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As I write this, it is now 4:45am.. My 2yr old has had me and dh up since 1:05am..<br><br>
He is getting absolutely ridiculous, that I can't handle him, and I don't know what to do..<br><br>
For the amount of joy he brings me, is almost the amount of hell he brings me.<br><br>
Every thing is a cycle here, no matter how much I try to make his life easier, he makes it worse for me.. I can't handle it anymore, I'm tired, I'm pregnant, I'm over-extended. I've had it..<br><br>
I think the reason he's up tonight is because, I choose to see my oncologist without him.. Oh, I left him w/ dh, for those two hrs, but now, mom has to pay.. He's a picky eater.. No matter what tactic I try to get him to eat, if he doesn't want to eat, he won't eat. I doesn't matter if we sit at the table, if we sit in the living room, if I give him a grazing plate, if I let him pick out what he wants from the fridge, if he doesn't want to eat, he won't... But again I have to suffer, as since we co-sleep w/ him.. If he's hungry, he'll wake up in the middle of night, and toss and turn until we get him a sippy cup of milk. If we are fast enough, he will most likely go back to sleep, but tonight is a different story..<br><br>
Another reason on why he's not sleeping tonight, is because I left for two hrs, mind you, not to get my hair done, or a manicure, or to go shopping, the reason I was out for 2 hrs was to see my oncologist, to make sure I didn't have any signs of a recurrence of cancer... But again god forbid I do that for myself..<br><br>
So since I was gone, he decided he wasn't going to nap.. So now, I have hell to pay.. I feel like I made the mistake of co-sleeping and nursing him to sleep as a baby, and now, if I'm not there, he won't sleep.. Even at night, when we are asleep, when he's in a deep sleep he's fine. But if he's in a light sleep, he needs to touch me at all times.. Ever since I weaned him, he's had to have a constant hand on my breast as a comfort measure. Well now, god forbid, my body starts going numb, and I try to re-position myself at night, he will wake himself up and I have to lay back on my back, so he can have his hands on my chest.<br><br>
Everything is ridiculous. I can't handle him. Did I mess up along the way? Should I have been tougher on him when he was a baby?<br><br>
What am I suppossed to do? I try and extensively tire him out during the day.. Ever time I offer to take him to the playground, he refuses. Anytime we need to run an errand, its a struggle to get him dressed w/o a tantrum.. He protests everything!!! When we are at the store, he's usually flipping out, trying to climb out of the cart, and god forbid I buckle him in, he'll start throwing his body. When we go to the park, he's fine, until we leave, which isn't a big deal I understand his frustration there. But when we go to the playground in our development, we always leave on an unpleasant circumstance.. The other day, we left w/ him kicking and screaming because, I wouldn't let him play in a area, that could only be describes as a dumping ground. There was garbage, broken glass and dead greenery. We left w/ him screaming as I gave him several warnings, to leave the area, or we were leaving and he flipped.. Upon our walk home, he decided to hide under someone's porch, I waited for him to come out, I left his sight, hoping he'd wonder where I was, and come out, but no, I had to crawl in the dirt, pregnant, to drag him out.<br><br>
Another reason for the not-sleeping tonight, is because he has a cold.. All because of "music class".. He's enrolled in music class. It's 1x a week for 45min. He loves it, and for the most part is very interactive.. And I'm happy to do it, but he has gotten sick every single week, since we've enrolled in this new class.. Like clockwork, he gets sick the next day, and it will last for about 4 days. He'll be fine for 2, and then it starts all over again. Maybe he'd be more pleasant, if he would tolerate any kind of medication or sodium ascorbate, but he'll just hit my hand out of the way.<br><br>
I ignore his tantrums, I reward and give verbal praise to his "pleasant behavior". We spend hrs each day cuddling. He is not by any means ignored, but why can't he work with me?<br><br>
What am I suppossed to do? Am I suppossed to put him in a toddler bed, and let him figure out what's he suppossed to do from there? I can't force feed him, what do I do there? What do I do in terms of running errands? I've tried, before naps, I've tried after naps, I've tried going, while waking him up from a nap in the car?<br><br>
I don't have much help, especially in the support department. The only family close is dh's, and they are very mainstream, CIO. Other support I have, probably think I'm too nice to him and again he needs to "toughen up" or CIO..<br><br>
I have this guilt, as I'm really the only one around, and I must have caused this? Any other support I've gotten was from my "attachment parenting" sister who tells me this is all due because I weaned him at 1, to start chemotherapy for my cancer.<br><br>
Please let me know what to do, as I really don't know what to do, besides getting a full time job, to pay for the daycare, I'm considering putting him in. I feel like apparently I'm making him like this, and he's better off without me.'<br><br>
And as I write this, the reason for this whole "cycle" is because he's tired, and because he's probably hungry. But he won't do either?<br><br>
Please give me advice... I'll probably be able to give you more info, with your questions.
 

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I'm on my way out but omg and many hugs and I have an 18 month old who sounds soooo similar and I'm due in a few weeks. I feel EXACTLY the same way, he is too much for me to handle <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama!!<br><br>
I don't know if any of this will help, but I couldn't read without throwing out some ideas.<br><br>
- Is he getting his molars by any chance? My 26 month old DD has been getting hers for the last month, and she's been a mess (both at night and during the day).<br><br>
- My DD won't eat at home--she'll nibble a bit, but I discovered that if you call something a picnic and head outside, she'll eat loads! So, we eat a lot of meals at parks, at a sandbox down the street from us, on a bench in our backyard, in a field near our house. She's also more likely to eat if she's in a mei tai or sling or if she's in the stroller.<br><br>
- Have you tried smoothies? You can pack a whole meal into a smoothie, and they don't even know it. A typical smoothie for us is frozen berries, a banana, some juice, cashew butter (there isn't much of a nutty taste to it), kale (you can't taste it), coconut oil, half an avocado (can't taste it--just makes it creamy), flax oil. I only really taste the fruit in these smoothies, and my DD LOVES them. And the bonus is that if I use a straw, she'll eat even more.<br><br>
- You've probably tried this, but my 2 year old refuses to nap anymore unless there is movement--she'll only fall asleep in a car or in a sling/mei tai. I can then put her down, but she won't fall asleep without the movement. Has your DH tried either wearing him down to sleep or using the car?<br><br>
- I also ALWAYS carry a ringsling with me when we're out. It's a lifesaver when she has one of those moments like you had at the dumping ground--I don't like to do things to her against her will, but sometimes I do have to just slip the ringsling over her head, lift her up on my hip and she'll calm right down. If I strap her in the stroller, I have a hysterical child on my hands. But the body contact and the swaddling effect from the sling works wonders.<br><br>
- And I hear you on the getting sick thing!! I take my DD to an indoor playgroup, and EVERY SINGLE TIME we get sick a few days later and she's up all night for almost a week. It's just not worth it to me for 90 minutes of playtime!?! (I relented and went last week and we came home with pinkeye) So, I've tried to avoid indoor play events for a few months, at least until the sick season passes. We spend a lot of time outdoors, even when the weather isn't so good (good raingear and rain boots have been essential).<br><br>
I don't know if those will help. I hope others have some good ideas for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mighty-mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7955892"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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I think the reason he's up tonight is because, I choose to see my oncologist without him.. Oh, I left him w/ dh, for those two hrs, but now, mom has to pay..<br><br>
Another reason on why he's not sleeping tonight, is because I left for two hrs, mind you, not to get my hair done, or a manicure, or to go shopping, the reason I was out for 2 hrs was to see my oncologist, to make sure I didn't have any signs of a recurrence of cancer... But again god forbid I do that for myself..<br><br></div>
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<br><br>
I know you're tired, but he's really not purposely trying to punish you. He's too young for that.
 

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I am not sure what you should do, but I know one thing you should not do. You should not feel badly for going by yourself to the doctor, or even if you did have nails and hair done. For goodness sake, you are human and you have needs and wants too. I don't think it is unreasonable to take some time for yourself if you need it.
 

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Sounds dietary to me. Sounds very familiar. Most toddlers I know have an insufficient diet and that's what causes the "terrible 2s" etc.<br><br>
My son was about that much trouble, and we found a couple of things: 1. he cannot tolerate refined sugar in any degree and other sweeteners only in small amounts-- suagr makes him have a hard time sleeping and a picky eater 2. MSG, same thing. Now MSG is in anything that has "yeast extract" "autolyzed yeast" "hydrolyzed vegetable (or soy) protien" or simply "spices" (if they're natural spices they'll actually list the real spices, not say "spices". Unfortunately a lot of "natural" and organic foods have these additives too. 3. He can't have too much dairy, but a little bit is fine.<br><br>
4. Also I didn't realize he wasn't getting enough fats. Toddlers need about 6 tablespoons a day of natural fats. I use mainly cultured organic butter and coconut oil, and occasionally some whole fat organic dairy products.<br><br>
We also started giving him eggs every day. Every day I make him scrambled eggs, and a strawberry smoothie (we call it strawberry ice cream!). In the smoothie I put a raw egg yolk and coconut oil, a little grade B organic maple syrup (grade B is the unrefined kind) a small amount of milk or yogurt, and frozen organic strawberries. Sometimes a banana. (I believe there to be no danger of salmonella from raw, organic, free range eggs. All cases of salmonella from eggs were always from regular commercial eggs which are harvested in deplorably filthy conditions.)<br><br>
I know it can be daunting to try to change the diet when you have such a picky eater, but having a picky eater is often a SIGN of an allergy/nutritional deficiency. Gabe is no longer anywhere near as picky as he once was. We had hiom on an elimination diet, and for a while, wheat was off-limits. Bread is one of his favorite things. Afte a while, he stopped asking for it. He found other things he enjoyed. And after we took ou all of his favorite things (almost) he started trying some new things.<br><br>
So, now he is on this special diet described above. Yes we spend a lot of money on food (about $170 a week for a two adults, a toddler, and a nursing baby), no we don't have much money at all, so that is a huge expense for us, but for our peace of mind and our future, it is worth it. Now, he actually takes his nap and falls asleep pretty easily at night. He doesn't wake up in the night anymore. He is docile and sweet and relatively quiet during the day. He is more "connected" with me. Intellectually he is progressing by leaps and bounds, and he is finally potty training (he is 2.5) and it is going so smoothly! All this since we switched his diet.<br><br>
I strongly urge you and any mothers experiencing so much trouble to try a dietary change for your child. I used to cry over missing my sweet baby and the connection we used to have when I wasn't mad at him half the time. Now I have my sweet little boy back and it means the world to me. Good luck to you!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LionTigerBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7956106"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds dietary to me. Sounds very familiar. Most toddlers I know have an insufficient diet and that's what causes the "terrible 2s" etc.</div>
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That is SUCH a good point! I've often noticed that my DD's behavior is 99% about nutrition.
 

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thanks mama's.. I've read your posts, but I'll come back and read them again when I'm more coherant<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Man, this sounds really hard. I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time.<br><br>
A couple thoughts:<br>
He's not <i>trying</i> to make your life hell, really he isn't. He's not making you pay for things, he really isn't. I know it can feel that way for sure. So maybe address the issues one at a time so you don't feel like he is. People have already mentioned diet. I also find I get more food into ds if I pop bites into his mouth while he's doing other things. (Not force bites, just hold them next to his mouth and he opens up.)<br><br>
You mentioned exercise: for one thing, maybe not "offering" to go to the playground, just doing it and making sure he gets lots of running-around time regardless of whether he asks to go to the park or not. He's only 2, he's not really at the point he should be able to choose to stay at home, if you know what I mean. I also find switching up the kind of outdoor time we do keeps things fresh: sometimes we go to the playground, sometimes we run around an open area (a college campus), sometimes we push his doll stroller up and down the sidewalk, sometimes we kick a ball around.<br><br>
In terms of the sleep thing, it can be SO frustrating! No, you do not need to be "tougher," just find a routine that works for all of you and lovingly stick with it. I recently read Pantley's "No cry sleep solution for toddlers," and I really liked a lot of the ideas she had. I think one thing that really helped us was coming up with a plan and STICKING to it (once we saw that ds liked it) for a month. That's how long it can take. For example, we now have a full hour to 90 minutes of bedtime routine, including bath and lots of book reading on the bed, snuggled up together. I also find that listening to quiet music (on headphones) keeps me sane when ds is taking a while to go down. That way I'm not sitting there getting resentful and angry at him. He's still just a baby, after all. Ds is now sleeping for an 8-hour stretch, and wakes up only once to nurse. It's much, much better. But it involved a real gearing-up, mentally and emotionally, for things to change. And it was CRUCIAL, for us, not to view it as a battle, but a loving way to help ds sleep better and longer, and help me get more sleep so I could function during the day. In the meantime, some creative problem solving might help, eg, keeping a sippy cup of milk by the bed in a cooler just in case.<br><br>
Hang in there. It really does sound like you need a change, and I hope things go much better. Tackle the issues one at a time, and maybe think of it as a partnership between you and dh and ds. Tough, yes, but worth it!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry things are tough for you right now! I don't have all the answers but did want share my experiences. When I was pregnant with dd2, dd1 went through a phase where she would wake up around 2:00AM and it would often take her until 5 to get back to sleep. I think part of it was hunger. We started feeding her high protein snacks before bedtime. She is also a finicky eater, so we started getting creative with how we fed her this snack. We invented "dog toast". It was toasted bread with tahini and we would bark like dogs, growl like bears, whatever as we were eating it. We also fed her off our plates at meal times and like a pp mentioned we popped food in her mouth during other things. Food always tastes better from someone else' plate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> I hope things improve for you soon.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I also find that listening to quiet music (on headphones) keeps me sane when ds is taking a while to go down.</td>
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That's a great idea. I might have to try that.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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Grade B doesn't mean that it is unrefined. Maple is graded based on flavor and color which changes as the season progresses. Fancy and AA grades are made at the beginning of the season when the sap is at it's sweetest and as the season progresses the sap becomes darker and more bitter creating grades B and C. What you want is <b>pure</b> maple syrup and from there decide what flavor you like. Typically fancy is more of a dessert maple syrup and grades B and C are used for cooking due to the strong flavor.
 

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thanks again..<br><br>
I have a few minutes.. I really think the majority of the time he's "too busy" too eat.. He does have his "favorite" foods that, you'd thinik he'd want, but there are days, he's not interested..<br><br>
He isn't really into carbs, besides croutons? And he loves loves loves cottage cheese.. He is a dairy nut, and he'll eat yogurt. Fruit he likes, but will only eat a bit or two, unless it's watermelon. He also loves dried fruit. But he goes on binges.. He'll enjoy foods, and then doesn't want them. He has foods he likes, it just seems like he's too busy to eat.. He'll eat some dinner.. He loves fried eggs. Veggies, he really won't touch, I've tried using "dipping sauces", and he just licks the sauce of the veggie. I think the problem last night, was my dh missed the window for him to eat.. DS seems to eat nothing all day, he'll nap and then when he wakes up around 3ish, he's starving.. This is a great opportunity to feed him really healthy choices as he's starving.. But dh missed it.<br><br>
I've read both NCSS for infants and toddler, and we do have a sleep routine.. The most frustrating thing he does is, he'll be 1/2 asleep, not moving, and then all of a sudden he jars up, and it starts all over again..<br>
I think at night a lot relates to the old nursing days.. Instead of nursing he has his hands on my breasts.. I think if it's there, he thinks he needs it.. Last night when I finally had enough and went out here to type, he curled up next to dh and went to sleep. Other times I've tried this, he'll start screaming and it doesn't work.. Most times, I can't even get up to pee, as it wakes him up, and then it's hard to get him back to sleep.<br><br>
Time and time again, it seems he realizes I'm at my breaking point and then he simmer downs..<br>
Maybe I'm feeling the pinch w/ a new baby coming, but it's driving me crazy..<br><br>
He is a pleasant boy for the most part, very loving, comforting. But if he's hungry or tired, every little thing escalates..<br><br>
I'm really going to make a conscience effort on looking at his diet and looking for allergy symptoms.. I'm also going to try the smoothie tricks.. As a pinch, I've given him organic baby food that I've frozen and tell him it's sherbert. But he won't take this all the time..<br><br>
I've tried slinging ever since he was little. He really hates being constrained like that.. He'll sit w/ me and read stories and cuddle, but he is always on the run, otherwise.<br><br>
I just pray my new little son won't be so high needs..<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Hugs. It is really hard when you're pregnant. The hardest time with my DS was the month before I had my DD. He was 20 months.<br><br>
You might do a little reading on the continuum concept. It really changed the way I think about parenting my toddler.<br><br>
It seems a little odd that you said that he seemed to be super angry, perhaps punishing you? because you left for 2 hours? You said you were paying for it? What did he do? That seems kind of strange...<br><br>
GL!
 

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How about making sure there is a little routine in his day, as well as some limits? My dd seemed to do better when I structured her days and stuck to the plan. Kids like routine, even though it can be hard for us as adults.<br><br>
We'd get dressed, do teeth & hair, eat, go outside or do a project together indoors, lunch and nap. The nap part was key; even if I had to lay down with her. We did it every day, at the same time. It turns out more sleep makes my dd a nicer person. Afternoons were 'running around time.' Also, I used a bedtime routine (dinner, bath, stories, bed) to help her go to bed at a reasonable hour.<br><br>
Finally, at almost two years old, babies are becoming children. They want to know what they can and can't do (IMHO) and are trying to figure that out. Even if 'no' brings tears, they are learning from your guidance what is and isn't acceptable behavior. I am a loving parent, but I am not a pushover and there are limits! By setting some and being consistent, you should have some good changes in a week or two. Just don't start and then slack off! You really have to be consistent.<br><br>
One other random thought- my dd has huge sucking needs and when I weaned her 1/2 way though my pregnancy, she really needed something to suck on. Those nuby sippy cups were so great for her. She really liked them, even with just water in them.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you mama. You are doing a good job!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mighty-mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957764"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thanks again..<br><br>
He isn't really into carbs, besides croutons? And he loves loves loves cottage cheese.. He is a dairy nut, and he'll eat yogurt. Fruit he likes, but will only eat a bit or two, unless it's watermelon.<br></div>
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it find that often times we crave things that we don't digest well. so i would be thinking that he has a big problem with diary if he is wanting it all of the time. I would try dairy elimination for a week or 2 to see if his behavior changes at all.<br><br>
i hope things are going better for you:)
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LionTigerBear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7956106"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds dietary to me. Sounds very familiar. Most toddlers I know have an insufficient diet and that's what causes the "terrible 2s" etc.<br><br>
My son was about that much trouble, and we found a couple of things: 1. he cannot tolerate refined sugar in any degree and other sweeteners only in small amounts-- suagr makes him have a hard time sleeping and a picky eater 2. MSG, same thing. Now MSG is in anything that has "yeast extract" "autolyzed yeast" "hydrolyzed vegetable (or soy) protien" or simply "spices" (if they're natural spices they'll actually list the real spices, not say "spices". Unfortunately a lot of "natural" and organic foods have these additives too. 3. He can't have too much dairy, but a little bit is fine.<br><br>
4. Also I didn't realize he wasn't getting enough fats. Toddlers need about 6 tablespoons a day of natural fats. I use mainly cultured organic butter and coconut oil, and occasionally some whole fat organic dairy products.<br><br>
We also started giving him eggs every day. Every day I make him scrambled eggs, and a strawberry smoothie (we call it strawberry ice cream!). In the smoothie I put a raw egg yolk and coconut oil, a little grade B organic maple syrup (grade B is the unrefined kind) a small amount of milk or yogurt, and frozen organic strawberries. Sometimes a banana. (I believe there to be no danger of salmonella from raw, organic, free range eggs. All cases of salmonella from eggs were always from regular commercial eggs which are harvested in deplorably filthy conditions.)<br><br>
I know it can be daunting to try to change the diet when you have such a picky eater, but having a picky eater is often a SIGN of an allergy/nutritional deficiency. Gabe is no longer anywhere near as picky as he once was. We had hiom on an elimination diet, and for a while, wheat was off-limits. Bread is one of his favorite things. Afte a while, he stopped asking for it. He found other things he enjoyed. And after we took ou all of his favorite things (almost) he started trying some new things.<br><br>
So, now he is on this special diet described above. Yes we spend a lot of money on food (about $170 a week for a two adults, a toddler, and a nursing baby), no we don't have much money at all, so that is a huge expense for us, but for our peace of mind and our future, it is worth it. Now, he actually takes his nap and falls asleep pretty easily at night. He doesn't wake up in the night anymore. He is docile and sweet and relatively quiet during the day. He is more "connected" with me. Intellectually he is progressing by leaps and bounds, and he is finally potty training (he is 2.5) and it is going so smoothly! All this since we switched his diet.<br><br>
I strongly urge you and any mothers experiencing so much trouble to try a dietary change for your child. I used to cry over missing my sweet baby and the connection we used to have when I wasn't mad at him half the time. Now I have my sweet little boy back and it means the world to me. Good luck to you!</div>
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Thanks for sharing that great advice! My 18 mos old is very "tantrummy" first thing in the morning (after her 10 hour fast) and in the evening. I've just started to offer her a boiled egg in the afternoon (scrambled eggs every morning, too), but, thanks to your post, I'll up the fats, too.<br><br>
To the original post - huge hugs to you! We transitioned dd to her crib at 14 mos when the kicking became unbearable in our full size bed. As part of that process, I moved her evening nursing to before her bedtime story so nursing to sleep would become a thing of the past. I find that she sleeps more soundly alone. If we bring her to our bed on a weekend morning . . . it's not long before I'm asking dh to take her back out and she's fast asleep again in her crib because laying with us really is not restful for her - or us. It sounds like you successfully replaced nursing with the hand on the breast . . . is there another comfort measure you can employ to take the place of that one? Sorry I don't have an actual suggestion for that.
 

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This all sounds overwhelming. I hope you're feeling better now.<br><br>
One of the things I've learned is that, ultimately, my emotions determine the kids' emotions. So, if you're frustrated, angry, tired, whatever, the kids will likely follow suit.<br><br>
It sounds like you probably had a scary day--wondering if the cancer could have come back--plus you probably don't feel well being pregnant. Add that to being awake at night and you were certain to be in a bad space. Your little guy looks to you for all things. If he sees you feeling bad, he probably figures something horrid is happening and he gets scared--which can cause all kinds of difficult behaviors.<br><br>
Whenever I find myself not feeling my best, I really try and be super conscious of how I'm treating the kids. I find this to be the most helpful parenting tactic I have. What am I doing to cause this problem? I'm not saying you're doing bad parenting, I just know if I were afraid of cancer and pregnant-sick I would not be at my best.<br><br>
I also don't worry about how much my toddler is eating. Toddlers don't starve themselves. If they need food they eat, if they don't they don't. We just talked about this at our mom/baby group today. All the moms that worried their kids weren't eating enough eventually figured out their kids weren't starving. Several of them also realized their toddlers seemed to react to their parents' food neurosis and almost "rebelled" against the parents. I'd recommend backing down on worrying about the food and see if that helps. Again, he won't starve himself.<br><br>
Good Luck. I hope you feel better. I'm really glad you give your son so much attention and affection. He needs (and deserves) it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamabear&babybear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957590"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Grade B doesn't mean that it is unrefined. Maple is graded based on flavor and color which changes as the season progresses. Fancy and AA grades are made at the beginning of the season when the sap is at it's sweetest and as the season progresses the sap becomes darker and more bitter creating grades B and C. What you want is <b>pure</b> maple syrup and from there decide what flavor you like. Typically fancy is more of a dessert maple syrup and grades B and C are used for cooking due to the strong flavor.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> oops, time for me to do a little more research on that one . . . thanks for the info!
 

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I highly recommend the book "Sleepless in America". I'm reading it right now because my DS has several of the same problems you are listing for your DS and it's amazing how many behavioral issues (even eating) can be linked to sleep deprivation. My DS is a terrible sleeper but has already improved since I've started reading the book and following the suggestions (BTW we tried both NCSS books without much success, too, but this book is much more detailed and helpful, I'm finding). I hope you find something that helps you soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I second "Sleepless in America". I would also recommend " Is this your child? : discovering and treating unrecognized allergies" by Deloris? Rapp.<br><br>
I would also recommend that you establish a very consistent routine for the ENTIRE day - so from wake-up time to bed time, he should have an idea of what's coming next. It doesn't have to be a strict schedule, just a routine. Our dd is very irregular, and is helped TREMENDOUSLY when we have a very consistent routine. It didn't work as a baby, but it really helps as a toddler.<br><br>
As part of that, make sure that you get OUTSIDE every morning. To minimize the dressing pains, get him dressed the night before and let him sleep in his clothes. Then all you have to do is change his diaper.<br><br>
When he's being unreasonable, offer fewer, not more choices. My kids simply cannot handle choices or decision making when they're cranky.<br><br>
Our ds needs a high fat, high protein snack before bedtime or he wakes up a bear. When he took naps, he needed it before naptime too.<br><br>
Put a cooler with a sippy cup with milk by your bedside!<br><br>
Other suggestions:<br>
You need to find some time ALL TO YOURSELF every day. I would suggest that you read the book "Women's Moods" - there's a great plan in there for helping you take care of yourself. You sound about 1/2 step away from full blown depression - which given all you have to deal with isn't really surprising. It might be just 15 minutes for a walk around the block. But you sound exhausted, overwhelmed and very hormonal (I can't imagine having to worry about cancer, a 2 year old and a pregnancy). You cannot be a good parent if you are exhausted. Our ds vastly preferred me to dh, but if I was not there, they had a fine time together.<br><br>
You need to find some time to rejuvenate yourself every day. Wait, didn't I just say that? Yes, because it's important. you're not modeling taking care of yourself for your son. He's not an infant any more, and so some of his 'wants' can wait. Obviously, he's only 2, so you are going to assume that he still has a lot of unmet needs. But it's time to help him gently learn that mom has needs too.<br><br>
Have you thought about 'night weaning' him from having to touch your breast? We recently night weaned dd from nursing. And while it was difficult, it only took about 3 days. It sounds like your dh is willing to be a partner in parenting, so maybe it's time for him to take over the night time parenting for a bit.
 
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