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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello

I am not sure what else to do :(

My Daughter is 3 and a half, and not fully potty trained. She wants to be a big girl and wants to wear underwear but she as accidents all the time.

For example, if she goes 6 times in a day then only once will be in a potty.

I have her in pull ups most of the time because after months of having her in underwear and changing her 6 times a day. I couldn't keep up with the laundry.

I am trying the underwear thing again, but my caregiver when I am at work keeps her in pull ups.

I tell her to go to the potty, and she wont go. The an hour later I hear these words which drive me crazy

"Mommy, am I in underwear or pull ups" I respond " Underwear" and she response " I pee'd"

Even in wet underwear and pants, she could still play and not care. It's like it doesn't bother her.

I started a chart that I put a star up when she goes to the potty and take it away when she as an accident. Not sure if that is right, but I don't know what to do anymore.

I am positive when she does go to the potty, and we do a potty dance and I give her a candy.

I am just going crazy!!!!!!!!!!
 

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It sounds like she has really low awareness. It may be worth talking to her pediatrician if there's anywhere else this is a problem. If not, she just may not notice it when she's in the middle of things, because she's so used to diapers.

I'm not sure what you've tried, but you need to find a way to help her realize that she needs to pee.


Try ditching the underwear. She can't tell the difference between pull ups and underwear, going commando may actually be enough reminder that she isn't in a diaper- so she needs to use the potty.


A potty watch might help- it's a watch that goes off in specific increments to remind your child to use the potty. (kind of like telling kids to go to the bathroom before a long car ride)


Another method is to start with her naked- choose a period of time when you can be home with her all day for a few days. Play with her, just be around her and aware of that area. Because she's naked, you'll be able to notice as soon as possible, and hopefully help get her to start shifting her awareness to what she feels like before she has to pee.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you sillysapling for your post.

I am actually making progress with her, and she is doing really well. After a few days of accidents, she seemed to understand when she as to go.

She is in underwear all day, and she will tell me that she has to go or will just go on her own. When she is distracted with playing or watching TV, I do reminder her to go and she is not putting up such a fight. I just remind her that she won't get her star if she doesn't go to the potty.

She is still having half accidents about 2 times a day where she will pee a bit in her underwear (not soaking through to her pants) and then hold it and do the rest in the potty. I am unsure if I should worry about this being a medical issue yet, but will bring it up with her doctor at the next appointment.

I have been looking for a potty watch, but haven't found one in any stores. I live in Canada, and I have seen it in the US but I have had no luck finding here. I think this would be very helpful when she is distracted but also when she is being watched by the grandparent who doesn't remember to tell her to go.

Thanks again

-Angela
 

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I don't think you should worry, she's doing great and that she can now catch herself, stop, and go to the potty is a very good sign. If you're still worried or there are any other concerns, definitely bring it up, but it sounds to me like she's right on track. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
So...she is having accidents all the time. I am at a lost and so worried cause she is starting school in September

Sent from my SM-G386W using Tapatalk
 

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Have there been any big life events? Has she hit a developmental milestone or had a big change to her schedule? Potty regressions are very common.

Does she have any friends her age or a little older that are potty trained? Spending time around a potty trained kid and seeing them stop and use the potty could help. It's one of the reason younger siblings tend to potty train faster/easier, they have a role model.

Are you having her help clean up the accidents? Not in a punishing way, in a gentle "we made a mess, we clean it up" way. Very positive and kind, no judgement. Same as if she spilled some juice or accidentally knocked over blocks. Have a towel she can use to "clean" the floor, have her help with the clothes in some way (either put them in the washing machine, or in a sink to soak- whichever is most appropriate to you). Sometimes kids decide they don't want to use the potty because it's easier, and having them help clean up gets rid of that. Rather than it being "if I pee my pants, I can keep doing what I want to do and mommy will clean it up" it becomes "if I pee my pants, I have to stop what I'm doing and clean up".

There are professionals who can help with potty training. It may be time to call one in. I can't give you advice on who's good/etc, I've fortunately not had to resort to that yet. Talk to your pediatrician first, if you can.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
No big event changes recently.

She wears pull ups now again so maybe this is the issue, but that's only because I can't keep up with the accidents.

I don't usually make her clean up after her accidents, but she shows remorse when she does. I don't have any friends or family with kids that she can hang around with schedule and distance issues. I work full time, and during the days she is with her grandparents but they don't go to places with other kids. This is a huge disappointment to me, as when I was on mat leave I took her to programs and drop ins.

I am looking into a professional option, as I think I need assistance:grin:

Thank you for your advice and compassion
 

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A professional definitely could help. Especially with the work situation- they should be able to come up with a plan working around your schedule.
 
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