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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've seen many other posts about this, but I juat had to say......really, one hour to fall asleep every time????
: And that's one hour of fitting and fighting and rolling and toddling....Good Lord, where's the valium. I am sooooooo annoyed.
:
 

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yep.
I just quit "trying" to get my girl to sleep and let her get up till she fell asleep or asked to go to bed.
I figured that if its consistently taking an hour, then she's just not ready to go to sleep at that time.
Consider that if you usually go to bed at 11pm, and fall asleep around then, but someone makes you go to bed and lie down at 10 pm. you're not sleepy yet, its boring.
We all have occasional nights when we cant get to sleep, and we get up, read a book, watch TV, have a snack, whatever. No one forces us to stay lying in bed staring at the celing, its boring.

and yes, sometimes my toddler is up till after midnight, sometimes I even go to bed before her. once she was walking confidently, we started taking her jogging before bedtime. we'd go out and literally 'run' her for 20 mins, she'd have a great time running, chasing and catching us, laughing and hyper, and then, suddenly, she'd go "mama, I'm tired, put me in the sling" and she'd pass out INSTANTLY.
 

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My DS fights sleep every single time he needs to go down. I know he is tired (sometimes exhausted) because of his signs, but he still resists. My choices are to sling him, which he is starting to hate and still takes a good hour to hour and a half, or to walk with him in my arms for sometimes hours (last time we did this it was 2.75 to be exact). He cries and wriggles and fusses. Last month he would occasionally fall asleep on his own...not anymore. But, DH is so much more patient and sometimes more effective.
 

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i fall into this trap a lot... it's the trick of partial reinforcement - they seem sleepy, you try to help them get to sleep, and they keep seeming like they're about to go down, and yet they don't, and you keep getting strung along. if he just didn't seem likely to go down at all i would know that right away and stop trying... but usually i keep thinking it'll just be another 5 minutes, hang in there......

i can't help but beat myself up with the idea that this isn't going to work when we have two kids.

have you tried a little earlier? a little later? i also will just set a time limit for myself so i don't get so darn frustrated... i'll say 15 minutes and then if you're not asleep we're going to be up and playing for a while...

usually, though, if it's taking forever to put him down but he's acting really tired it's because something is bothering him and it will take herculean efforts of distracting and comforting him for him to forget about it and go to sleep. i've rescued many a never-ending bedtime by either getting him to go potty or bringing him a light snack - if he didn't eat much at dinner he can get hungry again by bedtime to the point where just nursing isn't enough
 

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I hear ya- at 12:00am last night ds was STILL fighting sleep- we tried a bath, running around in the yard (neighbors must think we are insane), playing quietly, chasing him around the house, nursing, nursing, and more nursing...
:

so at 12:00 I had just had it- I left ds with dp and went out to my car to sit and curse and pray "please let this child go to sleep!!!" I had a horrible day yesterday and really could not deal with it. I can't say I didn't think of just driving away...but after about 15 min I had calmed down enough to come back in. ds went to sleep at 12:30.

I cannot figure out what the problem is either- no matter how early or late the nap is, no matter what time he gets up in the morning or how much energy he as used running around he still has not gone to sleep earlier than 11:30 in 2 weeks. I really hope this is not going to end up just being his sleep pattern.
 

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hugs to you mammas - my dd always took one hour + to go to sleep - it really was nearly the end of me - the good news is that now she goes to sleep on her own easily - usually in about 15/20 mins and sometimes in about 5 mins - so hang on in there ..........
 

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hugs mama. Really though if you hate laying around for an hour, just let the little one get up for a little longer or later and have them go to sleep with you when you go to bed for the night, they can adjust to it and take a little longer nap or sleep a little later. I don't bother with the separate bedtimes anymore at this point with toddler and baby, we all go down at 930 on a normal night. Takes about 10-20 min for us all to go to sleep. Just try different stuff if you are really unhappy.
 

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Me too!!!!! Also, I go to sleep with DD, so her bedtime is my bedtime and half the time I'm way tireder than her. It takes much more than an hour sometimes. And getting up to play instead is fine for a couple of minutes, but usually she really is very tired and strung out, so she won't play happily any more than she will cuddle and go to sleep. Bizarrely she seems to have chosen night time as milestone time. Last night she crawled for the first time and I was so tired I didn't even care, I just wanted her to lie down again! Every milestone recently - pushing herself to sitting position, pulling herself to stand - has happened after 9 pm when she is very tired and just running on adrenaline while I'm trying to get her to lie down and go to sleep.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ok, so what is it with these kids????? Obviously this happens to other people, is this common? How do people cope??? I have logged so many hours with sleep routines and holding and rocking and blah blah blah that i am about to (well maybe I already have
) throw this whole thing out the window! But dh thinks it's neglectful to let a run-ragged tired child just be that way.
All I know is that I donlt have the internal faculties to cope with the annoyance of laying there with her for so long, laying her down opver and over again. I have tried letting her walk around, she gets so tired that she starts stumbling! I have tried earlier, later, less nap, etc...the only thing that seems to work is running her ragged and letting her pass out from sheer exhaustion, either in the stroller or car on the way home, or sometimes in her bed if she's really tired.
 

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Same thing for us over here. Ds won't go to sleep until he's absolutely exhausted. Dh and I always laugh about how he'd stick toothpicks in his eyes to hold them open if he could!


But seriously, after 2 1/2 years of nursing to sleep for hours and hours, I'm exhausted and resentful. My ds has to suck to sleep, so I'm a human pacifier as well. That's b/c when he was a babe the only way I could get him to sleep was to keep nursing him (and it STILL took 3 hours to get him to sleep every night). But now he has a powerful sleep-nurse association that's making the sleep routine even more difficult. Ugh.

Sorry I don't have any words of advice. Just commisseration.
 

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I've taken to laying down with ds, first I nurse him then I put him on his tummy and kinda throw my leg over his legs, then I snuggle him like that for about 20 min untill he falls asleep. Sometimes he keeps lifting hs head up and saying "nope" but I just gently push it back down and pat his back. Some times this can take an hour and then what really kills me is when he wakes up 20 mn later. Honestly though, he has the best naps when I just lay down with him, we strip down and cuddle under the covers, if I sleep with him he'll sleep for about 2 hours. The only problem is...I never get anything done!
 

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Well, you can see from my post time (it's 2:03 where I am and DD is STILL awake!) that I am another fellow commiserator!! I was up super late with her last night, then I passed the point of exhaustion and got a second wind and couldn't sleep myself until FIVE AM. DH worked today and then was home for about an hour with us and then went to a religious festival that lasted until the wee hours and he just got home at about 1 am. I foolishly stayed home because I'm trying to push her bedtime to 8-9ish and institute a more consistent bedtime routine. HAHAHAHA! After nursing her endlessly my nipples were flatter than pancakes and my breast was covered with scratch marks where she rolls and pinches, and still no sleep. I turned her over to him and he put on some mellow music and I think he's rocking her. I don't hear screaming, so frankly I don't even care what they're doing, as long as I don't have to deal with it!!!
 

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Oh kavita, I so understand where you are coming from - a couple nights ago I got so exasperated I just thrust DD at DH and said, you're putting her to sleep, you're on your own, I'm done. Even though she is having sep anxiety these days and will cry when I hand her to DH. I am not happy with myself about this but I felt like I was going to lose it.

Oh, and I only WISH DD would nurse to sleep. I would be so happy if she would just lie there and nurse. But after nursing, her thing is to stick her thumb in her mouth and roll away...which these days, gives her ample time to realize she might as well just sit herself up and crawl around...
 

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Unfortunately I belong here too... my 2 yr old DD has lately taken more than 1 hr to fall asleep. Recently she's been pulling the 'almost asleep' trick as well, then suddenly (after like 1/2 hr rocking her) popping her head and cheerily saying "hello mommy!" .

What sometimes works is that when we realize she will just not fall asleep, we'll take her to our living room, leave the lights off there (but they're on elsewhere so its not totally dark) and ask her to sit still on the sofa. No tv, no toys, etc. Sometimes she'll just lay there quietly and fall asleep, sometimes she'll call for us or ask for something (tv, water, book, etc). Then again sometimes she'll bounce off the sofa and cling to me literally crying for mommy.

The bummer is that after falling asleep like at midnight she'll sometimes wake up 3-4 hrs later, and toss like crazy in bed while clinging to me. She'll easily do that for 2 hrs, so that's 2 hrs I get no sleep either! And she ONLY wants me, so DH can't help me much unfortunately.

I think that DD is teething her molars, and though she doesn't complain maybe its keeping her awake?

All I know is that I'm exhausted at work with only 4 hrs sleep! At least my SADH gets a few more hrs sleep to help him cope with Miss Energy Ball.

ZZzzzzz!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by momandmore2
Same thing for us over here. Ds won't go to sleep until he's absolutely exhausted. Dh and I always laugh about how he'd stick toothpicks in his eyes to hold them open if he could!

:

So true. My DD will never admit defeat (aka being tired and ready for bed).
 

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Last night ds wouldn't let go of my boob. He just wanted to hang on to it all night long. He wasn't nursing or anything, he just wanted to snuggle it. After about a couple hours of trying to get him off me so I could sleep I finally rolled over and let him cry until dh woke up and took care of him. Some times I get so miffed because ds will cry for like 2 seconds and I will immediatly wake up and see what he needs, but with dh he won't jump into action untill after about 5 mins and then he'll be all "Whats wrong with him?" I feel like screaming ...nothing jack ***, it's just your turn to help!

Do you know I actually over heard ds tell one of his friends that he's glad I breastfeed because it means that he doesn't have to get up at night to help! ****!

Sorry, just a little vent.
 

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Just logged on because I am losing my sanity....ds is almost 5....cosleeped his whole life, didn't sleep more than 2 hours until he was three and now still takes an hour plus to go to sleep....he gets up at 6:30 to get ready for school....biologically goes to bed at ll pm or later.....help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My only sanctuary is to crawl into bed and fall asleep before him.....ignoring the tossing turning and kitty kneeding he does...
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