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DH and I chose to keep our son intact. At first he was against it but with education and telling him he would have to pry our son out of my cold dead hands, before I would be okay with a circ, he said okay. Then after the baby was born, he tells people that he would never hurt his baby that way, instead of saying it was my decision.<br><br>
Well, I have a family member about to have a boy and they are going to circ. I thought I would just be fine with it, but I'm not.<br><br>
The thought of seeing that poor little one after that is done makes me feel ill.<br><br>
I have given her all the info, that I can but she is doing the "he (DH) has the penis" cop-out. I know it is just something that I will have to deal with, but its justs knots me up.
 

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I'm so with you. I have some friends that have chosen to circ their son since it's "cleaner" and some other bs reasons. I'm very torn up about it. My mom and I have even cried about it while discussing how horrific it is. I don't know if I will ever be able to shake my judgment of this couple and my sorrow for their little boy. I have given them countless websites with info and some graphic videos yet still they want to circ. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you. I feel your pain and am right there with you.
 

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I try really hard not to be judgemental of people who never tried to find their own facts...but I have to try even harder to be civil to folks who KNOW the facts and still use some lame a$$ excuse to salve their guilt and pay to have their baby mutilated! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br>
You aren't alone, I'm so sorry you're emotionally invested and its happening anyway! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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Do they really understand the procedure and what they are taking away from their child?<br><br>
My phone company finally got DSL service to us and I have now watched the Function of the Foreskin online video. It is very enlightening about the foreskin and details exactly how it functions and all the nerves and unique anatomy that it contains.<br><a href="http://tinyurl.com/2zaaax" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/2zaaax</a><br><br>
There are several online videos available in our Web Resources sticky thread, at the top of the page. Maybe if they understood what they are taking away from their child, they would not do it.<br><br>
And it's great for those who have made the choice to leave their child intact to see this as well, as it will give some real understanding of why it was a good idea!
 

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I know i may be the minority but, if I have given them the info, and they know the truth then I would break the friendship off. When people know the truth about MGM, and still cut their kid, to me that is child abuse. plain and simple. Hugs to you, it is a hard road to travel when you know the truth.
 

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No, I don't think you are in the minority here in this forum by having this opinion.<br><br>
We've had discussions here about just this very issue: do you sever ties and cut friendships with people who circumcise their child even after being presented with the information?<br><br>
There are two different ways to look at it (and probably many shades of grey inbetween). If you maintain contact, you give yourself access to love the child and have a relationship with him and later, much later, you can discuss it with him and present him with information abotu circ and restoration. (Possibly best done at 18, when they are legal adults?)<br><br>
If you sever ties, you don't have the opportunity. I clearly understand how you will never see a person the same way once knowing they have done this to their child.<br><br>
I think in the end, we all have to live with ourselves. I know someone who has two circ'd boys and it was a very very long time before I could ever think of those children without seeing in my mind's eys strapped to a circ board screaming! It still comes to mind, just not every time I think of them.<br><br>
The damage of circ is far reaching.
 

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Sadly I know how you feel, When I had my DS and did all the research and decided against it I KNEW it was wrong and I tried to talk to my best friend about it because she was preggo with a boy too (there 4 months apart) and I really think I could have “saved” him but I didn’t try hard enough. I was still new at this whole thing and as much as a knew then it wasn’t as much as I know now and now I am “armed” with every possible “reason” (aka excuse) they come up with. Her reason’s for doing it were the same as every other women who is uneducated about the subject, “its cleaner” “less infection” “ I don’t have the penis so I don’t know what its like to be or not to be circumcised” you all know the drill. And I tried with her and gave her lots of info in but I know I didn’t try hard enough. And in the end they circ.ed him and there’s nothing I could do about it  even NOW a year later I still think about it and wished I would have tried harder but there’s nothing I could do about it now, the damage is done. So there’s nothing to do but to let it go.<br><br>
Try not to dwell over it too much and if the baby hasn’t been circ.ed yet then theres still a chance and still hope. Don’t give up like I did, it will just make you feel worse!!<br><br>
As for the “I don’t have the penis” argument, tell her well her DH doesn’t have the foreskin (like she does) so he doesn’t know what it’s like to be circumcised either. They made this baby together they need to make this decision together not point fingers and say well he wants it done or she wants it done.<br><br>
Like your DH, how NOW he is saying DS was left intact because “HE” didn’t want to harm his son, she is putting the blame on her DH so she can’t feel responsible for what happen’s. Talk her out of it!! You can do it, and if you need help come here!!!<br><br>
Good luck!!<br><br>
YAY on your intact DS too!!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"> Hi Cindy!<br><br>
I'm in a pretty similar situation and it stinks. I think it's even harder when it's a family member and not just a friend. It's to the point where I'm hoping the ultrasound was wrong and the baby is really a girl.<br><br>
Is it family on your side or DH's? If it's on his, maybe he can talk to them about his change of heart?<br><br>
It's really crappy when you have sons so close in age - the picture of Alexander as a perfect yet helpless newborn is still so fresh in your mind, ya know? (That also lead to the gem of a comment from a certain family member about what I'll tell James when he notices E's son "looks right" while he doesn't <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Don't get me started...)<br><br>
She's not due until May, so I plan on working on it some more and we see them a lot in the next month or so, maybe she and her DH will see that a foreskin isn't so scary and change her mind.<br><br>
If she doesn't, it'll be really, really hard. So I hear you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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