[Kerrie]

I went to the OB this morning only to find that there was no baby. He did an internal US and there was nothing there - should have been a 10 week PG in there. I told almost EVERYONE. I don't know what to say to people and I know that I shouldn't worry about it but this is just how I am. I'm not PG but I haven't miscarried but I will be some day soon. I'm such a planner I knew how PG I would be at the end of the summer, how PG I was going to be for my 30th B-day. This wasn't a planned PG in fact it caused a lot of problems with DH and me as he didn't want 3 kids. I was excited but felt so irresponsible since we are broke. I've been crying most of the day. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to tell anyone and now regret so much telling so many people.

 

[LyndaB]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard this is--I lost one recently when I was supposed to be 16 weeks and I too had told everyone. I think the best thing you can do is tell a trusted friend or relative and have them tell everyone that they can so that you don't have to do it every time you see someone. Now, you are going to have to deal with people wanting to hug you and tell you how sorry they are, and it will be hard, but it will be good for you to let go and cry. Be sure and take care of yourself and try to rest and also try to get some alone time to let yourself grieve--it is very important. Hugs again!

 

[foreverinbluejeans]

Of course you told everyone you were pregnant. You didn't know that your baby would not grow. It will be more real once you start to bleed and may seem like loosing the baby twice - once when you were told by the doctor and then again when you see the evidence yourself.

Having an unplanned pregnancy does not mean you will grieve less. You may grieve more because now you will be more careful and there won't be another baby. At least when you are trying to get pregnant a loss may be followed very soon by another pregnancy.

I had an unplanned pregnancy 12 years ago. For a month the pregnancy was tentative (bleeding but positive pregnancy tests) and then it was over. I knew I would never get pregnant again because of life circumstances. I had at least 3 other miscarriages but that last one was the worst. I have 3 boys, what if that had been my daughter?

I hope you have family and friends that can understand and help you through this difficult time.

 

[guestmama9924]

I am sorry for your loss too. You don't have to explain anything that you don't feel like. You suffered a loss. Period. Hopefully , most people will have the decency not to push for details.
A friend of mine recently went through the same thing- about 10 weeks also. Blighted ovum, told everyone, planning,etc. When the time came that revealed there was no baby, they simply said that they "had suffered a loss and will need time alone together to heal and plan for our future family".
XO

s

 

[babycarrier]

Oh Kerrie, I want to wrap you in a hug and keep you floating through this. I am so sorry this is happening to you. The shock can come and go and the not knowing is so hard to grasp right now.
Stay really hydrated. It's okay that you told everyone. Of course you did! This is your baby! You shared your joy and that is beautiful. Take care of yourself in whatever way that works for you now.

 

[tofumama]

Oh, Kerrie...I am so sorry...

I am going to pm you my #...call me if I can do anything, or if you just need to talk or cry...

 

[aimcar]

Oh Kerrie, I'm so, so sorry. It is such a horrible, heartbreaking thing to go through. I had the exact same thing happen to me one week ago. I was almost 9 weeks and had told EVERYONE I was pregnant. I was dreading having to tell all those people I wasn't pregnant anymore and was wishing I hadn't been so excited and told everyone in the first place. But I'm so glad I did because the love and support I've gotten from those people has been overwhelming. It is really helping me work my way through this difficult time. I hope you will have the same experience when you tell your friends and family about your loss. There is no reason to go into details if you don't want to. We simply told people we lost the baby and thankfully everyone was respectful enough to not push for details.

You have suffered a great loss and just because your pregnancy wasn't planned, it doesn't make it any less painful. Please know I am thinking of you and please take good care of yourself. This is so hard, and I wish none of us had to go through it.

 

[3_opihi]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Don't worry about telling everyone right now, just take care of yourself and that will come later. Anyways, I wish you strength and peace right now. We're all here for you

 

[behr]

I saw your post on the due date club and wanted to add my good wishes for you. I was due Jan as well with my 3rd, and dh wasn't thrilled at all. I miscarried at 10 weeks some two weeks ago. What a sad and overwhelming experience. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant, so life continues around me as if nothing happened. Kinda strange and sometimes upsetting.
Wishing you strength, peace, and a good friend to catch your tears!

 

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

love and compassion to you mama....

 

[Kerrie]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Your comments have meant so much to me.