[Spencersmom]

I went for my son's one year check up today. Just a little history for you - My ped gave me advice when my son was born that I should gently retract his foreskin just a bit. She said that it is better to have it retracted gently over time than to be traumatically retracted in some accident in the future (what kind of logic is this?) Anyway, I didn't listen to her for the longest time and then just before we went in for a six month visit, or so, I did it for a couple of days. I guess I was afraid that she would be able to tell I hadn't been doing it

: . Boy do I regret that now after all I read. Anyway, doing this caused him to bleed, even though I swear I did it only a little bit and gently. She saw him and told me that the bleeding was normal

. She recommended that I retract it 4 x a day to put antibiotic cream in there so he would not get an infection. That just didn't sit right with me so I did a lot of reading on line and here in the forums. Thank God for MDC and now I understand that foreskin should never, ever be retracted by anyone but the person who it belongs to.

Sorry for the long history. So today I went in for his visit, told her that I was uncomfortable with the advice that she gave me about retracting, that I had read a ton of information that all said leave it alone and that I did not plan to ever retract him again. I then told her that I did not want her to retract him either during his exam. She said, "okay" so I laid my son down on the table. When she got to the genital part of the exam, she started RETRACTING HIS FORESKIN!!!!!!!

I grabbed her hand and said, "Please don't do that. I just told you I didn't want that done." She says, "I know, I just need to check the hole at the tip of his penis to make sure it is open." WHAT?!?!? Then she went on and on about how he could get a UTI if the hole was not open, blah, blah, blah. I moved her out of the way and snapped my son's diaper back on. Who the HE double hockeysticks does this woman think she is??? I was so angry I almost got my stuff and walked right out but ended up just yes ma'aming her through the rest of the visit.

Needless to say I will NEVER step foot in her office again. I have learned my lesson and will never let my guard down again, or assume that people have heard and will honor my requests. I still am in complete shock. Can you believe it? Sadly, I bet there are some of you who can.

 

[Frankly Speaking]

We catch a little HE double hockysticks from medical professionals her about lambasting medical professionals who don't know what the HE double hockysticks about what they are doing. However, we see entirely too much of this ignorance for it to be the exception rather than the rule.

I suspect this is an example of her ignorance. I suspect she was checking him for meatal stenosis. That is something that only circumcised boys get.

I know, I know, we have to train them in the proper care of our intact sons genitals. Why don't we have to give our cab drivers driving lessons? Why don't we have to teach our airline pilots the fine points of mechanically assisted flight? Why do we have to teach our doctors how to handle our sons genitals? Something just doesn't add up there!

Frank

 

[keptwoman]

the thing I find most astonishing about your ped visits is that they look at the genitals at all! Apart from the very first visit after my kids (2 boys 1 girl) have been born the only reason they have had their nappy off at the doctors is to weigh them. What is it with American doctors and their obsession about babies genitals??

Personally I would tell your peds who want to look at their genitals to forget it! Id refuse to remove the diaper. As parents we can figure out if there is an issue and then and only then should they get anywhere near their penis (or vagina for that matter)

 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I remember at every visit with dd the ped. would look at her genitals by gently seperating the area. I figured the reason was cause I have heard of other baby girls trying to grow together. Never saw this with my own dd tho. I am actually terrified to take ds back for his well checks cause of the fear of a stupid ped. trying to retract him. I have had 2 ped's already try to gently pull the skin back and look at the hole

: The second one i even spoke to him about it before hand and he looked at me as tho i had 2 heads

I want to just say from the get go to not even touch the diaper area but i am afraid they will think it is cause i am trying to hide something like abuse.

 

[TortelliniMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spencersmom She said that it is better to have it retracted gently over time than to be traumatically retracted in some accident in the future

Um, exactly what kind of accident is she envisioning? "Well, I was repairing my printer while naked, and before I knew it, whoops, my foreskin was yanked down the paper feed!" As if it weren't bad enough that these pesky foreskins are so dirty and cause infections, now they're apparently prone to slapstick-style injuries...

On a more serious note, I'm sure your son will be perfectly content to do his own "gentle retraction over time." I'm so glad you've saved him from her "care"!

 

[Paddington]

TortelliniMama almost got me in trouble. laughing out loud at work is a no-no :LOL

 

[njeb]

Spencersmom: Good for you for standing up for your son!

Shame on that doctor!

: It's horrifying how ignorant American doctors are.
But if you read the thread about the anatomy textbook that a nursing student is using in her class, you'll realize why. The textbook has NO pictures of intact penises whatsoever. The only mention of the foreskin is that it is removed during a circumcision.

NO mention of its many purposes. It's as though it is nothing but a vestigial organ like the appendix or the tonsils. I suspect that the anatomy textbooks used in medical schools are no better. Our doctors are getting no training whatsoever in the proper care of an intact penis, or why a foreskin is valuable and should be preserved.
One suggestion: when you change practices, write this doctor a letter and let her know WHY. Tell her you find her ignorance appalling, and you refuse to let her take care of your ds any longer. Doctors will only change when it hits them in their pocketbooks.

 

[wtchyhlr]

Um, exactly what kind of accident is she envisioning? "Well, I was repairing my printer while naked, and before I knew it, whoops, my foreskin was yanked down the paper feed!" QUOTE]

:

 

[paquerette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankly Speaking Why don't we have to give our cab drivers driving lessons?

You've obviously been in different cabs than I have.

 

[polka123]

Good for you for standing up to that Dr.

(((((((((((hugs for having to deal with that )))))))

 

[bell bottom blues]

On one of the public anti-circ lists (I think it was Against Circumcision), a woman wrote about a doctor who retracted her son's foreskin.

She got a ton of advice from other people, including a lawyer on the list, who encouraged her to see a lawyer and seek damages for this.

From this, I got the impression that we ought to be doing more than just not going back to these idiot doctors. They are too ignorant to be safe.

Have you contacted your local nocirc? They might send some info to this doctor.

 

[Frankly Speaking]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bell bottom blues On one of the public anti-circ lists (I think it was Against Circumcision), a woman wrote about a doctor who retracted her son's foreskin. She got a ton of advice from other people, including a lawyer on the list, who encouraged her to see a lawyer and seek damages for this. From this, I got the impression that we ought to be doing more than just not going back to these idiot doctors. They are too ignorant to be safe.

I somewhat agree with this. I think the reality is that a lawsuit wouldn't get very far though. I don't think this country is ready to go that far, especially the older generation. (judges and juries) At this point, many still see the foreskin at best as an expendable body part with no value and at worst, a problematical structure that should be removed in all cases. In that light, I suspect they would see the forcible retraction as something the doctor should do to look for problems regardless of what the experts and medical associations say. They may even see the parent as almost negligent for not circumcising their son.

What I can see as valuable is a letter from a lawyer quoting the medical associations and outlining the proper care of children's penises along with a very strong warning that if the practice continues that legal action will follow. I see this as a kick start for the doctor to educate him/herself on the proper care of the intact penis to avoid the litigation they so fear. While it's sad that we have to force education on doctors at the threat of ruining their careers and practices, I also think that the ends justify the means. I'm sure any doctor would rather have just the threat of a lawsuit rather than a full blown court case. Perhaps the threat of a lawsuit would be enough to get a dialog started in the medical profession with the result being a very strong statement from the medical associations such as doctor Dennis Kendall of the CPS/Saskatchewan has issued on several occasions that has changed the face of circumcision in Canada.

Frank

 

[Paddington]

nocirc has a pamplet about it. check it out

 

[MommyPam]

We recently moved, and I went to interview the pediatrician I found before I took the kids in for appointments. At the interview, I explained that 3 year old DS was intact, and that I didn't feel there was any reason to touch his penis AT ALL during the exam. She totally agreed that no one should ever retract my son except my son himself, and agreed that she did not need to touch his penis during an exam.

So fast forward to the exam a few weeks later, where she couldn't resist taking a quick look at his penis. He's at least semi-retractable, so he didn't say a work about it, it was quick, and I know she didn't hurt him. But, jeez, even the peds who talk a good game seem to have a tough time with this.

At his next check up I will remind her when she walks in the door that she does not need to check his penis.

This is so much better than the ignorant doctor who made your son bleed, but still kind of annoying.

 

[falcon]

So sorry for your awful doctor experience

I always keep a few of those no circ pamphlets in my diaper bag, ready to give out to any doctor who wants to argue with me that my son has to be retracted to check for something. It's good to have the back up from a legit organization

 

[juju's mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TortelliniMama Um, exactly what kind of accident is she envisioning? "Well, I was repairing my printer while naked, and before I knew it, whoops, my foreskin was yanked down the paper feed!" As if it weren't bad enough that these pesky foreskins are so dirty and cause infections, now they're apparently prone to slapstick-style injuries... On a more serious note, I'm sure your son will be perfectly content to do his own "gentle retraction over time." I'm so glad you've saved him from her "care"!

Jenn

 

[Paddington]

maybe they are just looking for something else to do to pass the time and show they are earning their co-pay? if you are going and not getting a vaccination, what else can they do during well-baby check ups????

 

[erlyco]

Quote:

Originally Posted by acp maybe they are just looking for something else to do to pass the time and show they are earning their co-pay? if you are going and not getting a vaccination, what else can they do during well-baby check ups????

Exactly! Which then begs the question...
why do we go to so many well-baby checkups?

When we realized that all they do is ask *me* about DS (history, diet, sleeping, etc.) and listen to him breathe, I basically stopped going.

Fortunately, I found a great ped (after switching b/c of the vax issue). He agreed that there's no point to frequent visits if we're not getting shots. He recommended a 2 yr visit, but we haven't gone yet (DS is 25 months). We'll go sometime this year just for a general checkup I guess.

Incidentally, the new ped is great about the circ issue (non-issue). He's never touched the penis. He did check the testicles (for hernia I assume??), but didn't touch DS's penis. So there are some good ones out there...

 

[wendy1221]

We got a new ped last fall. I am SO happy w/ him! And the way he treats my ds' intact penises is just the icing on the cake, IMO. He doesn't touch the penis at all except maybe to move it out of the way while he checks to see if both testicles are there (this is to check for a hernia, btw, which can be pretty painful and is actually pretty common. My brother had surgery when he was 2 for it and my FIL had it last month.) I took ds in for bronchitis this winter and asked the doc we saw (our ped's partner, not the one we usually see) to take a peek at his penis since it was very red swollen and icky looking (looked like yellow pus at the tip to me). She picked it up to look at the tip but didn't try to retract at all and told me it looked like yeast to her and to just put some Lotrimin/Monistat on it. I've seen a lot of peds since ds1 was born and this was the first time I met a ped who didn't try to see how far it retracted (to look at the hole???), let alone 2! Hopefully this is a new trend. My ped is not young, he's not old either--late 30's early 40's, but he has a bunch of kids so maybe he informed himself. His new partner is young, just finished her residency, so who knows if she got useful info in med school (I find that unlikely) or if my ped just gave her the info.

 

[Pandora114]

I still don't get why Dr's just HAVE to fiddle with children's genitals at all. Check once for the testicles and hernias, but leave all else alone, a two second bounce the bag is all that it takes, ONCE. rest of the time it should be *open diap peek for rash or any horriblness close diap*