I am truly at my wits end with my relationship.
I am a long time MDCer but do not want my username attatched to this.
I just need to vent anonymously.
I have been unhappy for awhile now.
My dp drinks too much.
He went to a strip club the other week, tried to hide it from me, and I found out. Was disgusted by his fratboy mentality.
He was so drunk the other night that he actually peed outside where any of our neighbors could have seen him. I told him I dont want to be with someone who gets drunk and does stupid things. I am too old for that sh*t!
He told me in a drunken stupor the other night that I was worthless, but then didnt remember the next day and said he was sorry....apologies dont mean sh*t after so many. It doesn't fix everything.
He is not respectful to me.
He doesn't appreciate me.
He makes me guilty when I dont want to have sex with him.
I am not physically attracted to him anymore.
I have nothing in common with him anymore.
I look forward to him going to bed.
I havent slept in the bed with him for days...I go downstairs and tell him the baby was restless...even when he's not...just so I dont have to share a bed with him.
I am not financially able to just walk out...but sometimes I dont even care. I just want to pick up the baby and bolt.
I should be sleeping, but instead I cant stop crying...
I have read so many heartbreaking stories on these boards over the years and truly admire you women who are brave enough to bear all...I guess I am just feeling ashamed that my life is not as perfect as I thought it was.
I feel like a failure.
Thanks for reading and goodnight.