[nicole lisa]

DP and I were talking about this earlier because a friend of ours is taken back by our not correcting DS' and his theories when he's trying to explain why something happens or happened.

I started out correcting him last summer "no, DS the sky is blue (or whatever) because .....blah..blah..blah." But DS would have none of it and always let me know that what he was telling me is why it is blue. I figure he's young and really, when he asks for the info I can point him in the right direction, but right now what he's doing is sharing how he sees it. I figure that part of why I am keeping him out of school is so he won't be forced to learn things he's not interested in and so the things he is interested in won't be force fed to him via memorization and/or without a real context.

I just think of all the ways I could have come around to the right answer if it had not just been given to me on a hand out.

I'm pretty secure in this but my friend thinks I'm missing teachable moments (unschooling so don't see myself as a teacher) and I'm setting my son up for teasing in the park if I continue to let him believe his own explanations while the kids there after school will know the science reason.

Again, if he asks a specific question we work together to find the answer, but right now he is also so full of fun and crazy theories of the world and I think he should be allowed the time to discover if they hold or not in his own time.

Any comments?

 

[Marsupialmom]

My answer is going to depend on what age your child is.

Also, sometimes teachable momments sometimes are better happening later. If you are butting heads he won't learn a darn thing. Your child has made up this elaborate reason why the sky is blue. Take a time when you are removed from the discussion and explore reflection and light. Then throw in the explaination of why the sky is blue. DO NOT SAY YOUR Theory is WRONG (unless there is an important reason why). That just promotes head butting.

 

[nicole lisa]

Sorry, Marsupialmom, he's going to be 5 in the fall. I can't imagine rushing him through this time right now. His imaginative life is so rich and he's trying to come up with ways to describe what he sees happening around him (apples falling down not up etc).

 

[Nurturing Mama]

I think you're doing fine. If he's not interested in the real reason for things happening, then I don't think I would try to force it on him, either. I'm sure he'll want to know the real reason eventually. In the meantime, it sounds like he's getting a lot of practice in critical thinking while he tries to figure out how things work on his own.

Carrie

 

[Persephone]

I agree, I would treasure this time. Young children haven't yet learned how to think inside the box. I think we (As a general population) spend our time teaching our young kids how to think inside the box, and then spend time trying to get them to think outside the box when they get older! Let him have his theories. I would even go so far as to write them down so you can remember them when he gets older.

In good time, he'll learn what's what.

 

[Marsupialmom]

At five you let it go. This doesn’t mean you don’t explore these concepts at some other time but 5, is just 5. Let him imagine and be creative.

 

[ShannonCC]

My dd is six and I still don't correct her imaginative ideas

If she actually asks how something works I tell her or we look it up (or sometimes I ask her what she thinks first) but if she comes up with something all on her own I don't tell her she's wrong. I think imagination is squelched too often in the name of "learning" so I try not to do that.

 

[nicole lisa]

Thanks everyone for weighing in.

Persephone, I love what you wrote.

Shannon, I agree that we sometimes are too eager as a society to get done to facts and take away the fun in learning and discovering.

 

[zealsmom]

My son will also be 5 in the fall, and is doing the same thing. We also do not correct him. What greater gift can you give your child than letting them find the confidence in himself to come up with his own theories and explanations!

 

[onlyzombiecat]

My dd is 5 and also very imaginative and tells stories to explain things. She doesn't always want the correct answer from me.
I listen to what she says because she didn't ask me for the answer. I might tell her after listening carefully to her version that some people think it is because xyz. She usually sticks to her ideas and I don't badger her about it. I don't tell her she is wrong unless it is something dangerous.
I don't think it is bad to let kids have their own wacky theories while they are 5 as long as if they ask you a question you do give them correct information. I think it is common for the age to use their imaginations in this way even if they go to school so I doubt most 5 or 6 year old kids at the playground are walking around with a lot of scientific information on everything... or even talking about that kind of stuff when they get together.

 

[Embee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole lisa I can't imagine rushing him through this time right now. His imaginative life is so rich and he's trying to come up with ways to describe what he sees happening around him (apples falling down not up etc).

Your instincts are excellent. Go with them, mama!

Regards,
Em

 

[umbrella]

My dd is an older 4, and I don't correct her, as a rule. I don't correct her pronunciation, or her spelling, etc. I will model the correct pronunication, spelling, etc, but see no need to tell her she's wrong right now. She didn't need me to correct her every time she wrote Kria, or ariK to eventually consistently write Kira. She didn't need me to say, "no, it's fore head, not two head" for her to eventually start saying it correctly herself.

I don't correct her musing either, unless she's asking for information. If she's just telling her version of something, for the sake of telling a story, then who am I to say her story is wrong? But if she's asking a question, and her question includes something inaccurate, I'll let her know, "actually..." because she WANTS to know.

 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

I'm with you.

My dd is almost 5 too. I usually respond to her theories with a comment like "That's an interesting idea!" or "You think that could be why the sky is blue? Interesting." If she is right about something (and she often is at least on the right track,) then I will tell her that and maybe fill in some gaps for her if she seems interested. (And sometimes even if she doesn't -- I can't always help myself!

)

I don't have a "rule" about not correcting though. Sometimes I awknowledge a wild idea as imaginative, then give the real reason or explaination. I can usually tell when my dd wants/needs the truth vs. when she's just being imaginative or doesn't care about the truth. I bet the same is true for you with your ds.

I'm more apt to correct her when she's re-stating something she's been learning about and gets part of it wrong. I see that as part of the learning process. But I let lots of stuff go -- I love to hear her wonderful ideas and would hate to squash them!

 

[flyingspaghettimama]

This is such a cool thread. I was confounded by this issue starting about a year ago when my daughter was four and had a million questions. I got ideas from two sources - Reggio Emilia philosophy and Roger Schenk. If my daughter asked why the airplanes made trails, I would ask her back, "why do YOU think the airplanes make trails," and listen to her answer. I never give her one. Then, I would say that it was interesting but ask questions to help her rethink her original answer, sort of a socratic dialogue? What else makes trails? Do cars have trails sometimes? When it's cold? And how cold is it in the sky? How hot is the plane? What makes the trails that we see outside the car? Is it really smoke? Is there a fire inside? We could go back and forth like this for a while sometimes; and sometimes she didn't really want to pursue it; or she wants me to google it. Now at five we talk about all sorts of things and come up with various theories, some a little closer than others...

 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Quote:

Originally Posted by loraeileen This is such a cool thread. I was confounded by this issue starting about a year ago when my daughter was four and had a million questions. I got ideas from two sources - Reggio Emilia philosophy and Roger Schenk. If my daughter asked why the airplanes made trails, I would ask her back, "why do YOU think the airplanes make trails," and listen to her answer. I never give her one. Then, I would say that it was interesting but ask questions to help her rethink her original answer, sort of a socratic dialogue? What else makes trails? Do cars have trails sometimes? When it's cold? And how cold is it in the sky? How hot is the plane? What makes the trails that we see outside the car? Is it really smoke? Is there a fire inside? We could go back and forth like this for a while sometimes; and sometimes she didn't really want to pursue it; or she wants me to google it. Now at five we talk about all sorts of things and come up with various theories, some a little closer than others...

This is a better description of what I often do than my own post! :LOL I never thought about it that much, I guess. It's not correcting so much as exploring together. Maybe I picked some of it up because my dd attends a Reggio Emilia preschool? Hmmm... I think I did it even before that though. Maybe that's why I love her preschool!

 

[lilyka]

At five it would depend on a lot of things. how resistant they were to correct information, were they trying to be a show off or a know it all, were just just making theories and giesses, were they just using thier imagination, what exactly was the theory.

I may just let it slide altogether. I may just say "wow thats an intresting theory" or "wow, what an imagination you have". however if tehre was some sort of prideful know it all th ing going on we would address that attitude as wel as give correct information. or if she refused to acept the corect information we would address that to, and would be hesitant to blow off incorrect information until I knew she could accept cerrection.

 

[Jen123]

Hannah is my seven year old. We were driving past a new bank. Huge , four stories ,made of stone , lots of windows, fancy sign , etc... As we drove past she asked what the sign said. We told her it said "free krispy kremes while you wait". Then we went on to add most banks have some sort of free refreshment while you wait in line. Hannah then begins to "explain" why the bank had so many floors. It was obviously for daycare use. In her mind every age would have a different floor. The kids could play while mom and dad were doing their 'money stuff'. She described in detail indoor playground equipment. Why else would the build such a huge bank ? She asked if we could visit. Dh and I were tickled with her description. We said we could visit sometime. I could see dh biting his tongue to tell her the real reason the bank had so many floors. Then dh gently says "I like your ideas on what the building is used for , but it 's probably just offices". Hannah becomes very quiet. She focuses on ONE word. "You said 'probably' that means you don't know either."

gotta love that.

We corrected ds all the time. I now have a twelve year old who finishes most sentences with some form of "is that right?" or "at least I think so". Breaks my heart.

 

[nicole lisa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen123 Hannah becomes very quiet. She focuses on ONE word. "You said 'probably' that means you don't know either." gotta love that.

I do love that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen123 We corrected ds all the time. I now have a twelve year old who finishes most sentences with some form of "is that right?" or "at least I think so". Breaks my heart.

oh Jen, thanks for sharing that. I hope I can succeed in DS not doing that...I was always a kid who ended each sentence with a raise in tone (like asking a question) in hopes I was right. I never liked point blank statements cause I was always afraid I wouldn't be correct. I've gotten better at not doing that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilyka however if tehre was some sort of prideful know it all th ing going on we would address that attitude as wel as give correct information.

Yeah, I have a hard time dealing with precocious kids. Nails on a chalk board for me. Luckily DS is super laid back and just having fun with his imagination and trying to explain the world as he experiences it. And who am I to say how he views the things going on around him is wrong? He'll figure thiings out and ask questions as he needs and wants to and the correct info will be there waiting for him in a book or on the internet or through experiments.

 

[lilyka]

I have a friend whose child isa know it all. the problem ishe is nt a know it all. he is often wrong. Inever let it slide with him since he is so smug about "knowing" everything. with my own kids I usually let it slide sine they know as well as I do that they are telling stories and aren't trying to make themselves seem bug and important by knowing everything. if a child actually knew the answers and had a good attitude (wasn't just showing off) it wouldn't bother me one bit. i would be pretty impressed actually. But that whole building themselves up thing really chaps my hide.