet vacuumed. The living room is FULL of crap that needs to be vacuumed. It's screaming my name. I'm ignoring it. I'm also ignoring the vacuuming that basically needs to be done everywhere.

Let's not even discuss the children.
 
#13 ·
A little each day I guess. I am seriously overwhelmed. My spouse does not consider the fact that I am 8 months pregnant up all night with a 2yo cutting a molar a problem - nor the fact that I am usually awake for a few hours in the wee hours of the morning as I can't sleep - a reason to even think about helping out.

My spouse goes to work and that's it. He does bathe and give the toddler her supplements at night and walk the dog one or two times a day, but the remainder of everything home related falls on me.

I'd love to take a vacation, but where? Plus it would break my toddler's heart if I just bailed on her. I really miss her when I go run stupid errands without her, but then when I take her with me to visit family across country I just want to scream as it's SSDD with no help except in someone else's house.

SOooooooo I dunno. It just SUCKS!

Liz
 
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