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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone. I am new to mothering, but I am glad I have found this forum. I am a young mom about to be a young single mom. I am the one asking for the divorce, but I am still nervous. I have been married for a long time and although I want it, it still scares me at the thought of going solo. My stbx is a bit of a problem as well. He is going back and forth on actually wanting a divorce and trying to get me to stay. I'm not sure what I am trying to say here, but it feels good to actually "tell" someone about my situation. Anyways, I look forward to reading and asking questions with moms who have btdt.
 

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Tell, Tell, Tell. I feel certian there are a lot of mama's here who would love to offer support in any way we can
I am fairly new to MDC also. It has been a breath of fresh air! Don't forget to check your tribe thread! Sending XXXXX&OOOOO your way mama~~~~~~~~~~Jess
 

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Welcome.
There are lots of great single parents on this board and everyone has a different situation.....and yet we all have things in common. Like many of us, you can get a lot of support, wisdom & experience here.
 

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WELCOME!!
I'm fairly new here too. I'm so grateful to find MDC. I know that you are afraid. Going it alone is scary sometimes but you seem very intuitive and I think you know in your heart that he is not the one for you. To stay for your child is unfair to everyone involved. We are women and we are strong. There will be good days and bad but you will come out of this smelling like a rose. Stay in tune with your little one and guide each other along the way. All the best!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for all of the replies and the "welcomes".

I am working hard here to keep going forward and not backwards, but it is hard at times. Our marriage is not bad perse, it's just loveless. I have been trying for close to two years to get him to talk with me. I would try and tell him how unhappy I was, how I was feeling and it was like he was in his own little world. He either did not see it or did not want to. Either way, we did not talk at all. I would talk, he would listen, then nothing.
And now I have had enough. I have actually met someone else who loves, understands and cares about me. He listens when I talk, he asks how I feel, and for once I have met my sexual match. Another thing that has long been lacking in my married life. I know that all sounds horrible (about the other man), but the stbx knows all about it. He knows I am in love with someone else (and still acts like our world is perfect). When he has moments of clarity, he tells me how unhappy he has been too, but then retracts the statements later or tells me if I work hard and meet him more than 50% of the way, we can make it. But how can I work towards that when I don't feel the desire to be with him? (OK, sometimes I still question it myself, but just for a second) And I have never been one to say stay with the husband for the sake of the child. Ahhh, just rambling now.
 

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Hi there:

I think you are right to be making a break with your spouse, even though it is very difficult right now and you are unsure of your path. In my opinion, your children will sense your misery and it does them no good to grow up in that kind of environment, regardless of whether or not you and your ex are civil to each other. Many of us have situations that are a little more cut & dried (i.e. abuse, alcoholism, abandonment etc.) - myself included - so it's hard to give advice based on personal experience.

Anyhow, welcome to you, and I'm glad you found us - this is a fantastic group of supportive moms.
 

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Sweetheart..I am so there with you. I could have typed your post myself. loveless marriage and lets face it. SEX is a big deal. I think some people were menat to be friends and some were meant to be more and sometimes we get that confused. let me put it this way.. My stbx isn't a bad guy. he is a good guy with bad social skills and an abrasive personality which me being the nurturer I am..could look past.. but when it comes dow to it..there is a HUGE difference between loving someone..and being IN love..I don't think I was ever in love..I think I wanted to make his life better and mine too and never paused to look at the fact that..I never got the butterflies. thats right..that wonderful quesy feeling you get when you think about someone special. there is a lid for every pot..and even though I am not looking for my lid just yet..I believe in destiny..and my butterfly guy is out there somewhere waiting patiently for me to find him. and until then ..I have the perfect man . MY son.
( he can't talk yet) oh just kidding...:p
Take some time to find yourself and concentrate on you..even before you start a relationship with the other guy..Just my humble opinion..good luck sister friend..the road is bumpy...but remember you have friends here to hold you hand if the going gets tough.
 
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