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My 11 mo old does nothing but scream and whine. "NANANANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAMAMAMAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA!!!" She nurses all night except when she pops herself off and screams because she isn't nursing. I can't even shift position. I lay in bed until I can't hold it and try to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then get something to eat and she screams for half an hour no matter how I try to distract her.<br><br>
I am LOSING it. I can't stand this. All my time since the day she was born has been spent nursing and catering to her every need. AP has NOT made her content and easy. It has made me burnt out and hateful.<br><br>
Self-righteous people please don't post. I only want real support.
 

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Oh, BSD. No real advice, but <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">. I am there, so exactly where you are, except my ds is 2.5 yrs old. It is rough. Sigh. More <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Wish I had some meaningful advice, but all I have is sympathy, and e-hugs, of course. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I'm so sorry. My dd was the same way until she learned to walk. Then she was a new child. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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is this different from her "normal" self? My little monkey does that when she's having a hard time with teeth.<br><br>
Hang in there mama!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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BSD-<br><br>
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It sucks to feel so tired and frustrated.<br>
My ds1 was like that. Only happy when directly attached at the nipple. UGH! drove me insane. Have you tried an exclusion diet? Just a year ago (mind you ds1 turned 8 this month) we had him tested for food allergies and sensitivities...he's allergic to glutens, dairy, and eggs. If I had only known then, I think I would have had about a million more hours of sleep.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I totally know how you feel. I've questioned my decision to make sacrifices for my daughter, and have very seriously sat down in the recent past and made amendments to those sacrifices to save my sanity. The biggest one being the all night nursing, like you describe. I have health issues that prevent me from comfortably laying in the same position all night, and the pain slowly turned into resentment, and the resentment slowly turned into hatred, and.. well, I didn't want to go where the hatred would have led me, so I made some changes.<br><br>
Dr. Sears said it best - "if you resent it, change it".<br><br>
Making a shift toward doing something different can be done, even in the most AP'ish of AP households. I know what you mean about self righteousness, so feel free to PM me if you want.<br><br>
ETA: And I wanted to just say that teething is horrible for DD. Hylands and rescue remedy were great at first, but after the first two, she got the rest in batches (I'm talking 4 at a time). She just got FOUR molars at the same time, and has another 4 coming in. It's really traumatizing for her.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Big hugs BSD. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
 

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You don't deserve this! I agree! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
(My first thought was dietary issue. My every thought is dietary issue, though.)
 

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I am so sorry, I would lose my mind so fast .. is there anybody to spot you? or could somebody come stay for a while? If no, can somebody come over for a couple/few hours a day? Even if you have to hire them.
 

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I'm sorry. Sometimes I go to the gym just to use the childcare & have my brain to myself for a little while.<br><br>
For immediate relief, make sure she's safe & comfortable, put on a watch, & go sit in your car for 5 minutes wth the windows up & the music on. Or whatever (if that is considered cio, kindly bite me. Emergencies are dealt with differently than standard caretaking, & this sounds like an emergency).<br><br>
Whn I get like this I try to 'reconnect' with more closeness, a snuggle, just hanging out nursing, but it sounds as though you've expended everything you've got in that direction already. It may well be dietary or teething or illness, but to be able to figure it out and care for her you need to clear your brain.<br><br>
Sending calm baby vibes & prayers that you two can work this out. Don't lose your mind!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TigerTail</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8117672"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For immediate relief, make sure she's safe & comfortable, put on a watch, & go sit in your car for 5 minutes wth the windows up & the music on. Or whatever (if that is considered cio, kindly bite me. Emergencies are dealt with differently than standard caretaking, & this sounds like an emergency).</div>
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</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bow">
 

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is she usually like this?<br><br>
does she like to be outside?<br><br>
ear infection? teeth?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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If it were me, I would try and limit the boob time. It will be hard. But it seems like she is burning you out.<br>
just for a little while to see if she can calm down on her own without your breast all the time. mine just needs to be held and with me all the time and wanted to nurse like every 30 mins. really. i had to slowly just say no. i just can't do that ALL the time.<br>
it was hard but now it is so much better now.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. tempting as it is to CIO we both know its not right. But you are doing a great job being there for her thru this difficult time. Try and find a mantra to help you. remember this time will pass quickly and it is a phase of sorts. my first thought was growth spurt. my little goose gets like this when he is hungry all the time. for the past 3 weeks he has been eating more than me! have you tried offering some high calorie filling snacks? (like his big thing right now is oatmeal/cream of wheat made with breast milk) and lots of raisins and carbs. Maybe she is just really needing some calories. remember she doesn't have any other way to communicate when she is really frustrated, she is trying to tell you something. try and replace that screaming with words. "WAHHHHHHHH" (she says) "oh darling, is that so? Your tummy is hungry? your teeth are painful? well lets see what we can do about that". If you fake yourself into sounding calm, sometimes that actually makes you calm, and the baby can sense that. Do you know what i mean? sometimes being fake ends up being real. There is a thread going about "what to do when you're frustrated" or something like that...posted there too. Maybe you will find some peace in that thread.<br><br>
Praying peace upon you.<br>
HTH.
 

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Have you tried a pacifier? Will she take one?<br><br>
If she won't take a pacifier, I would start limiting when she can nurse. Set the timer, and after 30 minutes, get up and take a break. Do you have a partner? If so, it's time for them to start taking over some of this parenting burden, especially at night.<br><br>
Who's around who can help you? She's 11 months old. She's got a great start. You can start by taking short walks (15 min?) around the block - if she cries while she's in dad's arms (or the arms of someone who loves her and will hold her), she will live. You cannot be a good parent if you are going insane. You need to take some time EVERY DAY for self care. It doesn't need to be long, but it needs to happen.<br><br>
One of the shifts that happens when a baby moves from baby to toddler is that parenting becomes less about preventing crying and more about helping a child through those very intense emotions that she has. She's not quite there, but she's getting there.<br><br>
And I hate to tell you this, but AP is, alas, more about the toddler and child than making babyhood easier!
 

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In addition to the pacifier if she'll take it, maybe a little sign language would help her verbalize her feelings and calm her frustration (and hence her crying) a bit. I hear it helps, anyhow.
 

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just wanted to send hugs and too agree with what everyone else has said.<br><br>
what got me through a lot of the times was:<br><br>
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!<br><br>
editted to add: you might want to pick up and start reading happiest toddler on the block. it has helped me greatly with my intense older child.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> my ds is doing this now he is all about mamamamamama my mamam! my mamaaaa! His is do to teething but i can get him to nap/sleep alone if i nurse him to sleep but unlatch him just before he is in a deep sleep.. then i rub his head or face until he is fully out then i can sneak away (he is 12 months old)<br><br>
Also i don't know if you've done this but it helps SOOO much for me to get outta with the house (with ds) he hates the car (thats another story <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: ) but when we get out to the park or mall, etc he nurses alot less if he is busy playing with something else and then when we get home he'll take a big nap<br><br>
Hope this gets better soon! I know its no fun
 

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I'm so sorry your baby is being so high need. I'm on my third high need baby (even if she is the easiest of the three), and it is exhausting. Especially as they are ending that first year and moving onto/into toddlerhood.<br><br>
Have you tried a backpack carrier? This has been a lifesaver for me. Abby loves to be back there, it's the only other place she will sleep and not nurse, and it frees my hands so I can get something to eat, log in to the computer (if sitting on a birth ball), or even pee (not the most comfortable, but doable, and better than trying to fish her out of the tub).<br><br>
Also, try to get some relief. I am VERY blessed to have a wonderful neighbor girl that loves to play with little ones. She is in 8th grade, now, and will take all three girls for a couple of hours. With the nice weather, she mostly stays outside. Is this a possibility for you? Even if to take her on a walk in the stroller?<br><br>
You sound exhausted. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I hope you get some relief soon.
 

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I'm sorry, that is so hard. DS went through a time like this after he started walking and exploring more. He was too busy to eat during the day and would make up for it all night long. When I started really pushing, come have quiet time and nurse for a while with him during the day time, it helped some.
 
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