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Discussion Starter #1
DS's birthday party is on Friday and I have been stressing because his grandmothers always go way overboard with gifts. My mom is currently the worst since MIL suddenly has 3 other grandchildren and my kids aren't their only grandkids anymore and don't get as spoiled as much (thank goodness!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ).<br><br>
Mom had mentioned that she hadn't bought anything for DS yet and I said not to worry about getting much. I got thinking about it and to her that means nothing. So I composed a nicely worded email explaining how we're getting rid of all the things we don't use and are trying to keep things simple. I said that a couple of nice presents DS wants would be so much more appreciated than a lot of little things (I worded it different though). I gave a short list of things he wants and or needs and told her not to feel guilty if she doesn't spend much. I know that where's it's close to his birthday she would run out and buy twice as much as normal so I had to take action.<br><br>
It's not that we don't appreciate her gifts but he literally does not play with 90% of the toys she buys him either because it's something he has no intrest in, he already has it, and the big one, he has so many toys he literally does not have room to play with them. PLus she gives the kids at least a shopping bag full of cheap toys each week from second hand stores, which drives me crazy. That stuff is easy to get rid of though, lol!!<br><br>
I can't believe I did it! I have always been too scared to say anything in the past. She uses her guilt to make me feel bad about everything. The reason she buys so much in the first place is because she's guilty that she is so emotionally detached. My kids would rather get a hug or have her say "I love you" than get a big bag of cheap junk, but she doesn't get it. I just hope that she doesn't rebell and get him twice as much as she would of normally gotten, lol!<br><br>
I'm also feeling proud that DS helped me pick out things we could give away and we got rid of much more than I would of on my own. The bags of stuff we're getting rid of are piling up!! I'm so happy that we are freeing ourselves from the bondage of too much stuff <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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You've done what you can. We can't control others actions, but you have set the foundation for what you would like. Great job! I hope she does get the message.
 

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good luck... let us know what happens.... and remember dont stress... kids like to open presents.. you can always put it on ebay, free cycle, craigslist, dontate etc later...<br><br>
i know people love to get my kids stuff... ive gotten over it and just let the kids have fun.... i clean out every so often...
 

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Thanks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. I have to realize people often give gifts and don't think anything of it. I know I do. I would hate to think something I gave someone made them miserable.<br><br>
Just to give an idea of what mom is like. She got the kids each the exact same talking Bratz doll for easter just because it was cheap. In total, she gave my kids **5** Bratz, for EASTER! That's not including all the princess stuff, clothes, games, candy, ect... she got them, stuff they don't even play with. She's always buying DS girl things, which bothers me as she doesn't even consider that he likes boy things too (I mean he is a boy!!). He even told me he thinks Nanny wishes he was a girl since she's always buying him girl things (I won't even get into that huge story!!).
 

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Good for you! I hope she respects it. I had a really nice long talk with both my mom and MIL about this. My MIL instead of buying toys always buys mountains of really cheap clothes and then my mom still insists on buying plastic Disney nonsense. My mom asked me to help her pick out something really nice that fit with what we want for each of my kids birthdays. So I helped her pick out a wooden car for ds and a playsilk costume for dd. Both are small, high quality and will actually get used. Then yesterday my mom calls me and tells me that she is SO excited because she just bought my dd a Disney princess watch and a Little Mermaid pretend cell phone to give to her in addition to the gift I already helped her pick out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I really thought she got it, but apparently not. Don't be surprised if you family continues to buy that stuff, and it is completely fine in my mind to find homes for it all the next day. I already know that dd is going to "lose" her watch and phone sometime soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Well, I was talking to mom today and she said she got DS a portable DVD player. Not something he really needs and more extravagant than I'd hope, but that's ok. I think that's it so that's fine. She's also going to buy an ice cream cake (although I'm going to be prepared just in case as she's not always good with follow through).<br><br>
I talked to MIL and her gifts are reasonable. I'm feeling a little better about everything. I have been fighting hard the urge to run out and buy more, lol!!!
 
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