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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is my gaughters mantra it seems. She is 3.5 and I have recently decided to homeschool. We do a homeschool preschool group with the familes of her friends and we also do Before Five in a ROw.

Anything she tries if she doesn't get it the FIRST time she falls on the floor crying, "I can't do it." She won't snap out of it and it is hard to get her to try again. It is so frustrating. I have noticed though, when we are at preschool and I am tending to her brothers, and another mom helps her with something, she does not do that routine. And if she does she snaps out of it much easier.

ALso, when we were reading our BFIAR book yesterday when I was trying to discuss it with her she wanted nothing but to jump on the bed or run away and if I stopped she would cry and tell me she didn't want me to stop. I would start again, and she would continue the same disinterested jumping and playing.

Is this normal preschool age stuff or am I going to have a hard time with homeschooloing her? I want to do these fun things with her but sometimes she makes it so difficult and i get really down about HS her.

Any advice, suggestions?

TIA
 

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When my dd was 3.5, she learned much better if she jumped up and down or ran around in circles or did something else physical while we worked. Well, we didn't really "work", but if we were saying the alphabet or reading books or counting or drawing letters or something like that, she would do a lot of physical activity throughout. Now that she's 7, she's more likely to sit still when learning new things, but it's not guaranteed.
 

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When my son was 3 he wasn't ready either (and I have a 3.3 year old who is not ready for any kind of lessons either). My son was almost 5 before we started any kind of "gentle lessons" and even now we don't do formal instruction everyday and then we don't do it for very long when we do and we stop when he's frustrated. I think you have to be careful about not making them dig in their heels so much they won't respond. The best thing might be to back off and give her some space and come at it from a different approach later.
 

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he was not ready for BFIAR until he was 5. My girls weren't ready until they were 4 1/2- 4 3/4 years old.

I think your daughter may be too young. I know BFIAR says it's for 2-4 year olds but I used it for my 5-6 year olds. She could also have just had a bad day! Don't give up!
(In my home we are using BFIAR, FIAR, and Beyond FIAR.)

My youngest is now 3 years 8 mos and he will listen to the stories but not much else. He goes to speech therapy and occupational theapy. The OT is first and it helps him in ST because OT is all about movement like swinging and doing things like cutting paper whereas ST is about sitting in his seat and playing with a toy. Each session is only 30 minutes long.

Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 10 (AS), 9, 7, and 45 mos (HFA)
 

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In my personal experience....3.5 is a very challenging funky age. The book Your 3Year Old by Ames and Ilg lays it all out very nicely.
:

Oh...wanted to add...my eldest who is now 6.5 was my most intense 3.5yo. I was lost with him and in tears daily because of the way he would act. At one point we wondered if he was possessed. LOL! But now, he is the sweetest, most easygoing little guy, and just amazes me daily. He loves learning, doesnt get frustrated so easily, and he is NOTHING like he was at 3.5.
 

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What's happening now likely has no bearing whatsoever on your future homeschooling. She's three. I would just back off for a while and let her do what she wants. We're fairly structured with homeschooling stuff here, but not with a three year old. Dd (3.5) does work when she wants to. Ds (6.5) is the one who has actual stuff to do.
 

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I would drop it all entirely. 100%.

At 3.5, some children are loving lots of school-type things. Others won't be ready for several years


A good homeschool readiness thing to do would be to establish gentle rhythms and routines for her day, and spend as much time as possible outdoors. Use books just for what they are, without adding discussion and activities until she's older.

(my two cents)
 

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What is the rush?

She'll let you know when she is ready. Let her play, be imaginative, finger paint.....all without you giving her an agenda.

She's telling you she doesn't want to do "school".......she is a bit young for "school at home".

Just let her be a 3.5 year old.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alana View Post
In my personal experience....3.5 is a very challenging funky age. The book Your 3Year Old by Ames and Ilg lays it all out very nicely.
:

Oh...wanted to add...my eldest who is now 6.5 was my most intense 3.5yo. I was lost with him and in tears daily because of the way he would act. At one point we wondered if he was possessed. LOL! But now, he is the sweetest, most easygoing little guy, and just amazes me daily. He loves learning, doesnt get frustrated so easily, and he is NOTHING like he was at 3.5.
Thanks, this makes me feel better! LOL!
 

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I agree she's too young. We are doing structured school but my 6 year old does a lot more than my 4.5 year old. The 4.5 year old only does a couple of pages in an alphabet book and counts numbers with some frog counters. Another thought - I know a lot of people are into the literature approach. I was too, I even bought Sonlight curriculum which is a lot of reading out loud. I thought my kids would like it but they absolutely hated it! It even got the point where they didn't want me to read ever. I realized very quickly they are both workbook kids. They love, love, love workbooks and will beg me to do more pages when I say its time for lunch. Originally I thought workbooks were not the best way to teach but you have to work with YOUR child and what works for them. FWIW my kids also hated BFIAR.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks for all the input. She does love to be read to and she really does enjoy BFIAR, her attention span is not really there so I am going to follow her cues far as discussions about it go.
 

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Great responses already, but I'll add just one thought. I think the teaching/learning relationship between the mom and the child is often different than it is between another adult and the child. A mom is a lot closer in - which can feel somehow more invasive. It's a lot more casual with someone else - they're not in the chlid's emotional space so much. That's hard to articulate - I hope it makes sense. But I couldn't agree more about just dropping the stuff she's not for ready for or interested in.


Here's a page of articles about preschool/kindergarten - and beneath the box of articles are annotated links to websites that have fun actitivities to do with little ones. - Lillian
 
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