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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have given birth 4 times. The first one was a stillbirth in hospital. 2nd was induced hospital, overmedicated. The third was in hospital, but not overly medicated, but with an epidural towards the end. The fourth was in a birthing center in water and completely natural.<br><br>
The natural childbirth was very liberating and healing. It gave me confidence in my body. I believe it helped my son not have complications because his shoulders were huge and he would have been stuck if I hadn't been able to feel to push(I believe).<br><br>
I'm so tired. This is an unplanned pregnancy and I have 3 active children at home. I don't want to work for this. I want to go to the hospital and let someone take care of me for 2 days. I don't want to feel the pain. I no longer feel the need to have a healing birth. But...I loved my midwives and know that it was a much healthier and personal experience for my husband and children as well as for me. I can't use my midwives and birth in a hospital.<br><br>
I have to choose a dr. soon. I've been using my naturapath for tests, etc. I won't be able to do that for much longer. And, in addition to that, my naturapath is sending me to have an ultrasound to rule out twins tomorrow. If it's twins, I'll be even more conflicted!<br><br>
Anyone else had/have this experience? What did you do? Where you happy with your choice?<br><br>
Lisa
 

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Or to a hotel for a few days after. Have a postpartum doula go with you to pamper you as you babymoon.
 

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This seems like something you'll have to answer for yourself.<br><br>
But I can relate somewhat. I'm on my 4th baby - big big surprise. I'm 25 wks. and I'm not sure dh has completely recovered from the shock yet. When I found out, I wasn't excited like I usually am. I normally can't wait to get in to see a mw, chat, start my pregnancy. I ended up not going in until 17 wks and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know how far along you are but there's no rush imo. Some people or insurance co. aren't okay with that but, the truth is, you have time to figure this out.<br><br>
I've never birthed in a hospital so that didn't enter my mind. I went the other direction - ucing. It's right for us this time around. I can feel it. I know that's not what you are contemplating but take the time you need. Or go to the ob/mw and tell them you aren't sure where you'll birth but you just want prenatal care. Frankly, I'd find a good mw and be honest. Maybe she can talk you through this. After 2 appts. (17 wks. and 21 wks.) dh came around about ucing and I had to talk to the mw. She was great. She was very understanding and caring. Whether or not I end up ucing, it doesn't matter right now. I feel at ease since I have the support and patience of dh and the mw.<br><br>
So basically, I haven't made my choice. It's fine. I'm not pushing it. I'm just taking care of myself the best I can and trying to figure out what I want to do.
 

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I'd go with the hospital birth. I've always delivered in a hospital and it's been wonderful.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. It sounds like the real decision has little to do with the birth, and a lot to do with your care before and after the birth.<br><br>
Do you have someone (dp, friend?) that can give you an evening or two per week off, to go take a yoga class, go to a movie, go for coffee with a friend, hide under a blanket and cry? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You sound like you need some immediate support so you can prepare yourself for a new babe.<br><br>
Also, do you have someone that can come take care of you at home after the birth? Can you plan for a family member or friend to come and stay and pamper you, play with your children and run the mechanics of the home while you bond with baby and recover?<br><br>
I really hope you can find these things no matter what type of birth you decide on, because you sound very tired and worn out, and like you could use some time for you.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lil_earthmomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10730924"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. It sounds like the real decision has little to do with the birth, and a lot to do with your care before and after the birth.<br><br>
Do you have someone (dp, friend?) that can give you an evening or two per week off, to go take a yoga class, go to a movie, go for coffee with a friend, hide under a blanket and cry? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You sound like you need some immediate support so you can prepare yourself for a new babe.<br><br>
Also, do you have someone that can come take care of you at home after the birth? Can you plan for a family member or friend to come and stay and pamper you, play with your children and run the mechanics of the home while you bond with baby and recover?<br><br>
I really hope you can find these things no matter what type of birth you decide on, because you sound very tired and worn out, and like you could use some time for you.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I would look at what you feel like you need right <b>now</b>. What kind of prenatal care do you want? If you really like/want your mws, then why not start with them? They will probably give you more of the pampering type of care you may need during your pg. Be honest with them about possibly wanting an epidural this time around. I'm sure there's a hospital you can transfer to during birth if you want the pain relief. Maybe just knowing you have that option will put less pressure on you. You don't "have" to have a natural birth. You may not know what kind of scenario will work best for THIS baby until you're actually in labor. If you start out in the hospital, it's much harder to change your mind in mid-stream and say, "No, I'd really rather go to the birth center!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Also, consider what will happen after the birth. Laboring at the birth center may seem more daunting right now... but what kind of birth will make recovery easier for you? What kind of shape was your body/mind in after each of your other births?<br><br>
Good luck, and I hope you find a great pp doula to help out, or maybe just hire a teenager as a mother's helper to play with the older kids!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, the decision has been made for me. I'm carrying identical twins in one sac who are very close to each other. I'm ok with it though. No wonder I'm so tired!<br><br>
Lisa
 

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Well, congrats! That's actually pretty neat.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama, your intuition was preparing you to be open to hospital birth, which is a big help!<br><br>
As for how tired and worn down you feel, I still think you need to find some you time, and I hope you can get it!
 

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Can you not stay more than a day in the birth center if you pay extra for it?
 

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Congrats on the twins! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Well, now you know where you're going...you can still have whichever birth you want...if you want natural (provided things continue to go along smoothly) or some medication. I would say to have a birth and pp doula for sure.....a pp doula can be really a big help with twins and helping mama out, even though I know you have other family at home.
 

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Please take care of yourself. If the hospital attracted you so much because someone would pamper you for 2 days then listen to that. I mean, ask someone a friend or family member or doula or someone to come and pamper you! Let yourself lie in bed. Let someone bring you food. And when you are ready to get up make sure you have some help throughout he week...someone to take the older one's outside to play while you sleep while the babies sleep...and that sort of thing. A helper can bring the babies to you when they need to nurse. This can be worked out.<br><br>
I really hope you will do this.<br>
Your kids will learn so much from seeing you ask for what you want and take care of yourself. And, you will benefit from some nurturing too.<br>
I'm guilty of this too but I've learned a lot from taking care of me too. I wish you the very best.<br><br>
Congratulations!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10739693"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Why would twins be a reason to automatically go to the hospital? Is there a reason besides your own preference?</div>
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I don't know where she lives but in my state, where direct-entry midwives are fully legal and licensed, they still cannot deliver twins at home. My MW said her license explicitly says that she must transfer care for delivery in the case of twins and breech presentation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks for all of the replies and well wishes. A friend of mine knows someone who wants to take on a house to clean and I think I'm going to call her to come once a week. That would make a huge difference.<br><br>
As for the hospital. It looks like the babies are so close together in one sac that there may not be a membrane between them. They looked like this 8. And we only saw one yolk sac, which means that they might share a placenta (well, when one forms). Now, if they find a membrane, I might try to find a more natural provider. The ob specializing in twins said that I'd be pretty much guaranteed to have a cesarean. If there is a membrane, my best chance at a natural childbirth would be a midwife. The specialist's reaction to my hopes of a homebirth was to kind of shrug it off as if it would be dangerous. While doing research, I'm finding that that might not be so.<br><br>
I'm going to take the advice of some of the women here and see my old midwife for at least the first half. She's right next to this hospital anyway. That seems to make the most sense to me.<br><br>
Thanks again!<br>
Lisa<br>
Lisa
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Well, scratch that. My old midwife can't even see me for a twin pregnancy<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
Darn!
 

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Congratulations on the twins, Lisa! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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