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Hello ladies,
On December 5, 2008, at eight weeks and five days, my DH & I lost our precious baby, Aiden Taylor.
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This is the most awful thing that has happened to me, especially since we tried for almost a year and a half to conceive. My OB gave me the option of waiting for the baby to pass, or I could have a D&C. I needed this to be over, and I couldn't bear to see my baby's remains, so I chose to have a D&C. The day of the surgery, I checked my e-mail shortly before I left for the hospital, and a supposed "friend" of mine sent me a nasty e-mail, saying I had no right to give the baby Taylor for a middle name, because that is her nephew's name (my husband and I chose a unisex name because we didn't know, nor were we planning to, find out the gender). I was grieving enough as it is, and this was beyond a cruel blow. But this was just the beginning.
My older sister, who was always been my best friend and protector, sent out an e-mail to our family and friends explaining that I was having surgery and that my husband and I needed time and space to grieve. She also gave suggestions of what people should not say to us because even though people mean well, they can often say hurtful things without realizing it. She was trying to protect us from this.
Well, this woman who yelled at me about her nephew's name, and her sister-in-law (another aunt to the same nephew, who incidentally happens to be my godson), both told my sister she was rude, offensive, and they were just downright horrible to her. They have sent repetitive e-mails verbally attacking her, and now one of them sent an e-mail to me to make sure that not only am I included on the verbal attacks, but now she's going after my mother as well!
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I obviously realized these women were never true friends to begin with, and they are immediately cut from my life. I am normally a peacemaker and a forgiving person, but I cannot forgive how cruel they have been to my family. One of them even went through a miscarriage herself a number of years ago, so I expected her of all people to empathize.
Other than the experience with these two women, everyone has been beyond kind, compassionate, and thoughtful to my family and me. I still cannot get past the fact that anyone could be so hurtful and cruel when I am going through the most painful time in my life. It is absolutely incomprehensible.
I am having such a hard time dealing with everything that is happening. I am often still in shock. It still hasn't hit me that when July of next year is here, I will not be bringing home a baby. What's even harder is that the baby was due two days before our wedding anniversary. Minor things hit me when I least expect it. For instance, when I was going through my checkbook and found an appointment card for my next scheduled ultrasound, I lost it. I also had to go back to the E.R. after excessive bleeding following my D&C. While in the waiting room, a woman came into the hospital who was in labor. I broke down & couldn't stop crying. Some days I feel like I'm going to be fine. Other days, I feel like I can't go on. I knew from the moment I found out we lost Aiden that I was in for a very unpredictable emotional roller coaster of pain and grief.
What I never in a million years expected is that two people who I was stupid enough to previously think were my friends would turn so cruelly against my family and me. I cannot even begin to process this. I feel like I'm back in elementary school, and the kids are bullying me on the playground all over again.
I'm sorry to vent about this. I have heard many things about the grieving process, which I went through before when I lost my baby sister when I was eight, but this one just blindsided me. I feel so despondent and so hopeless, and I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to me.
God bless you,
Kristin
On December 5, 2008, at eight weeks and five days, my DH & I lost our precious baby, Aiden Taylor.
My older sister, who was always been my best friend and protector, sent out an e-mail to our family and friends explaining that I was having surgery and that my husband and I needed time and space to grieve. She also gave suggestions of what people should not say to us because even though people mean well, they can often say hurtful things without realizing it. She was trying to protect us from this.
Well, this woman who yelled at me about her nephew's name, and her sister-in-law (another aunt to the same nephew, who incidentally happens to be my godson), both told my sister she was rude, offensive, and they were just downright horrible to her. They have sent repetitive e-mails verbally attacking her, and now one of them sent an e-mail to me to make sure that not only am I included on the verbal attacks, but now she's going after my mother as well!
Other than the experience with these two women, everyone has been beyond kind, compassionate, and thoughtful to my family and me. I still cannot get past the fact that anyone could be so hurtful and cruel when I am going through the most painful time in my life. It is absolutely incomprehensible.
I am having such a hard time dealing with everything that is happening. I am often still in shock. It still hasn't hit me that when July of next year is here, I will not be bringing home a baby. What's even harder is that the baby was due two days before our wedding anniversary. Minor things hit me when I least expect it. For instance, when I was going through my checkbook and found an appointment card for my next scheduled ultrasound, I lost it. I also had to go back to the E.R. after excessive bleeding following my D&C. While in the waiting room, a woman came into the hospital who was in labor. I broke down & couldn't stop crying. Some days I feel like I'm going to be fine. Other days, I feel like I can't go on. I knew from the moment I found out we lost Aiden that I was in for a very unpredictable emotional roller coaster of pain and grief.
What I never in a million years expected is that two people who I was stupid enough to previously think were my friends would turn so cruelly against my family and me. I cannot even begin to process this. I feel like I'm back in elementary school, and the kids are bullying me on the playground all over again.
I'm sorry to vent about this. I have heard many things about the grieving process, which I went through before when I lost my baby sister when I was eight, but this one just blindsided me. I feel so despondent and so hopeless, and I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to me.
God bless you,
Kristin
