[meandmine]

what it could be like as a single mom, free from my stbx's editorializing about my choices, values, etc.

Today was such a lovely day (compared to yesterday) -- I had made the kids clean up thier trashed playroom (I helped, of course) after dinner. We all got a good night's sleep by some miracle and this am, finished cleaning the playroom (really improved my spirits), made beds and trotted ourselves off to the farmer's market (they *loved* the sun warmed, fresh strawberries and even cherries).

It was SO nice!

I was in such a peaceful mood that I was even productive; got calls made, a couple of errands run (after I dropped my older dd at at school). This could be life post-divorce--a nice one.

I wouldn't mind this divorce if my girls and I could just continue to live our blessed lives -- slow moving mornings, keeping the house tidy (not one of my stbx's values), visits to the farmers' market (before PM kindergarten). Ahhhhh.

Sadly, the divorce will cost me that precious lifestyle ... working world, here I come, with childcare and tight schedules.

I hope I can find a balance between this gentle life we now lead (sans spouse ) and the pressure cooker life most of the woh families I see in my area lead. I hope I can find a middle ground that keeps us afloat financially and allows us precious together time ...

Just thinking out loud here where I think folks might understand ...

Today was a good day and gave me hope!

Thanks!

M

 

[Mama_of_1]

I know completely how you feel. I am counting the days until STBX moves out on the 30th. He's not DS's bio but has been in our lives since DS was 1.5. Working has not been the joy that I needed it to be but it allows us to stay in the home we bought just a year ago, have food to eat, good neighbors to play with and our own rooms with plenty of space. Working allows me to pay for DS's martial arts training so he can continue on his dream of making it to the olympics. Working gives me perspective.

Things do start to look up when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm ready to move forward, having spent time by myself reconnecting to who I am and healing my emotional being. I will, naturally, smudge and bless the house after he moves out. And, change the locks.

One day at a time...

 

[Viewfinder]

It paints a lovely picture, and I hold it in my mind for you to keep it going... It sounds like you and your girls will definitely have smoother sailing ahead whether you have tighter schedules or not.

VF

 

[meandmine]

Thanks y'all for your thoughts.

The day continued nicely -- my older dd had her class concert and kindergarten awards. We got rained out of a visit to the community pool, but I made a nice dinner with the fresh lettuce and wax beans I had bought at the farmers market ...

Of course my stbx had nothing nice to say about the dinner I prepared and.
left the dishes all over the counter (I had a school meeting after dinner) ...

This is why life may be better without him ... that nice fresh meal and he has no appreciation and offers no support (doing dishes).

Not every day will be perfect. Oh my there are going to be struggles. Today I go down to my old workplace to get reacquainted and ask someone to write me a letter of reference for a job application ...

But, thanks for being here and sharing values; the Mothering Single Parenting board seems like a really supportive place.

M

 

[Purplehaze]

I find myself in this same space... Depending on what you can do for work, it might mean that if you are willing to make some frugal choices that you can afford to only have to work part time. I have been doing a lot of thinking outside the box to try and figure out which direction to go in...

Have you been to your states CS calculator to figure out what you should be getting for that? considered asking for SS? I do not mind the thought of working part time (after 13 years SAHMing) but thoughts of working full time kind of send me into anxiety attack mode.

:

I have been really brainstorming as to what skills I have that could be useful to make money while being at home. What could I and the kids do to make money. I have some up with a few answers that might help for me- crafts fairs are a posibilty, watching a child part time might work, evening child care, occasionally, then i think working part time might be enough.

 

[meandmine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purplehaze I find myself in this same space... Depending on what you can do for work, it might mean that if you are willing to make some frugal choices that you can afford to only have to work part time. I have been doing a lot of thinking outside the box to try and figure out which direction to go in... Yes, me too. Have you been to your states CS calculator to figure out what you should be getting for that? considered asking for SS? I do not mind the thought of working part time (after 13 years SAHMing) but thoughts of working full time kind of send me into anxiety attack mode. : Me too! PT ok, FT scarey, at least initially. I have been really brainstorming as to what skills I have that could be useful to make money while being at home.

Me, too ...

I was thinking of working at my younger dd's preschool (she will be in kindy) five mornings a week and then watching a friend's child after school for five days -- total of 32 work hours a week (almost full-time) at probably $10 an hour, but no benefits and I might have to pay self-employment taxes for the latter. It only makes sense if my spousal and child support don't get reduced because of it, though -- if they cut support because I am earning a lousy $1300 a month then it makes no sense. Catch 22 isn't it?

Still, I am exploring my options. Had a good get-together with former colleagues today ... at a minimum I will get a letter of reference and they may even have part-time openings.

GL to us all and bless our sweet innocent children!

M