[thistle]

I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. I cannot stay on a diet for ONE DAY!!

I am obese, my energy is limited, by BP is borderline high, my health is being compromised and I STILL can't do it. Health isn't enough motivator.

I look like crap. I hate shopping for clothes. I feel unattractive. Vanity isn't enough motivator.

I feel like I have no integrity when it comes to food. I teach stress managemetn!!! I talk about healthy this and organic that then scarf a Taco Bell 7 layer burrito and a Dr Pepper. Still not enough to motivate me.

I fear I will pass on bad habits to dd. THAT isn't enough motivator.

I KNOW how to lose weight, both healthfully and unhealthily. I know how to exercise- I just don't do it. I'm not even making excuses for not exercising any more. I am sneak eating.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I find a healthier stress management tool? Why can't I get my act together?

thistle

 

[MamaSoleil]

C'mon Thistle. Don't be so hard on yourself. Baby steps, don't attack everything at once.
Pls come back to the running thread. Get back into that mode, you were doing so well. And then, you'll feel more positive, and more able to tackle everything!!!

 

[kerc]

thistle I think for me all those things are intertwined. As in when I get out and move I am soooo less likely to crave the taco bell drive thru. And then if I do, well heck, I don't care so much because I know I will work at least some of it off.

For me, the key is to move, a little bit every day. I have major motivation problems with regards to getting out there. Somehow putting on the running shoes is a hurdle I have to jump every freakin day. But then when I do I feel so much better about myself.

So go for a walk around the block, a jog, whatever you feel like and come back to the running club we'll support your movement, whatever form it takes on.

 

[Sisyphus]

ITA with the pp's thoughts... moving is key for me, too

Have you considered doing some major soul searching on the WHY's in your life?? Why do you overeat? Why do you eat junk? Why do you not want to exercise? There are probably many more Why questions you can ask yourself. If you really sit down and take some time to really meditate on these questions, you might be surprised at the answers you find.

When I did this I realized that I overeat/drink to "medicate" my anxiety/boredom/fear, etc. I learned that at my mother's knee and am trying SO HARD not to pass that on to my kids. I realized that I have a hard time getting to the gym when I'm overwhelmed because I was brought up to believe that you do NOT do anything for yourself until EVERYTHING else is done... so I was feeling massively guilty because my house was a wreck and I was going to the gym... I also find that I look at my family and feel a sense of defeat... "what's the point of working so hard and trying so hard if my genetics are SO against me?" (I am the ONLY female in my family that isn't obese, even my extended family, cousins, etc. probably about 75% of them are obese).

I try to monitor my self talk... when I hear myself saying "I just don't FEEL like going to the gym today" I ask myself if I don't feel like it because I've been working hard lately and need another day off, or is it that I've been eating like crap and that's making me feel gross and I don't want to go to the gym and work it off???

See what I mean??? There's so much wrapped up in our eating and exercising... it goes so much further than "I have no self control"... or "I have no discipline"... KWIM???

Try one small change at a time... incremental changes are sustainable in the long haul. Don't look at it as the whole "enchilada" (LOL sorry for the food reference!) all at once.. ie. don't think "I've got to lose 100 lbs" take it in small "bites"... "I'm going to lose five pounds by labor day, or "I'm going to limit my fast food to twice a week this week" (personally, I prefer setting goals that aren't "weight" oriented, they help me focus more on the more important aspects like long term health and well being rather than on fitting into a pair of pants, kwim?). See if you can make one or two small changes each week and see how it goes. Journal your feelings, journal your food... sometimes, just knowing we have to be accountable to the journal helps us make better choices.

Most of all, be gentle on yourself. You wouldn't talk to anyone else the way you are talking about yourself, so lighten up. You have support here, use it!

HTH

Lo

 

[thistle]

I am feeling much better today. I am trying small changes. did 30 mins walking Thur & Fri, planning on going every day. Only eating at the kitchen table (big one) though I can have water at the computer. Trying to clean up my eating, but mostly my thinking right now.

I am re-reading the Dr Phil book.

Thanks for your kind words and support.

thistle

 

[savannah smiles]

Someone on this board recommended books by an author named Geneen Roth who writes about compulsive/emotional eating and how tho break the cycle. I'm only a few chapters into it and I'm finding it very,very helpful. Here's the website she has:
http://www.geneenroth.com/book.html

Just keep trying. It's a struggle for me to get my eating under control too. You're not alone.

 

[AahRee]

Thistle, I'm having the same struggles. I've been on weight watchers for a week and a half now, and I totally blew it today (again - I've blown it almosts every day this week). I know what to do, how to do it, and I do my best to set myself up for success, but I sabotage myself at every turn. I don't know why I do it! I'm trying to remember to start fresh every day, though, and that helps me. I hope you can find something that helps you, too. I'm here if you want a buddy!

 

[Boobiemama]

Wow, I could have written your post. but for some reason, some how about 3 months ago, hey 3 months exactly!!! I decided i had to change, I dont do perfect all the time, i dont exercise every day, but I am doing better! I have lost 37 pounds, and i have got to be healthier for that!

And you know what, i still occasionally get thosae taco bell cravings, and i sometimes do have that burrito supreme and diet pepsi!!! And man its good, but the next day i am back on track! one burrito wont kill you, its the 2 burritos every day, plus the ice cream, plus the soda, cookies, etc, etc. I have finally learned moderation!!

((hugs)) to you! keep on keeping on!

 

[cara]

I would like to recommend the book Count it as a vegetable and move on by Lynne Goldkang(amazon.com) Good luck , it is hard , something i feel i struggle with everyday!

 

[jake&zaxmom]

Oh, thistle...I'm right there with you. I am panicked at my seeming inability to break out of my self destructive eating cycle.

I am obese also and I am terrified that my children will become obese. (My husband is obese as well.) So far, my 4 year old is quite slender and has an extremely healthy diet and my 1 year old is well within the normal weight range for his age, but I worry.

One reason that I overeat is that I am so physically uncomfortable, food is really the only physical joy that I have. I know, I know, if I didn't have the food I would eventually start feeling better. I understand that but it is so hard to turn down feeling good right now.

Also, I binge because I truly intend to make a new start *tomorrow* I'll let you know when tomorrow gets here, it hasn't yet.

So I justify binge eating because it is always *the last time* I call it the *Last Supper Syndrome* I will think,"Well, I better finish off the ice cream because if it's here tomorrow, I will ruin my diet." This has gone on for 15 years. I'm losing hope. At the moment that I'm binge eating, I truly don't care but later I'm depressed about it.

My goal was to wait until I was a normal weight to have children, but as my childbearing years were slipping away I decided to take chances and go through 2 pregnancies obese. Luckily, both of my children were born healthy and perfect. My next goal was for my children to not remember me being fat. Since my oldest is 4 and I haven't made any significant progress, I've failed there too.

I want my children to be proud of their pretty mom. I don't want them to be ashamed and then feel guilty for being ashamed. I don't want to shortchange them. I just keep trying. I can't quit trying or all hope is lost.
As long as I'm trying, there's hope. Right?

I'll figure it out one day. I HAVE to.

 

[cara]

BOY ,
I can really relate with that jakeandzax mom,
i had such a hard day today, just couldn't or wouldn't stop eating
and i am not even sure why
i just didn't feel right
now i have to go to bed feeling sick and pray that tomorrow
i will do better
Lets all have a great healthy and lighter day tomorrow,

 

[cortsmommy]

 

[corrie43]

I can so relate to this. I am now trying herbalife because I am so desperate to be able to stay on a diet, but I'm even cheating on that. I feel like I just can not stop eating all day long. It is from stress, boredom, lonliness. I feel like I'm in such a destructive cycle right now.

I don't even want to be skinny, just fit in to a decent sized clothes and feel healthy. Not eating junk food all day long is my goal. I wouldn't even care if I ate all day if it was healthy food, but I just keep eating the junk.