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I clicked on this link because you said "I don't have the words" and I always have words! :LOL

But I have not btdt and it seems like a challenging situation. You have an older child at a difficult age (I think a lot of three and four year olds do what your ds does) and a younger sibling. He could have feelings about the younger sibling, or it could just be his age. And I am too chicken to tell you want to do because I haven't been through this age, I've just watched other parents of children that age struggle like you are struggling. (people to emulate? I've only seen parents struggle with four year olds, no one to emulate!)

For what it's worth, it sounds like you are doing many right things. Perhaps you can plan out his snacks and naps to avoid lows during the day? Does he still take a nap? He's a little old but maybe he needs some "quiet time" at nap time?

What do the other children do when he refuses to share or doesn't want to play with one child at playgroup? How does he feel about that?
 
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