[oceanbaby]

I am seriously going crazy over this.

Ds1 won't eat anything I make for dinner. He only wants to eat pb&j sandwiches, white pasta (I've tried whole wheat and other 'colors'), sometimes chicken, carrots only if they're in soup

, beans, white rice (won't touch brown), and fruit. And of course anything loaded with sugar. He harasses me all day long for junk. Everywhere we go, he is asking for whatever sweet thing he finds. If we have anything remotely sweet in the house he is nonstop badgering me for it. This morning he wanted two granola bars, carob chips, and jam straight from the jar.

There's no hiding veggies in food with him. If there is a green fleck on anything, he refuses to eat it. God forbid I put parsley on something. I've tried zucchini muffins - nope. I've tried hiding it in smoothies - nope. He would never touch anything "complex" like lasagna. I've tried putting veggies in his mac and cheese and he about had a heart attack. I baked some puffed mochi this morning (totally yummy I thought) and he refused to even try it, even when I put strawberry jam on it.

His lunches every day are the same thing, and I just don't know what else to do.

And ds2 will sometimes eat anything, and other times eat nothing. I know I should worry about him yet as he's only 11 months old, but I just feel like I'm failing both of these kids nutritionally.

I have a hard enough time getting dinner made every night (ha - a few times a week is more like it), and it's pretty uninspiring to know that ds1 isn't even going to eat it.

I don't know how this happened - we eat really healthy around here, lots of veggies, brown rice, etc. Where did I go wrong? How do I get him back on track? Or should I just let him eat pb&j 3x a day, every day, and not worry about it? This is really bumming me out.

 

[DaisyRose]

All natural peanutbutter on some whole wheat, whole grain bread with a sugar free jam is a pretty nutritious choice. Give yourself some peace of mind. Let him eat the PBJ, and then you can cook just what you like for dinner.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

 

[sohj]

Have to tried getting him to help in the preparation or choosing what foods to make for dinner?

Also, I once saw a really interesting picture book that explained what kind of foods people need to eat and why. Can't remember the name of it though. There was some kind of an explanation (in sinple terms) of why when we crave sweet things, we really need to eat protein, for example.

And, there is the problem of kids just going through food phases. As I recall, there was a year period when I was small when I would only eat cheese omlets. And it had to be monteray jack cheese.

Peanut butter is pretty good, btw. As long as he isn't allergic to it.

You could try getting a sourdough white bread, or even making some bread. Let him knead it and poke holes in it and you might even get him to eat pumpernickle with raisins.

 

[captain optimism]

We had a long thread about this a little while ago. There were two perspectives. One said, "Let the child eat anything that is on the dinner table" and the other said "Let the child eat anything you keep in the house." there were variations. Some moms said they let their children plan meals and that helped to have the "dinner table only" version work well. Some moms restricted foods they thought were unhealthy at the grocery store, and some didn't, in order to demystify "junk food."

I like the "anything we keep in the house", with the idea that I won't keep anything in the house that I don't want him to eat. I have started to let him have cold cereal when he requests it (since that is his FAVORITE treat!) and of course we give him apples and raisins every morning whenever. But he's a very good eater, really, lots of vegetables that other children won't touch. I have it very easy!

If I were in your position, with a child who has just turned four and is probably about to move out of this fear-of-new-foods stage, I would steam a plain green vegetable with every dinner (or lunch) for everyone to eat. I wouldn't hide it. Vegetables are less scary plain, and if he sees them frequently that way he can decide to try them. I also would give him pb&j on white bread every time he requests it. That's my thought. Others will have other strategies. I don't think he'll starve himself. Don't make yourself crazy and don't try to trick him.

 

[Mydragonboy]

I really like what Positive Discipline for Preschoolers has to say about this. Teach the kid to make two things: they suggest pb&j and a burrito with melted cheese (I personally don't want DS messing with my stove, so I try ot have already-made pasta and at least a veggie sauce in the fridge as his second choice). DS will always eat one of these. As long as you are offering (whether from the table or by virtue of his going into the cabinets, whichever your philosophy) a rounded diet he will end up being adequately nourished.

I also labor under the impression (it just struck me that it may well be erroneous) that one can get adequate nutrients from fruits, etc. without much veggie involvement. Is this true? Maybe not...

 

[4evermom]

Give me back my son! I think PB&J 3x a day is fine if it's natural peanut butter and jam (I splurge on organic for these) and whole grain bread. It's unlikely he'll eat only that for more than a week. My ds won't eat something excessively for more than 2 days, even ice cream.

 

[granolamom]

Great advice from mamas above...
Wanting to add....

My youngest was very much like your oldest. When she was about 4. I started letting her have one of the small grocery carts they had at our local store. She was allowed to chose one special fruit, one special Veggie, a cheese and then a few items from the mac/cheese area(we shopped at whole foods..you know where they have all the ANNIES products). The only rule was she couldn't chose the same thing two weeks in a row. This worked really great for her. It gave her "ownership" in her own meal planning and encourage her try new things. Now she is 11 and she plans 1-2 family meals per week. She even shops alone( of course I am in the store too!!)

Hope this helps,
Granolamom

 

[cjr]

granolamom, what a great idea. I have a super picky 7yo. She won't eat anything different and very few vegetables. I can hide them on her is soups and sauces, but that's it. She picks everything apart searching for things she doesn't like. DS is an awsome eater. He eat everything I eat. He loves lentils, beans, lots of vegetables. My middle child is inbetween.

With our oldest we gave her a night to cook dinner, supervised. Letting her go shopping and choose the menu is a great idea. I am going to do that with her this week and see what she comes up with.

 

[USAmma]

Abi was a very late starter with solids and a very picky eater for the longest time. She simply outgrew it. She saw other kids eating other foods and wanted to try them. Suddenly strawberries, which she refused to try at all, became her favorite food for a week b/c she saw someone else eating them.

Last night she ate black bean curry with brown rice, stir-fry bok choi, edamame, and veggie spring rolls. I never would have believed she would eat these foods a year ago.

 

[oceanbaby]

Thanks for all the ideas and encouragement. Dh thinks I am way too hard on myself. It just bugs me to no end that he won't eat veggies!

We are Whole Foods shoppers, so at least everything he is eating is whole grain and/or organic.

He does help me prep meals, but he still has no interest in trying most of them. I think I may give him his own basket at the store and see if that helps any. He already likes to help pick out food, so maybe I'll try having him pick a special veggie or something like that.

It's just so all over the place. One week he was eating edamame, and then he wouldn't touch it. At his preschool they made sushi one day (with veggies, not fish), and he ate about 5 of them, nori and all! But based on past experience, if I go out and get everything we need to make sushi, he won't touch it. So I get a little crazy when I meal plan based on what he liked yesterday, and then he won't touch it.

I have generally been in the "if we have it in the house" camp. And overall that has been working, but I guess I have been having moments of self doubt.

And then this morning, I went through this whole process of toasting and grinding grains for ds2. Then I cooked them, and added some blackstrap molasses, and he took one bite and spit it out. I ended up eating it myself. And then we had to run out of the house. I feel like the only thing this baby consistently eats is bananas! And he will usually eat pretty much anything I give him, but my cooking has been so all over the place that sometimes we just don't even have dinner.

Please forgive my rambling and whining - I am so tired (kids aren't sleeping at night), and just feeling really down about meals right now.

 

[fiddledebi]

I don't know if this will help, but dd is going through a phase where everything has to be a "snack." An invitation to dinner will usually get a "No thank you, I don't want any dinner" from her, but if we say, "Want to go get a snack?" she'll often be more amenable. As far as she's concerned, mac-n-cheese is a snack as much as goldfish crackers are a snack.

Another thing I noticed is that finger foods, arranged in a fun way, are a good thing in her world. A typical lunch these days is a pile of grape tomatoes (cut in half), a pile of little chunks of colby cheese, and a pile of crackers. I figure this is not much different, nutritionally, from her eating pizza for lunch. She drinks soy milk with it.

I also think too many strong tasting veggies are tough for kids -- we stick with peas, carrots, corn, fresh steamed broccoli, raw peppers, etc. She won't touch "salad" (cold veggie mixtures of any kind) but will eat frozen mixed veggies with cheez sauce (I make it out of nutritional yeast).

Also, what they say about kids not starving themselves I think is true for most kids. I have seen a few kids absolutely refuse to eat anything and have trouble because of it, but most kids will eventually eat enough. Look over the course of a week, not a day. I bet he's ok. Still, I know it's tough! Good luck!

 

[Leatherette]

I am in the same boat now with my 4 year old, but he is slowly adding new things (like the veggie medley garden burger, which actually has veggies in it, visible!). But I have an 18 month old who used to eat everything and is now throwing or refusing anything but tortilla chips, refried beans, fries, and snacks ( dry cereals, crackers, veggie booty). She often throws those things, too. She is on the all-carb, high sodium diet.

Thanks for starting this thread. It helps when other mamas put it in perspective, because it is frustrating when you are trying to be a good mom and give the kids all these healthy (and, you think, kid-friendly) foods, and they reject it.

L.

 

[crunchymamatobe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oceanbaby It just bugs me to no end that he won't eat veggies!

Now, this is a bit OT and not very nice, but you could go the route my DP's parents went when he was small and wouldn't eat vegetables: they told him that if he didn't eat veggies, he would end up with a colostomy and all the other kids would call him 'poo bag.'

 

[moonshine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oceanbaby Thanks for all the ideas and encouragement. Dh thinks I am way too hard on myself. It just bugs me to no end that he won't eat veggies! ... He does help me prep meals, but he still has no interest in trying most of them. I think I may give him his own basket at the store and see if that helps any. He already likes to help pick out food, so maybe I'll try having him pick a special veggie or something like that. ... It's just so all over the place. One week he was eating edamame, and then he wouldn't touch it. At his preschool they made sushi one day (with veggies, not fish), and he ate about 5 of them, nori and all! But based on past experience, if I go out and get everything we need to make sushi, he won't touch it. So I get a little crazy when I meal plan based on what he liked yesterday, and then he won't touch it. ... And then this morning, I went through this whole process of toasting and grinding grains for ds2. Then I cooked them, and added some blackstrap molasses, and he took one bite and spit it out. I ended up eating it myself. And then we had to run out of the house. I feel like the only thing this baby consistently eats is bananas! And he will usually eat pretty much anything I give him, but my cooking has been so all over the place that sometimes we just don't even have dinner.

You know, I wouldn't sweat it too much. As long as you are eating a variaty of healthy choices, eventually he will eat them too. I just changed my way of eating to include a ton more fruits and vegetables (Eat to Live). Since I am concentrating on making this work for me (just on Day 4), I offer what I have made for myself to them, but if they want their "staples," I am not worrying about it right now. And as far as that goes, their staples, while carb heavy, are pretty decent. DD2, 18 m, will eat more of a variety than DD1, 3.5. I think that it is the age. I try not to make it an issue, and hopefully we will get past this stage.

Oh, and I used to at times make a special meal for DD1 and she wouldn't eat it and it was so disappointing and frustrating for me that I just don't do it anymore. Too much pressure for all of us. So I just make sure that we have lots of healthy options and go from there.

I am assuming that as with most everything else we try to teach our kids, modeling is most important.

 

[Aeriane]

Hey I have the same issue, dd #3 (11/00) will ONLY eat rolls and ONLY PB and Fluff (hides from the flames) and cheese on the side. She'll eat a Pink Lady apple once in a while. DS#2 (12/02) is all about cheese and pastas. He likes meats once in a blue moon and both won't eat a veggie though I keep on offering. Luckily dd loves celery so that's always a nice snack with natural ranch dip or cream cheese.

Hang in there, it does get better, Kitty

 

[UUMom]

Sometimes children who refuse veggies, might eat fruit. Cut up fruit seems to be emotionally easier to handle for some kids rather than a large piece of uncut fruit. Blueberries in cream, or cutup strawberries with chunks of pineapple might appeal to some. Cooked pears are delish. I am trying to think of all the furits out there now that it's summer. Plums, peaches, kiwi (my 6 yr old cuts off the top and scoops the flesh out with a spoon. I don't even have to peel it. lol) Raspberries etc. i also wonder if kids are more prone to eat berries they've picked. Berry picking might be an option . Fruits off as much nutrition as veggies. Blueberries are full of amazing nutrients, fi. Not much of anything comes close.

I know presentation and very tiny portions are important to some kids. Would baby carrots appeal to him more than carrots sticks, or vice versa? I find sometimes sprinkling a small bit of salt on even cut carrots helps bring out a sweetness. Celery with a bit of nut butter or cream cheese stuffed inside can sometimes intrigue a kid. Nothing works with every kid or every time, obviously. Baked sweet potato fries are great. Slice a sweet potato into fries, as you would regular spud and rub on all side with olive oil. Spinkle with salt (and pepper if you like) and bake. You can also sprinkle with a little papkika or parsley as they are cooling.

I think it gets better. The more they are exposed to different foods, the more likely they will eat them. Keep offering.

 

[nancy926]

In our house, things become more appealing if we let DD dip them in something. That's about the only way she eats carrots (dipped in salad dressing or, yecchh, ketchup). We put the dip in a little cup and slice the carrots really thin and it's fun for her. We also used to get her to eat yogurt by giving her teddy grahams or something to "dunk" in it. (now she loves yogurt...lately it's been yogurt with blueberries and strawberries, every day.)

I would just keep offering healthy foods and making sure he sees that you are eating them. Right now DD wants nothing to do with most veggies, but we have them at every dinner so I figure eventually she'll want some, or possibly not. I have a couple of acquaintances who just don't eat veggies...and i'm sure their parents tried!

PS I love the little shopping cart idea!

 

[oceanbaby]

Well, he definitely eats fruit, and he loves frozen blueberries, so I guess I should feel okay about that. We had chicken teryaki for dinner last night, and he wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted a pb&j sandwich. So that's what he had. Then he wanted it again for breakfast this morning. Fine. He ate half and the other half went into his lunchbox with some cut up oranges, some cheese crackers, and something else that I am totally blanking on!

Ds2 made me feel better - he ate veggie barley soup for breakfast.

 

[nic]

I was a very picky eater growing up. Very. White pasta, white rice, pb&j, and creamed corn (oh, and chinese food if it was at the restaurant) -- and sweets, when I could get them. That's it. I gradually began eating a wider variety of foods as I got older. And now, I love all kinds of food, and eat very healthy. I'm also adventurous and like to try various ethnic foods, etc. I think most kids will grow out of it, even those with really strong food aversions.

That said, I do feel for you. I know I'd have a hard time if my dd was really picky. I'd worry...but would try not to.

Good luck.

Warmly,

Nicole

 

[beanma]

i hear you. rarely i make special food for the girls, but usually i just make supper for dh and me and then if they don't like it they can have whatever we can find for them that doesn't involve cooking. i just put a little bit of our meal (a ginormous salad last night w/ roasted beets, pears, apples, walnuts) on their plates and then give them some other stuff, too. they didn't go for the salad though the beets turning everything pink was mildly interesting. i did make annie's whole wheat mac-n-cheese w/ peas for 'em last night. usually they get something i know they'll eat for lunch (dd1 has been on a big amy's potpie kick lately) and they get what we have for supper or snacky things like apples, bread, etc. love the shopping cart idea, too.