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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
im just having such a bad day. i cant stop crying. nothing is worth it.<br>
i feel like i just cannot take it anymore.<br>
sorry for such a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: post.
 

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I've been having a hard time lately, too. I sure don't have any words, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
 

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I know what you mean<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Don't ever be sorry for expressing your feelings here. That's what we are here for. I hope you find your way out of this wave of sadness. I can only share that 14 months out, the waves don't come nearly as often or nearly as strong. I'm thinking of you.
 

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i think i emailed you once, i lost my baby on the same day you did ( april 25). i lnow exactly how you feel it feels like nothing is worth it anymore.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
Arturo Eric <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/angel2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Angel2"> 04-25-06
 

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I'm so sorry. I've also been struggling not to cry all day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
I also get upset over the littlest things. This morning it was discovering that DH accidentally left the fridge door open last night, which meant that I had to throw out all the perishable groceries I'd shopped for the other day, and a beautiful lasagna I'd spent an hour making the day before. I just have no bandwidth for this kind of thing anymore.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hugs to all you mamas. You are not alone. I am so sorry that you are going through such a sad sad time.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> In memory of all of our babies
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
thank you mamas for posting what you all did.<br>
i understand now what a lot of mamas meant when they talked about the two month mark. the reality hits.<br><br>
i have moments where i form the thought in my head that my baby died and at that instant i feel as though i could just stop existing.<br>
i hate this feeling.<br><br>
as happy as i am looking forward to being pregnant again i know that it wont be the baby that i lost. i almost feel like i cannot accept this reality.<br><br>
and i am also going INSANE wanting to be pregnant.<br><br>
hugs to you all<br><br>
Arturos mom-we share this day. Be strong.
 

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I sympathize as well....it's only been 11 days since my m/c and there are good days and bad...lately there had been a few good days in a row (like a whole 3 of them), but right now i don't feel like doing anything...just want to lay around...can't even find anything on tv that i will start watching and keep watching...i am constantly flipping channels, b/c i really don't want to watch anything...i dont' want to lay here feeling awful, but i don't want to do anything either....so i totally sympathize and understand. I've been sleeping a lot lately; during the day, night, doesn't matter....but right now i don't feel tired at all....i know if i get up and turn off the lights, i might fall asleep...but i don't want to even do that. And i'm here by myself, so i can't make anyone do it for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I was actually getting excited about the few good days in a row, as i'm soooooo sick of crying and feeling cruddy. I'm tired of the "oh, she's upset again" looks from ppl and tired of the "it'll get better"'s that ppl keep offering. But when i was having the good days, i was sick of the "you seem to be taking it very well"'s that ppl were saying then....<br><br>
I'm honestly not trying to hijack your thread.... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Thalia</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm so sorry. I've also been struggling not to cry all day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
I also get upset over the littlest things. This morning it was discovering that DH accidentally left the fridge door open last night, which meant that I had to throw out all the perishable groceries I'd shopped for the other day, and a beautiful lasagna I'd spent an hour making the day before. I just have no bandwidth for this kind of thing anymore.</div>
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Oh mama, I know exactly what you mean! It's like every little negative thing, regardless of how irrelevant, just rips open my soul again and sets me back. The worst was, two weeks after Wendy died, my manager threatened to quit because I'd called him on a guest's complaint. I could simply not tolerate the insensitivity and I got physically sick. Small things are only now beginning to slide off again without becoming oversized aggravations. It takes time though.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> to all of us in this forum.
 

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Mama to Sofie, it's perfectly OK to cry. It's so recent for you and there will be better moments than others.<br><br>
I know there is hope, and that time helps you find a way to live with your grief.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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"as happy as i am looking forward to being pregnant again i know that it wont be the baby that i lost. i almost feel like i cannot accept this reality."<br><br>
I don't know if you believe in this sort of thing, but from what I hear, if you do get pg again, it could be your baby coming back to you. Maybe you'll know when you look into her eyes? Maybe you'll get a feeling about it? or maybe it'll be a different soul and that'll be fine too. (my very good friend lost a baby, and her and I've spent alot of time talking about her sweet Zoe's soul). Hugs, mama.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jee'smom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"as happy as i am looking forward to being pregnant again i know that it wont be the baby that i lost. i almost feel like i cannot accept this reality."<br><br>
I don't know if you believe in this sort of thing, but from what I hear, if you do get pg again, it could be your baby coming back to you. Maybe you'll know when you look into her eyes? Maybe you'll get a feeling about it? or maybe it'll be a different soul and that'll be fine too. (my very good friend lost a baby, and her and I've spent alot of time talking about her sweet Zoe's soul). Hugs, mama.</div>
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A spirit baby- there is a beautiful story about them in Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent...I believe very much in them. And it makes all the difference.<br>
Hugs mama... and everyone else who has lost their baby. I am so so so sorry. I cannot imagine what it must be like.
 
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