Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,245 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have been fighting and fighting to get my ds through all the hoops to get an official dx for him for over a year now. It’s been a very long journey in part because of the waitlists here, and partly because I have worked with a lot of the professionals and they have been incredibly thorough (read covering their behinds) because it’s my son.<br><br>
That having been said, we are one appointment away from an autism dx and I’m sitting here feeling not quite ready<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> I’m feeling a little teary at the thought of the label being "stamped" on him. Intellectually I know this ridiculous, on several different levels but the feeling is there none the less. On most days I feel completely ok with it all, just having a kind of a weak moment right now.<br><br>
I hear the babe waking up...but has anyone else struggled with this stage. I thought I would be shouting "whoo hooh" when we finally got to this point, and am feeling a little surprised at my reaction.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,971 Posts
For as hard as it is to be undx, the nice part is that you still can hold onto some hope that maybe, just maybe, they'll grow out of that. Getting a dx ends that dream. I thought the geneticist was going to give us a theory, and I found myself mentally bracing with an "Oh God, here it comes"...and feeling a little unsure about it. So I think it's perfectly normal. It makes what you think an actual reality. It's one thing to think "Hey, he might be this." And another thing to actually know for certain. Like I knew Maura needed something to correct her crossed eyes. And I thought I'd be fine with her getting glasses. I think glasses on little kids is adorable! But I still felt a twinge of sadness when it became an actuality. And then we found really cute glasses and have ones picked out for when she outgrows these <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,687 Posts
Yes, I'm dealing with that. It's heavy.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
504 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Yes, I've been there before over 3 years ago. It's ironic how I am really glad we have that diagnosis now. That "label" is what gets my DS services. He is very high functioning, and I'm not sure he would be able to get a diagnosis today because of all the interventions and the progress he has made.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
656 Posts
I've definitely been there. I, too, knew the Dx was just a formality that we had been waiting for, thought I was ready and actually relieved to have the evals done and official reports ... but hearing it and actually realizing that it was "real" was much harder than I had anticipated. It has been a year and a half now and I still have moments of sadness, kind of wishing we coud go back to the undiagnosed stage when we thought maybe, just maybe it's not true, even when the logical parts of our brains told us otherwise. I expect those moments will continue just because it can be such a difficult journey and because with autism, and other conditions, there are so many unknowns, but fortunately our son has given us many more reasons to celebrate than to grieve and while of course we live with the autism every day, that's not the first thing that comes to my mind when I look at him.<br><br>
Hugs to you!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
I understand. I'm expecting/hoping/dreading getting an AS diagnosis at an appointment tomorrow afternoon, for my 5yo. I'm surprised just how conflicted I feel. There's nothing easy about this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,591 Posts
You are definitely not alone - even if you "see it coming" it doesn't necessarily make it any easier. My daughter was dx'd in November and I knew it was coming but it still sucked. Good luck with the appointment and feel free to vent here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,245 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Thank you for all the support mamas<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I tried talking a bit about my feelings tonight with my dh and unfortunatley we are just at different stages and I came away feeling like I hadnt really been understood. It really means a lot to me that you all seem to know where I am coming from.<br><br>
Your posts just reaffirmed for me that these feelings are just the last bit of residual denial hanging on. We need this dx to help support him, to gain access to services and funding which otherwise just wouldnt be available to us. I think I need to cling to that for the next little while.<br><br>
I have a happy, healthy & thriving little guy who loves his Mama, Daddy, big bro (occasionally his little sister<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">) and knows that we love him. This dx isnt going to change that.<br><br>
mild_eep (did I spell that right?!?!) let us know how it goes for you tomorrow<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,933 Posts
I went through the same thing in September when my ds way dx'ed. I had known for over two years before then and I still cried. Before then I could kind of have a little hope when somebody said he would grow out of it.<br><br>
In the end we push for diagnosis to help support us getting services for him and we are getting more. He has not changed as a person and we still totally accept and love who he is.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top