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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my second child. DS #1 is 28 months old. I was so exhausted today. So very tired. I desperately needed to nap with him. He wouldn't (couldn't) nap. He had just dozed off when he had a coughing spell. That was it for nap. He was up running around. I put on a video just for a break and because I could feel myself reaching a limit. He pooped. I cleaned him up. He pooped again. I cleaned it up. He then ran over to the Christmas tree and smashed an ornament (his third today). I lost it and smacked his little leg. Hard. I lost it. I burst into tears and felt like the biggest loser mom ever. My hormones are raging, but the exhaustion during the day is really hard right now.<br><br>
I see how this is all my fault, I truly do. He was able to reach breakable ornaments that I should have moved out of the way. Pooping and not being able to nap were not his fault. I am the adult and he is the child. I just wanted to die. It was the lowest mommy moment I've ever had.<br><br>
I never want this to happen again. I tried to call no fewer than four friends when I felt myself becoming so frustrated. No one was home. My husband was unreachable. I felt so alone.
 

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Oh, I'd so like to say that I had once had one of these days. Once. But I have had, over the lst 25 years, many of those days.<br><br>
What the heck is wrong with me, you think later. I'm as monster, I hurt my child, inflicted pain on a mere baby.<br><br>
Ok, so guilt won't do you any good. You did it, it's over. If your child is extremely verbal, an apology may help, though I think at this age it would only confuse.<br><br>
There are Parenting hotlines. I used to have the # taped to my phone, just in case I felt I was losing it. They are always there, waiting to help. They'll help talk you through. You should find the # now, whiule you're calm, but bummed. If taping it to your phone embarrasses you, then just put the #, with no identifying name, on the fridge.<br><br>
Now, remove those breakable ornaments, they're dangerous. If you NEED to have a gorgeous tree, buy a small one and put it on a table, out of reach. YOur tree will, over the next 20 years, acquire an asst. of ornaments you'll love, but it will never look the same!<br><br>
What would be better, video time, or mommy losing it? Put the tv in a safe place, maybe his room, put on that video and take a real nap. Your baby-to-be's health is important and so is yours. You're right, this wasn't his fault. Just fix what was wrong and try to do a job you'll be proud of.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond. I desperately needed to hear from somebody else who's been there and knows what it's like to feel like, as you said, a monster. I love seeing you've made it through with all your babies and have a wonderful business to boot. It inspired me.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I've been there- and done that- far more times than I'd like to admit <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"><br><br>
It's OK to not be perfect and it's OK to make mistakes. You have NOT scarred your child for life. You are not a monster. You're a human being who got overwhelmed and messed up.<br><br>
The fact that you're feeling absolutely awful about what happened shows that you haven't internalized hitting as being "normal." There are parents who hit their kids on a regular basis, don't feel bad about it, and recomend it to other parents as a "a good discipline technique," or worse, as "THE way to handle misbehaving children."<br><br>
You've already learned from this mistake, and are taking steps to avoid repeating it.
 
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