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I'm not really sure how I feel about this, but I need to get it out.<br><br>
I've been in and out of therapy for about 10 years, and on and off medication. My current diagnoses are OCD and recurrent depression.<br><br>
I went in for my normal monthly appointment on Monday. I've been with this therapist for nearly 3 years, and I *love* her. She's just what I need as far as a therapist goes. I also have a psychiatrist that I see a few times a year. I'm on daily medication, and I'm fine with that. I really am. I like myself better on the medication than off.<br><br>
Anyway, during my appointment, my therapist (N) asked me if I've ever been tested for AD/HD. I told her no, but that a while ago I thought that I might have it and had mentioned it to my psychiatrist (they work in the same building and *do* communicate with each other). He (my psychiatrist) had told me that a lot of the symptoms of AD/HD mimic symptoms of depression, so we needed to get my depression more under control before worrying about that. I was fine with that answer (naive?) and things *have* seemed better since.<br><br>
So anyway, N, pulls out a checklist and asked me a bunch of questions. I answered yes to a lot of them, and she said that she thinks that it would be "worth the time" to test me for it. So, I have an appointment scheduled with her on May 11th to do a 90 minute test. I will find out 2 weeks at a visit with my psychiatrist if I have it or not.<br><br>
They also sent me home with 2 questioneers to fill out; one for recently, and one for as a child (I had my mom fill that one out). I don't know how the scoring works, but I answered "very often" or "frequently" for all but 1 or 2 of the questions on the "recent" sheet.<br><br>
N asked me how I felt by this, and I told her that I had mixed emotions. I have had 2 "quacks" diagnose me in the past...one after an hour of meeting me, sitting with my mom who diagnosed me with OCD (I was a self-mutilator and she said I "obsessed about cutting myself and then compulsively cut myself")...and the other "knew" me, but said I had AD/HD because one of the medications that I was on that was supposed to be taken in the morning made me tired so I took it at night. Nothing was done past either of those "mentions".<br><br>
I told her though, that because I had a relationship with her, I trusted her. She also said that she had seen "red flags" before, but didn't want to say anything since nothing could be done if I was pregnant or lactating (this is only the second visit I've had with her, ever, where I haven't been either!). Before she brought this up, she asked if I was completely done nursing and I had told her yes.<br><br>
I just don't know how I feel about this. The only people I've known in real life who have/had AD/HD were really obnoxious little boys. I've never known and adult, and I've never known a female with it. So, in my mind, and the way I view how the public reacts to AD/HD, it seems like such a "negative" diagnosis.<br><br>
But, at the same time, if it could HELP me...then I'm all for it. The things that she listed as red flags, are things that my mom and I struggle to deal with often, and if that could be alleviated, then that's great!<br><br>
I just really don't know what to think. And I'm probably making a super huge deal about it, considering the appointment is still a couple weeks away, and I won't know anything after <i>that</i> for a couple <i>more</i> weeks. I just really need to get it off my chest, and I'm not sure ow to broach the topic with any of my real life friends.<br><br>
I guess, just hugs, prayers, a BTDT story, and maybe a link or two about AD/HD is all I'm asking for.<br><br>
If you made it this far, I thank you. It feels good to get it out! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> No advice.... just wanted to give ya a hug.
 

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Ahhh, what a relief to get that off of your chest! I'm sure that your history of anxiety and depression make the possibility of having yet <i>another</i> diagnosis a pretty scary prospect. But it sounds like you're in a VERY GOOD PLACE. You have a professional support system that you trust, and they think that you are stable enough to have this "lesser" problem looked into. That is a good thing! The best way to get through this time is to remember that there is nothing that you can do *right now* to change any of this. When you get the test results, *then* you can do something. If you find that you're constantly worrying about it, give yourself 5, 10, 15 minutes each day to actively worry your pretty little head off then STOP. No more. Limit worrying only to that time; the rest of the time is yours for more peaceful and productive thoughts.<br><br>
Re. the stereotypes of hyperactive little boys - do some poking around on the 'net regarding demographics of ADHD. Ask your therapist what a "typical" ADHD patient is like. I think you'll find that they come in all shapes and sizes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Like any other brain disorder, it's hard to know who's got it and who doesn't, esp now that we have such helpful medications. Keep us posted on how you're doing and hang in there!
 

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That sounds really frustrating. Sadly, self-injurers tend to get an awful lot of junk diagnoses, been there, done that.<br><br>
You're doing great though--thinking the issues through, wanting information but being aware of the potential ramifications of the information.<br><br>
I think an important thing to remember at this point is that it is not antoehr set of words and numbers that pin you down, put you in a box, define you. It's just a way of classifying things that you do and have trouble with to make meds and things simpler. Having another diagnosis will not change you. The only things that are going to change are the ways you are going to look for to keep getting and staying better.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>tie-dyed</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7955777"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think an important thing to remember at this point is that it is not another set of words and numbers that pin you down, put you in a box, define you. It's just a way of classifying things that you do and have trouble with to make meds and things simpler. Having another diagnosis will not change you. The only things that are going to change are the ways you are going to look for to keep getting and staying better.</div>
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yep! this sounds like a great way to look at it. my MIL and my mate are both ADHD and i think his sister is as well. it's sometimes hard for me to deal with because they are both hyper organized and can't have lots of noise or distractions around where i am happy and relaxed in chaos and activity. my MIL takes meds and my mate used to but has stopped because he used to abuse them. i honestly didn't notice a difference in him on meds or not. my MIL swears that it makes a huge difference for her.<br><br>
good luck.
 
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